Huntr777 Posted March 22, 2005 Posted March 22, 2005 Hi all, I haven't posted in a while, been busy on my end. I have a question and I'd like to hear what everybody here thinks. A few months ago I met a girl, and let me tell you, when I tell you that I flipped for her would be an understatement. I was totally into this girl. We went out a few times, and then nothing. A few months ago, she was going through a lot and needed some time to herself, and I backed way off. We started chatting again last month and started talking again. She said she wanted to hang out, and that she enjoyed her time with me. Well before getting all into her again I decided to ask where her head was at. She told me that she doesn't see her and I as a couple, and that if we hang out it'll be just as friends, nothing more. It hurts a little to hear that, but better I know now rather than a few months from now, so I appreciate the honesty. I'm not sure if I can just see her as friends, and thinking if I should even contact her ever again because I know I'll always want to be more. OK, in the meantime, I haven't been sitting home by the phone. I've been dating around and been meeting some really nice girls. The only problem is, they're not this girl that I flipped over. I'm moving on, but I find myself comparing new girls I meet to this one girl. Honestly, I've only ever felt that kind of feeling a couple of times in life (it's not like I flip every time I meet a girl). So to get to the point, how do I do this? If I see her as friends I think that will hurt me more, but then again just turning my back and walking away will hurt a bit too. I know I'm doing the right thing by meeting other girls and keeping my options open...it's just that I don't flip like that every day, and it hurts like hell to think that nothing can ever happen with us. Anybody have some advice for me? Hunter
alphamale Posted March 22, 2005 Posted March 22, 2005 Originally posted by Huntr777 I know I'm doing the right thing by meeting other girls and keeping my options open...it's just that I don't flip like that every day, and it hurts like hell to think that nothing can ever happen with us. Anybody have some advice for me? well HUNTR777, both parties need to "flip" for anything to happen. Stay away from her and move on and whatever you do don't get sucked into the "friends" thing.
crazychick Posted March 22, 2005 Posted March 22, 2005 If she does not want to be with you like that, then you are doing the right thing by moving on. Except you are not really moving on. You are still hanging on to her by comparing these other girls to her. Which isn't fair to them or to you. You have got to find the right balance and put her in the past. And if that means not talking to her for right now, thats ok. Give it some time, really let go of her and then maybe in time you can really be friends.
Author Huntr777 Posted March 22, 2005 Author Posted March 22, 2005 Here's a follow up question for everybody...she wants to know how I feel...should I answer her, say to her I still want more and I know you don't so goodbye for now...or just let it lie and not say anything for now...? Hunter
alphamale Posted March 22, 2005 Posted March 22, 2005 Originally posted by Huntr777 Here's a follow up question for everybody...she wants to know how I feel...should I answer her, say to her I still want more and I know you don't so goodbye for now...or just let it lie and not say anything for now...? say nothing, do nothing. stay away! she is looking for an ego boost only. some women revel in the knowledge that all these men are interested in them but will never get anywhere.
WithOrWithoutYou Posted March 23, 2005 Posted March 23, 2005 Well, how long ago was it that she gave you the "just friends" speech? If it has been a while, people do occasionally change their minds about that, but don't count on it. If she wants an answer to her question, just say something like this. Say that like you told her a while back, you enjoy your time with her a lot, that you think she is a great person, and thought that it could be something more, but that if she does not feel that way, you completely repect her feelings about that, and that you hope you can be friends. See what she says. If what she says is not discouraging, go out once or twice more, and if she does not make clear that she has reconsidered her position, I would just fade out and stop contacting her. Too hard to be everyday friends with someone you have a thing for if it is not mutual.
RecordProducer Posted March 23, 2005 Posted March 23, 2005 Huntr, women sometimes need time to fall in love. A friend of mine hung around with her friend for months (even years maybe) before she fell in love with him, but they never started a relationship, because he had a GF. If a woman sees that you're great and into her she may fall in love head over heels after a while. However she may not move from the friendship point ever. It's up to you to listen to your gut and make the decision. We don't always bring the best decisions, but some things are worth trying. If you want to move on then yes, the best choice would probably be to avoid communication with her.
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