alpet Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 I'm 32, and she's 24. We have been dating for 2.5 months, but I feel something is not right. When I'm with her, it's ok but I don't really miss her when not together. Should I leave her? Thanks..
deathandtaxes Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 I'm 32, and she's 24. We have been dating for 2.5 months, but I feel something is not right. When I'm with her, it's ok but I don't really miss her when not together. Should I leave her? Thanks.. How much time do you two spend together?
Author alpet Posted December 15, 2014 Author Posted December 15, 2014 How much time do you two spend together? Well, we usually get together once a week. We used to text each other considerably, until last Friday, when I didn't feel like writing her anymore..
soph-walker Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 2.5 months is what some may call the 'honeymoon' period, which you're clearly not in. Just cut your losses and move on, better to be on your own than with someone for the sake of it. 1
Author alpet Posted December 15, 2014 Author Posted December 15, 2014 2.5 months is what some may call the 'honeymoon' period, which you're clearly not in. Just cut your losses and move on, better to be on your own than with someone for the sake of it. I guess you're right - it's time for me to end it. Thanks all of you for the advice..
xUnknown Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 I'm going to throw something into the mix.... Perhaps you're just not dependent on her. I've been on 2 dates with this one girl (about every 2 weeks due to holidays and plans). We'll snapchat here or there, same with texting, and phone calls to set up dates. But really, we don't text a whole lot. Sure, we're obviously both interested in one another, but I'll be honest, we don't text each other like I have with other girls. Perhaps its because this is the first girl I've dated since my 3 year long relationship, we're both out of college, full time jobs, pretty busy. I don't miss her, but I did enjoy my time with her and want to go out again. I think it just shows you're not dependent on her - which is a good thing. I think the real question here is, do you even want to go on another date with her?
Author alpet Posted December 15, 2014 Author Posted December 15, 2014 I'm going to throw something into the mix.... Perhaps you're just not dependent on her. I've been on 2 dates with this one girl (about every 2 weeks due to holidays and plans). We'll snapchat here or there, same with texting, and phone calls to set up dates. But really, we don't text a whole lot. Sure, we're obviously both interested in one another, but I'll be honest, we don't text each other like I have with other girls. Perhaps its because this is the first girl I've dated since my 3 year long relationship, we're both out of college, full time jobs, pretty busy. I don't miss her, but I did enjoy my time with her and want to go out again. I think it just shows you're not dependent on her - which is a good thing. I think the real question here is, do you even want to go on another date with her? Exactly! I'm wondering if I really want another date with her. The thing that really puts me off about her is that she often sounds to be rather narrow minded, and not understanding enough.
xUnknown Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 (edited) Exactly! I'm wondering if I really want another date with her. The thing that really puts me off about her is that she often sounds to be rather narrow minded, and not understanding enough. So get the date set up. As time goes on and gets closer, see if you're getting excited for it at all. Then if you have it, judge after the date. For me, A week or two again, I was like meh, I could go either way. I called her Friday, had tentative plans for Saturday, but I was excited hoping they'd work out - which was a good thing. We set things up for this Friday instead and I'm excited for them. So for me, that's how I know if I'm interested even if I'm not talking all the time with them. People can have busy schedules. I think if I were texting her all the time, for me, It would die down (just as it seemed for you). So this "not texting" as much thing is a good change of pace. It shows im independent and can be happy on my own. Perhaps its the same for you. I just figured I'd throw in another thought instead of the "end it". Edited December 15, 2014 by xUnknown 1
soph-walker Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 I'm going to throw something into the mix.... Perhaps you're just not dependent on her. I've been on 2 dates with this one girl (about every 2 weeks due to holidays and plans). We'll snapchat here or there, same with texting, and phone calls to set up dates. But really, we don't text a whole lot. Sure, we're obviously both interested in one another, but I'll be honest, we don't text each other like I have with other girls. Perhaps its because this is the first girl I've dated since my 3 year long relationship, we're both out of college, full time jobs, pretty busy. I don't miss her, but I did enjoy my time with her and want to go out again. I think it just shows you're not dependent on her - which is a good thing. I think the real question here is, do you even want to go on another date with her? Hmm this is a good point, but for me whole joy of getting to know a guy is wanting to see them/enjoying getting to know them and spend time with them. I know as you tend to get older and a little more jaded (haha) that it can take time to kindle a flame but I would suggest you go with your gut feeling. I you do however still feel like you could get to know her a bit more, maybe spend a longer amount of time together before you sack things off then I guess that could help you decide? Me personally, have dated guys I'm not that interested on when I was at uni, it was a waste of both of our times.
xUnknown Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 is wanting to see them/enjoying getting to know them and spend time with them. I you do however still feel like you could get to know her a bit more, maybe spend a longer amount of time together before you sack things off then I guess that could help you decide?. Not sure if this was in reference to me, or the OP....but... Oh I agree completely. Which was why the excitement of seeing her and going on a date is a good sign. I do feel I could. All we've done was kiss and a few brief make outs. I've learned to take things (ie: sex) slower, and thats the type she is too.
Author alpet Posted December 15, 2014 Author Posted December 15, 2014 So get the date set up. As time goes on and gets closer, see if you're getting excited for it at all. Then if you have it, judge after the date. For me, A week or two again, I was like meh, I could go either way. I called her Friday, had tentative plans for Saturday, but I was excited hoping they'd work out - which was a good thing. We set things up for this Friday instead and I'm excited for them. So for me, that's how I know if I'm interested even if I'm not talking all the time with them. People can have busy schedules. I think if I were texting her all the time, for me, It would die down (just as it seemed for you). So this "not texting" as much thing is a good change of pace. It shows im independent and can be happy on my own. Perhaps its the same for you. I just figured I'd throw in another thought instead of the "end it". Well, i'm on a much busier schedule than her - she works only 5 hours a day. Anyway, this is not the real point; it seems that I don't make any efforts to manage my time either, so as to see her. However, when I'm her, I feel things are good enough, though it's always me initiating physical contact. Now, I don't even feel like texting her!!
acrosstheuniverse Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 Well, i'm on a much busier schedule than her - she works only 5 hours a day. Anyway, this is not the real point; it seems that I don't make any efforts to manage my time either, so as to see her. However, when I'm her, I feel things are good enough, though it's always me initiating physical contact. Now, I don't even feel like texting her!! If you were truly into her, you'd be getting up three hours early to meet her for a coffee before work, planning your weekends around whether or not you get to hang out with her, etc. etc. You're not into her enough. 'Good enough' is not good enough for a relationship, especially at the beginning honeymoon period where you're supposed to be so engrossed in each other you can hardly hold back. If it's just 'okay' now, it's going to get worse over time. The most fiery, sparkiest, passionate, exciting relationships eventually end up comfortable. If it starts off 'meh', it's going to quickly become intolerable. And the not texting her? Nail in the coffin. If you're into someone you know full well that you're dying to hear from her, to send her tidbits from your day, to hear her voice on the phone. Anything less than this level of enthusiasm means you need to cut loose and both find someone who's crazy into you.
Author alpet Posted December 16, 2014 Author Posted December 16, 2014 That's the point. Well, we met again today, and told her it was time for both of us to move on separate ways..
Eighty_nine Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 That's the point. Well, we met again today, and told her it was time for both of us to move on separate ways.. How'd she respond- was she feeling the same way as you were?
Recommended Posts