Zard0z Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 X, It's been 3 mos. Three cold, tough months filled with self-doubt, shame, reflection, confusion, anxiety and growth. I do feel more centered than I did a few weeks ago, and I hope my limited attempts at contact and gestures toward friendliness weren't taken the wrong way. But it doesn't matter what you think anymore. Regardless of what my own confused intentions may be, I really must stop it. I'm in a new relationship now and I can't jeopardize it or hurt her. I don't think I can get you out of my head so easily. But I can at least recognize the reality that YOU are not coming back. there is no burden on me to please you anymore. There is no burden on me to prove to you that I'm not the person I think you thought I was (what a mouthful). I don't need to know about you or your new relationship. And I honestly can so for once that I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW. I need to work on me now (like I have been doing since before and after the breakup) You are not coming back. That relationship is far gone now. We changed so much, not even in bad ways, but we changed. From now on, when I think of you, I will remind myself of the following: "Its over." "I'm free." "I don't have to please you." "I don't have to care about you." I'll be fine as long as I continue to work on the person I want to be. There is a lot more to life in front of me. I can go out and grab it. I won't let my past selves get in the way of all the things I want to do and try. I will be focused. I will be strong. I won't let the fear of letting go control me. I can move, am moving, and will move on. With a fond memory of what once was, but without a longing pulling me back there and dragging me down. 1
CurlyTraveller Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 X, "Its over." "I'm free." "I don't have to please you." "I don't have to care about you." Wonderful. Think I'll repeat these to myself whenever I feel like contacting her again.
DarKnight804 Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 I am two months in and I love her and her son so much still.....I feel tears building up of what I thought the future had in store for me. I read your post and feel somewhat better. Thank you.
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