JohnMatthews3345 Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 Well starting off I met this girl around two years ago this month, for a good portion of the first year things couldn't be better, we connected on such a close level we told each other stuff we don't tell many of our closest friends and family, I even managed to come see her around five times that year even though she lives pretty far from where I live. Anyway, around May this year things were kind of on the downturn, not to say we weren't talking often or really there was a huge fight, but we were both dealing with a lot of different things. Skip about a week or two, I approached her to ask a few things as we haven't spoken in about a week, to say the least things exploded and she ended up blocking me on everything, we later became friends again about a month later but there was still a odd feeling about things, even that I was never unblocked on Facebook. Skip to around October I have still not been unblocked, we don't really speak as much as we have done before, instead of being the close friend I was it was really I was there now and again on some matters she did want to talk to someone about, even I stopped coming to her for any help I needed, we kind of just drifted apart but kept as friends. Then around a week and a bit ago she asked a friend if she wanted to hang out that weekend which then I was brought up asking if she was happy I came along, she said yes but we later had to cancel, but I was unblocked at least, so that was a positive sign things were looking up, I sent her a friend request then just sat on it while I talked to her on instant messaging. Anyway, when she started using Skype again not long after (pretty much a few days after) I was deleted quietly, even unfollowed on Instagram, but we kept talking like nothing even happened, I never really brought it up. Then, earlier today I logged in to see I had a notification then find nothing, I look on her Facebook and instead of "Friend Request Sent" it read "Add Friend", so she probably added then deleted me rather oddly. I don't really understand it, from all of that I can take the notion that she wants nothing to do with me, but whenever I'm brought up to her by a friend she always tends to speak highly of me like I am a great guy, even when say I make a joke such as for example tease her by saying I'm going to push her over or attack her with ductape we do joke back and forth, I just don't necessarily understand why that is if she's doing all the other things. What's everybody's thoughts?
whichwayisup Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 It is possible she thinks you 'like' her and maybe she has a boyfriend? I say next time you see her, just tell her how you feel and ask her why she's gone to such lengths to avoid you online. Ask if you've done something wrong. She owes you an explanation. It is odd behaviour. Is there more to this story that you're not letting on? Why did she 'explode' on you? 1
Author JohnMatthews3345 Posted December 14, 2014 Author Posted December 14, 2014 It is possible she thinks you 'like' her and maybe she has a boyfriend? I say next time you see her, just tell her how you feel and ask her why she's gone to such lengths to avoid you online. Ask if you've done something wrong. She owes you an explanation. It is odd behaviour. Is there more to this story that you're not letting on? Why did she 'explode' on you? I honestly don't think she does, we've never really considered eachother to be possible dates and really we are just usually quite teasing towards one another, if anything I'm usually treating her the same I've always treated her. I'll do that, we haven't seen eachother in about a year (Money issues) but we do talk casually on some messenger apps everyday or so, there's really not much if not any explanation to why she's removed me like that, but I will try to bring it up later even though most of the time she doesn't like when I do try to sit her down for a serious conversation. I've told all that I think is relevant, I do know from past experience to what she told me about a year ago that she does tend to push people away sometimes even without meaning to, she was sexually assaulted more than two years ago by her first boyfriend and quite a few of her friends don't really take that much interest in her, but at the same time I don't think it would explain why after about being close friends for a year things would be as they are, she's always said I'm an "Amazing guy" and she loves everything I've done for her, I honestly don't think she's the type of girl to use anybody either.. It could be she's downright scared, or it could be something else, I really don't know. Well it was my fault that she did explode on me the way she did, with everything that was going on she had a lot to work through but I was pushing a little much, even a bit snappy, until we started fighting. But, even when we were talking again things were back to normal within a week, we always talked on Facebook but we made do on small messenger apps, I didn't feel that I should keep trying to ask for her to unblock me when I was still trying to build things up to a good position.
Author JohnMatthews3345 Posted December 14, 2014 Author Posted December 14, 2014 Slight update, I forgot to mention lately I introduced her to a number of close friends that do know of the current situation (One of them was the girl she asked if they could meet up a while ago I mentioned about), and earlier today we said to her that if she doesn't mind we're going to move the conversation over to facebook as it's easier, after about a hour on the matter to say the least still nothing. As she said: "My facebook is ****, It never works, I don't get notifications or friend requests :/ doesn't let me send them either most of the time aha" even though since I last checked her facebook nearly a month ago she's got 9 new friends, so there must be something that's up. I even tried to send her a friend request and she said "I haven't got anything :s" then it went back to "Add Friend", the day she unblocked me I added her straight away and it remained "Friend Request Sent" for almost a week. She went off and back but not really continuing on conversation, I heard from the other friends that have set up a group chat with her over Facebook, I have the chance to be added in but if I do there's a chance she'll just go even more odd with the whole facebook thing. Then, I heard from my other friend about 30ish minutes ago that she sent her a message (Around a hour after she came back might I add) and nothing, she never responded, even though she is online. (I've said to just leave her alone for now anyway) This is really starting to bug me. I plan to ask her directly if there actually is something she's avoiding me for because I don't think her facebook is playing up, I don't believe half of what's actually been said especially when I've been removed from skype and Instagram too. Ideas?
whichwayisup Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 So she is only avoiding you online but not face to face? Focus more on face to face then. For whatever reason she doesn't want you seeing her online activity or personal stuff. I'd let it go for a while and try not to let it fester and upset you so much. Too close to the holidays to be worrying and feeling blah over this so called friend. Focus on your closer friends and those who you know well.
Sugarkane Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 Sounds extremely odd. You introduce her to your friends and then she blocks you and cuts you off. WTF? Have you asked her friends why? She sounds like a friend poacher- someone who steals people's friends.
Author JohnMatthews3345 Posted December 16, 2014 Author Posted December 16, 2014 So she is only avoiding you online but not face to face? Focus more on face to face then. For whatever reason she doesn't want you seeing her online activity or personal stuff. I'd let it go for a while and try not to let it fester and upset you so much. Too close to the holidays to be worrying and feeling blah over this so called friend. Focus on your closer friends and those who you know well. Well, we haven't seen eachother in person since last year but I can guess she is avoiding me in person too with things as they are, she hasn't necessarily given me a straight answer on anything, even for the past three days she's been so different with me. That's what I'm going to do, I don't understand really any of her behavior to make sense of it, one moment she's happily making jokes and the next all "Haha xD" with anything I say, I'm considering just throwing everything out altogether and giving up. Sounds extremely odd. You introduce her to your friends and then she blocks you and cuts you off. WTF? Have you asked her friends why? She sounds like a friend poacher- someone who steals people's friends. Well I was blocked months before I introduced them to her, I'm not sure if I made the story understandable but at the time I was blocked we didn't really have any mutual friends between us, my friends I introduced knew about her but never spoke, but I don't get how nearly a month ago she was all happy about the concept of meeting up with me and a friend to, well, this. I just don't get it, at first she treats me that I am a friend to her, the next it's like I can't even crack a joke to her, I even feel like sometimes she's just avoiding telling me why instead of giving me an answer.. Like much with the Instagram thing; I prodded yesterday when she briefly mentioned it if she saw my last photo, she said which photo, then just changes topic altogether, and it annoys me seeing there's no signals or anything I just tend to just expect it now. I just don't understand what exactly I do need to do. :/
melodicintention Posted December 19, 2014 Posted December 19, 2014 Why are you judging this person more by their online activities than their real life activities? If you use Facebook to measure true friendships/relationships with people you are in for a sorry sad life. Why aren't you asking her in real life, "why am I blocked on your Facebook?" if this person is speaking about you in a positive tone? Maybe she forgot she did it, or inadvertently blocked you (fat fingers for example on the smart phone, it happens dude) and isn't even aware of the fact. I unfollow people all the time on FB because their posts are stupid, but I'm still their friend in real life. Facebook, instagram, all that BS isn't a true measure of friendship. Ask yourself, what did people do loooooong before the internet to judge if a person was a friend? (hint, it's called "verbal communication" on the phone or in person). We anonymous loveshackers can't answer what's up with this girl, only she can. So freaking ASK HER so you can get over it and move on with your life.
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