JMOC Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Hi I know this is going to be quite a long thing so hopefully there will be some people like myself that will actually read these. I will try to put it in paragraphs so its easier to read . So at the start of this year I started getting close with a girl and courted for a couple of months just trying to get close with her. Things were awesome we talked loads and well it was good. In about May things progressed and we started seeing each other we were intimate all the time. Spoke even more. Saw each other all the time. And also worked near each other with no problem. A few months in things still going great she was asking me what we were and due to me not wanting to freak her out I just said it was fun and we were seeing eachother etc... She has latter told me that she was asking this because at the time she wanted more but I never said. Anyway I started to have some real rough family issues and my mum is really sick. With no way of excusing myself I got needy. I questioned her I never just saw for what it was and how good we was (she is quite an inside person so doesn't show a lot of feelings all the time) So cut on after a couple of months and she said that she just wasnt wanting anything at the moment and that she wanted to be single and find out who she was etc.. I didnt take this well and again got more needs doing all the usual pretty much begging for more etc.... Clearly I got nowhere. She always used to say that she still liked me and I used to joke that I would still be able to kiss her etc... and I would be able too. She agreed. Anyway about 4 weeks ago we were all out and long story short she spent the night with me and then the next day we just cuddled and watched movies. Instead of just being cool about it I pressured the next few days asking for more etc... Jump to last week and I found out that actually her and my housemate and friend are really close and although have not been in contact are real close and were flirting texting loads etc.... I didnt take this bad and went off the rails at him and said some silly things. Plus said some open truths to her that I knew about him (which I never should have said). I thought we were good and just being friends and trying. But went a bit silly and saw that they were always sending pics on snap chat. I asked my housemate he got defensive and told her. She also questioned the things I told her about him and of course he denied and now she just sees me for a liar. Last night I said I should back off and she has asked me too for a few days as she needs to clear her head. I know him and her are close but also I don't see it going any where as one my housemate has said it was too much drama and in a few weeks he will be moving over an hour away into London. Now here comes my problem. I know this girl is something more to me and I saw something great in us I just damaged it. I am not a child and have been in relationships before and being nearer to 30 I know when something is worth it. The question I have is if this girl is and always has been open and honest. She is saying she needs the time etc... Which I will now do as much as it eats me up. Do I have any chance of reconcile after all that I have done? I will do everything to get her back as a friend in my life and then try. Has anyone had this situation or seen anything similar? Thanks for reading this i know I have put a lot
Author JMOC Posted December 14, 2014 Author Posted December 14, 2014 **** UPDATE **** she is now posting things online that are clearly about him. I am trying everything to stop myself reading this way. But there are things about distance meaning nothing which clearly references to him. I don't understand how she can be this way. They hardly spoke before and now suddenly are seeming like its a serious thing. I know it seems stupid and I should just forget about her but I cant as I know what she means. I am putting this here instead of messaging her or something as a vent spot I guess. I just wonder if anyone is or has been in a similar situation?
Elle1975 Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 Well, you first told her what you two had was basically "some fun", then you did a 180 and became needy. Unfortunately there is no going back from that. Since you aren't together, so she pretty much is free to do whatever she wants. What I'd do is walk away with my dignity intact, no need to start messaging her. I'd say, next time you meet a nice girl, make sure not to answer "we're having fun, we'll see where it goes", because what it really means is "I don't want anything serious". You won't freak anybody out by putting your cards on the table. The dating period isn't a binding contract.
Author JMOC Posted December 14, 2014 Author Posted December 14, 2014 I understand totally and well I just never say what it was. I have realised what she is and how much she means. And I know I showed it to her I just never said it. I just cant get the thought out of my mind that eventually I could kindle something again. She still cares and feels for me. I just took some other parts. Which anyone would be able to build again. I know it sounds foolish and ridiculous but its almost a mechanism for coping with the pain i guess
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