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is it ok to contact the guy first?


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Posted

Ok, two weeks ago I kissed and slept beside (without sex) an old but casual friend (we aren't close). He lives out of town but told me he would be in town the 14th and we talked about meeting up.

 

we haven't spoken since then and the 14 is tomorow. Should I msg him and ask if he's still coming in and try to make plans? If he wants to see me he'd get in touch, right?

Posted

You haven't talked with him for two weeks? Not even some text messages between you two? Well, it's water under the bridge at this point. Just call him and ask him about tomorrow. There is nothing wrong with taking the initiative, but since he didn't even reach out to you, he's probably not serious about you.

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Posted

You can, it won't hurt, if he's just a friend than go ahead, I don't see a problem.

Posted

There is absolutely nothing wrong in ever contacting a guy first. I hate this idea of "if he's really into you he'll do all the chasing". There could be any number of reasons why a guy hasn't contacted you first, and if he does like you he will not be put off by you making a move. Plus if he's not really into you, you can find out and move on. Win win situation.

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Posted

Yep if he wanted to see you and talk with you and meet you again he would have gotten in touch.

 

Now it'll just be you chasing after him. A guy that is into you just doesn't disappear like that...so either accept it for what it is or chase him down.

 

But if I we're you, that's all the answer I'd need.

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Posted

You really have nothing to lose.

 

Rejection is better than regret.

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  • Author
Posted

Initially I wasn't concerned, we never comumicated regularly before and I am not really into casual internet chats, I just use it to arrange things in real life. Also he doesn't have a cell phone so I'll have to email.

 

but not letting me know if he is in town today is so annoying

Now I'm not so sure he even said the 14th

 

 

Will emailing him make me less attractive to him?

Posted

No you will not seem less attractive because this will be the only message you guys have exchanged since two weeks. Go email him, ask what his plans are.

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Posted

It's always OK to go after what you want.

 

 

One message seeking info -- are you going to be in town? Do you want to get together? is not desperate.

 

 

Two weeks ago after we slept in the same bed you said you'd call me when you were in town but I haven't heard from you. I really need to know if you still like me & I really really want to see you because I have missed you
so
terribly & I'
m
not sure I will be able to stop crying if you don't respond to this message in 4.6 seconds

 

Now that would be desperate.

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Posted

I'm not opposed to sex. I am excited to get to know him in a new way, learn a little more about him and also be physicaly intimate.

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Posted

I emailed him:

 

Hey! Were you saying you were going to be in t.o today? I forget. If you are in the city we should meet up.

 

"

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Posted
I emailed him:

 

Hey! Were you saying you were going to be in t.o today? I forget. If you are in the city we should meet up.

 

"

 

It's a good message. But, if he doesn't have a cell phone, how will he read the email in time?

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