jadesr Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 okay bit of a long story but please read and help me out. so for 3 months i had been talking to and seeing this guy i fell for him and I think I love him and I thought he fell for me too in what he told me he really liked me, and we have mutual friends and he told them that soon he was going to ask me out. The day before he broke it off with me he was out my house and everything felt perfect he acted the same around me as he usually did and we were cuddling and we made out and stuff like usual and when he left he texted me saying today was perfect thank you and asked me to go to his house on thursday. But that night he was with his friends (one of his friends whom was dating my best friend). he texted me that night and everything still seemed normal but the next day my best friends boyfriend who he had been with that night dumped her ( because he didnt want to commit he wanted the freedom to hook up with girls) and my guy was being blunt to me and i asked what was wrong and he told me he just wasnt feeling it anymore and didnt want anything but said he still wanted to "be my friend" and he could never hate me (but i know all that i want to be friends is bull****) . But I then found out through mutual friends that the real reason is because he liked another girl and she told him she liked him back so he left me for her. She is rather sluttish she has hooked up with so many guys and I know I am better than her. They are in college together at the same school so it makes it harder for me. I just dont understand because it was so out of the blue I mean we were just together the day before being as cute as we always have been. He thinks he never lead me on but clearly he did so bad! I am so distraught i have hardly eaten for the 4 days because i feel really insecure because this new girl is skinnier than me. I just dont understand how this happened and I want him back more than anything in the world! Everything in my house reminds me of him and I cant stop thinking about him and giving up my hopes on him realising he regrets the decision he made. I have been crying non stop for the 4 days and I feel like i have been going through this depressing state for ages but then i realise its only been 4 days and i dont know how much longer this pain is going to last. I know it was only 3 months but i literally feel like he is the only one for me and i cannot be with anyone else. What should I do?
StalwartMind Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 If you want to call the girl he hooked up with for being "slutty" because she has hooked up with so many guys, then I guess the guy you are fawning over is a bit of a male slut, since he so easily jumps ship too. It's really not nice to call someone names, or think yourself better than others because of the amount of partners one have been with. What is the exact number that makes one be a "slut" etc. is it 10,20? I'm sure you get the idea what I'm getting at here, it's all comes down to personal opinion. You can judge others as much as you want to, but it doesn't make you look good if you do so with skewed double standard. This is not a personal attack on you, more often than not people don't really look at things from other perspectives than their own. So if you can understand above then you'll realize that you are putting him on an undeserved pedestal. If you appreciate people that are loyal and show commitment, then you should pursue such a guy. I most certainly seek the company of people that have interest in something that lasts. Some people are hooked on the "honey moon" stage of experiences, and everything to them becomes a novelty that soon wears off. Others like things completely opposite and to them things just get better and better with time. Don't compare yourself to other girls ever, nothing good comes out of that, it's a path that only leads to doubt and misery. A true partner and friend will appreciate and value you for who you are. You can find a much better man out there who will show you and make you feel he is right for you and actually deserve a place next to you. In your process of recovering over this guy, you need to tell yourself you can be better, and will be better next time. There is nothing to feel bad about even if it has "just" been 3 month, that doesn't mean your pain isn't any more real than someone else. It would be easy to tell you, you are young, most people do not have a clue what they want, especially with relationships, but even if that might often be the case, that is no reason not to start looking for the right things that will do you the best. Use all resources you have available to you, to take your mind of this guy. Maybe you can move on with the help from your family, friends and hobbies but if not then consider seeking professional help that can get you back on track again.
Author jadesr Posted December 14, 2014 Author Posted December 14, 2014 but she is 16 and has sex with multiple guys at parties. But i totally understand what you are saying and I dont bad mouth her to anyone else because I know that that will just make myself look bad. When he broke it off with me I got a little angry with him, I didnt fully go off at him but I was just kinda questioning him why he would lead me on for 3 months if he never really wanted me and why he would see me the previous day if he knew he was going to break it off to me. He just saw all my messages but didnt reply. I then sent one saying dont ever try and talk to me again, I dont want to stay friends with someone who'd do this to me. he never replied to any of my messages but i know he saw them, should I keep the no contact rule and dont contact him at all or apologize for getting angry? I think i just want an excuse to talk to him
devilish innocent Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 You don't owe him an apology for anything. He's moved on. You're the one that's hurting. For your own sake, you really need to stop messaging him. Find something else to do. But don't give in to the temptation to contact him in any way shape or form. It will only make things worse for you if you do.
Author jadesr Posted December 15, 2014 Author Posted December 15, 2014 okay i know its not a good idea to contact him at all but i just want to talk to him:(. Do you reckon that there is any possible chance he might regret his choice and want to come back to me?
Satu Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 (edited) okay i know its not a good idea to contact him at all but i just want to talk to him:(. Do you reckon that there is any possible chance he might regret his choice and want to come back to me? No. It's over. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you will start to get over him. Eat enough and eat healthily. Drink enough water. Get enough sleep and rest. Take some easy exercise. Keep up with all your responsibilities and things you have to do. Don't spend too much time alone, and seek the company of safe people. Cut all contact with him, either direct, through others, and via social media. Block his number. Edited December 15, 2014 by Satu
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