Playing Online Creeper Detective

[Gloria25]

Me too. Couldn't care less if someone finds me. I protect what I post and I don't post anything I wouldn't want read out loud in court

 

Yep, and they'll even ask the court for you to give them your passwords - so even your private stuff can be exploited. But, then you can probably argue relevance.

[smg15]

But, then how can people you "want" to look you up actually will be able to look you up? Some women even hyphenate their last names just in case people are searching for them under their maiden name.

 

BTW, I'm not worried about Facebook and/or LinkedIn, cuz I watch what I put on there....

 

I have enough FB friends so I was never concerned about if someone could not find me. That's the way I prefer it

[bu2002]

I believe the google stalking process can hinder the emotional connection one can make with a potential partner. There's a lot of information you can learn about someone online, and I think it takes away from the interpersonal experience as you're not finding these things out via conversation. Emotional connections are built through this conversation and not digitally.

 

Part of the fun of dating a new partner is uncovering this information though drinks, dinner, walks in the park, etc and it's geninue conversation that builds and ellicits storytelling, etc. You're then caught having a fake conversation as you already discovered certain facts, but have to play it off like it's new information.

 

About the only background check I would do is any sort of criminal check and/or if you have the ability to verify current marriage status or if they've been divorced.

[MissBee]

I don't generally do that, no. I'd only think of doing it if something felt off about what they were telling me, like if they said they worked at a certain place, do a certain job or something like that but it felt off then I'd Google them to see if they are in fact associated with what they say they are. Otherwise, no. If nothing is blaring as a red flag, I assume I'll come to find things out as we date and as I feel them out can decide if I want to proceed or not. If I see red flags I don't bother to Google them as usually I don't need Google to tell me to not proceed with someone who feels off to me.

[preraph]

A woman has to be crazy to meet up with a stranger knowing full well that bad guys know exactly what to say to get them to do so. Of course, you should do what research you can and even invest in a background check online to find out what they've been arrested for, etc., and of course any other info that could affect you. Though men are in far less physical danger, they are in danger of being milked for money and gifts, so I can't blame them for looking also. Keep your info to yourself on this one. Now, 10 years ago, I was meeting a guy in Europe I knew from a music fan board. I knew others had met him, so was fairly comfortable, but nonetheless I looked at anything I could find, and when i found an inmate in the same state he was in with the same name he had, I asked him about it. He wasn't happy, but he got over it. In the process of looking for stuff on him and talking to him about doing so, I found out he likes to stay well under the radar and one reason he was upset is because he didn't want anyone to be able to track him down. He was working for a company owned by a friend and was evading paying child support that way. I wasn't interested romantically anyway, but there's a lot you can find out if you do some digging.

 

I had a car wreck in August where a lady in a van in front of me busted a completely whacko move in a school zone. Later that day, out of custom, I did a quick internet search on her which told me she was a sex offender still on probation. It never hurts to look.

 

If you suspect someone isn't who their photo looks like it is, do Google Image search with that photo and see what it turns up. Might find out the 25 year old is really 50. Saw an episode of Steve Harvey just last night about that and he could tell all kinds of things from what was in the background of the photo and asking the right questions. One guys said he was 25 and had a young photo up but an old wall phone in the background. He told the girl to ask the right questions to find out if his age is correct, like what tv shows did you watch as a kid. Another guy bragged that he made $200,000 a year but then upon her asking some questions about where he lived, he slipped and mentioned his multiple roommates and an apartment. You wouldn't live in an apt with 3 other guys if you make $200K a year.

 

Don't feel bad. Just don't embarrass him with the info, but use it to make your decisions about him.

[smg15]

A woman has to be crazy to meet up with a stranger knowing full well that bad guys know exactly what to say to get them to do so. Of course, you should do what research you can and even invest in a background check online to find out what they've been arrested for, etc., and of course any other info that could affect you. Though men are in far less physical danger, they are in danger of being milked for money and gifts, so I can't blame them for looking also. Keep your info to yourself on this one. Now, 10 years ago, I was meeting a guy in Europe I knew from a music fan board. I knew others had met him, so was fairly comfortable, but nonetheless I looked at anything I could find, and when i found an inmate in the same state he was in with the same name he had, I asked him about it. He wasn't happy, but he got over it. In the process of looking for stuff on him and talking to him about doing so, I found out he likes to stay well under the radar and one reason he was upset is because he didn't want anyone to be able to track him down. He was working for a company owned by a friend and was evading paying child support that way. I wasn't interested romantically anyway, but there's a lot you can find out if you do some digging.

 

I had a car wreck in August where a lady in a van in front of me busted a completely whacko move in a school zone. Later that day, out of custom, I did a quick internet search on her which told me she was a sex offender still on probation. It never hurts to look.

 

If you suspect someone isn't who their photo looks like it is, do Google Image search with that photo and see what it turns up. Might find out the 25 year old is really 50. Saw an episode of Steve Harvey just last night about that and he could tell all kinds of things from what was in the background of the photo and asking the right questions. One guys said he was 25 and had a young photo up but an old wall phone in the background. He told the girl to ask the right questions to find out if his age is correct, like what tv shows did you watch as a kid. Another guy bragged that he made $200,000 a year but then upon her asking some questions about where he lived, he slipped and mentioned his multiple roommates and an apartment. You wouldn't live in an apt with 3 other guys if you make $200K a year.

 

Don't feel bad. Just don't embarrass him with the info, but use it to make your decisions about him.

 

I hate steve harvey and it's mainly because of this statement right here to women

 

 

"It's not your job to impress him, it's his job to impress you?"

 

 

Umm what? lol

[Ninjainpajamas]

Creepy @ss internet people

[truth_seeker]

 

There was a Seinfeld sorta like this where he didn't get some chick's number, but knew where she worked. So a guy suggested he hang around the lobby in the building around the time she got off. He didn't wanna do it at first, but he eventually did it. There was another episode where he got a chick's tel off of a list of walkers for raising money for a charity.

 

I remember those episodes! He was nervous the whole time that she knew how he got her number, but at the end of the show she's like it was no big deal... and he got freaked when he found her closet full of sponge boxes. lol.

 

Anyway, I kinda did the same thing... I FB'd a girl (got her name from a co-worker). Didn't work... but I figured it was FB and couldn't hurt to try.

[lino]

What a sad state that things have turned into.

 

Getting to know someone through human interaction is a thing of the past I guess.

 

I've never stalked anyone online and never will. Guess I have much less time on my hands than some.

[Gloria25]

What a sad state that things have turned into.

 

Getting to know someone through human interaction is a thing of the past I guess.

 

I've never stalked anyone online and never will. Guess I have much less time on my hands than some.

 

I agree - but this is the world we live in.

 

While I understand you're not gonna tell people "everything" about you - cuz not all of your likes/dislikes and/or history is relevant to your dating, but still, IMO, lots of people perpetrating a fraud out there.

 

Again, like I said, back in the day you had family and/or friends that would do the vetting or referral about someone to you. We don't really have that now a days.

[shet]

Guess I have much less time on my hands than some.

 

>Posts this on internet relationship forum where he has 1400 posts, avatar and signature

[FitChick]

I believe the google stalking process can hinder the emotional connection one can make with a potential partner. There's a lot of information you can learn about someone online, and I think it takes away from the interpersonal experience as you're not finding these things out via conversation. Emotional connections are built through this conversation and not digitally.

 

Part of the fun of dating a new partner is uncovering this information though drinks, dinner, walks in the park, etc and it's geninue conversation that builds and ellicits storytelling, etc. You're then caught having a fake conversation as you already discovered certain facts, but have to play it off like it's new information.

I experienced this when I briefly dated a somewhat famous person. I knew everything about him, his parents, his siblings, classmates, work, etc. It meant we couldn't really talk about his past so that left the present and future. Beyond illegal acts or to verify marital status, it's more fun to let things unfold. Sort of like the difference between unwrapping a Christmas present before Christmas.

[GravityMan]

If the information about a person is publicly accessible, including LinkedIn, Twitter, unprotected personal Facebook profile (only an idiot would do that BTW), etc...then everyone else in the world has the right to access and view that info, and can make any judgments that they see fit. There is no reason to feel regret or shame about it. Doing a Google search on someone is not an invasion of privacy.

 

If that person doesn't want others snooping on his or her digital trail, then he should take steps to secure that trail...privacy settings, etc. Just be aware of any potential drawbacks (esp. for LinkedIn).

 

Now if you're hacking into his personal computer and reading his emails / IM chat logs...or snooping on his phone, then that's going overboard.

 

In any case, I don't recommend getting paranoid over this. A bit of Googling is fine, but allow for some mystery. Part of the fun of dating (or getting to know anyone) is that sense of pleasant surprise and discovery from that person revealing some awesome thing about himself or some experience of his.

[Gloria25]

If the information about a person is publicly accessible, including LinkedIn, Twitter, unprotected personal Facebook profile (only an idiot would do that BTW), etc...then everyone else in the world has the right to access and view that info, and can make any judgments that they see fit. There is no reason to feel regret or shame about it. Doing a Google search on someone is not an invasion of privacy.

 

If that person doesn't want others snooping on his or her digital trail, then he should take steps to secure that trail...privacy settings, etc. Just be aware of any potential drawbacks (esp. for LinkedIn).

 

Now if you're hacking into his personal computer and reading his emails / IM chat logs...or snooping on his phone, then that's going overboard.

 

In any case, I don't recommend getting paranoid over this. A bit of Googling is fine, but allow for some mystery. Part of the fun of dating (or getting to know anyone) is that sense of pleasant surprise and discovery from that person revealing some awesome thing about himself or some experience of his.

 

Thank you ^^....I believe you hit the nail on the head....

 

IMO, hacking into computers, sending them spyware and/or downloading some program or app to their computer and/or celphone is the equivalent of going through their garbage.

 

I've heard stories of people who downloaded apps to stranger's phones (one guy worked in a cellular phone store) to stalk people. I also had a gf with an abusive husband and she was so "jolly" when he got her a new celphone. I just rolled my eyes, cuz I bet ya he put some tracking device on that cellular phone.

[truth_seeker]

If the information about a person is publicly accessible, including LinkedIn, Twitter, unprotected personal Facebook profile (only an idiot would do that BTW), etc...then everyone else in the world has the right to access and view that info, and can make any judgments that they see fit. There is no reason to feel regret or shame about it. Doing a Google search on someone is not an invasion of privacy.

 

If that person doesn't want others snooping on his or her digital trail, then he should take steps to secure that trail...privacy settings, etc. Just be aware of any potential drawbacks (esp. for LinkedIn).

 

Now if you're hacking into his personal computer and reading his emails / IM chat logs...or snooping on his phone, then that's going overboard.

 

In any case, I don't recommend getting paranoid over this. A bit of Googling is fine, but allow for some mystery. Part of the fun of dating (or getting to know anyone) is that sense of pleasant surprise and discovery from that person revealing some awesome thing about himself or some experience of his.

 

I agree with you.

 

Googling someone is fine. Any info on the net is for the whole world to see so you're not invading someone's privacy. If they don't want info out there, then it's up to the person to remove it.

 

I still say it's smart to do a basic search to make sure the person you're interested in doesn't have a criminal history or some crazy past.