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Playing Online Creeper Detective

Danda

By Danda
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Danda Established Member

Danda

Posted
Posted

So I'm one of those people who doesn't mind confessing that I search for online trails of prospective dating partners. Yes, yes I know I'm a paranoid creeper (or something) but I do it.

 

Been messaging with a guy from OLD, moved to texting and soon to be phone conversation. So far I must admit I'm interested. Our sense of humor seems to line up, we have several common interests, neither of us is looking to move fast or serious in the least, and he wears glasses, which is practically a fetish of mine.

 

So yesterday I did my creepy internet detective work, and I found a post he made this year (but several months back) on a website similar to BackPage, asking for an escort to take his virginity.

 

My reaction to it is that I thought it was cute and a bit humorous, not in a mocking sort of way, but just a straight up kind of way. I kind of have that twisted dormant femdom streak anyway, so if anything my inner warped self is just like muahahahaha a virgin. (Assuming he didn't actually get free sex without even posting his photo, or get kicked off the site for asking escorts to take his virginity.)

 

But then at the same time I feel bad, because I know even though it was out there for the whole world to see, it's still that invasive sort of guilt, and of course I won't bring it up unless we've eventually known each other for years or something.

 

Anyone else here do this sort of preliminary snooping and willing to admit it? Ever feel bad after? Ever find anything crazy? Stories?

dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

Posted
Posted

And here I was really hoping Online Creeper Detective was a game for internet psychos so tgey could occupy themselves.

 

Like sort of a "stalker patch."

 

:(

  • Like 1
truth_seeker Established Member

truth_seeker

Posted
Posted

Anyone else here do this sort of preliminary snooping and willing to admit it? Ever feel bad after? Ever find anything crazy? Stories?

 

Yes. Do it all the time. Why not? The information is right there at your finger tips. I look at it as doing my homework.

 

I go to Google and see what comes up. Any criminal records or court issues. If that pans out and they're clean, I go to linkedin to see what they do for work. I also check out Facebook.

 

I think it's smart if you use the information for the right purposes.

  • Like 3
Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
Posted

Yeah, I'm ashamed to say I do it too.

 

I mean, I don't feel bad if the information is public - even on Facebook. Cuz, IMO, they make it public - not you.

 

Back in the day, families would set up marriages for you and hopefully, they'd use their wisdom and guidance to check the guy out and set you up with a good guy. Also, guys would have to go through your father - who was sitting on the front porch with a shot gun (ok, joking here) - before he could even get you on a date.

 

So, now that we don't have that, yes, you really need to do your homework. I was watching 48 Hours the other day and this chick met this guy in a AA group. Little did she know he was an ex-con with an extensive criminal record and he used AA groups to "pick up" desperate and/or needy chicks. Well, he ended up killing her. I've also heard of guys going to church to use the guise of church to pick up "good girls" too.

 

I'm pretty ashamed of the research I've done on my latest crush - but glad I did. I mean, finding out he's been holding a flame for some toxic, manipulative, skank of an ex - while still involved with another chick - answered a lot of questions for me. I would have never known that if I didn't do my homework.

 

Now, you can't trust everything you see online. And, you don't always know the "whole" story. I mean, my fav podcaster gets calls from women who say they find out a guy was on a sex predator registry when all he did was have sex with 16 yr old when he was 18. Something wrong by law, but happens every bleepin' day (two teenagers having sex). It's not like he was raping three year olds.

 

But, I still am gonna continue to do my homework. While I may still give the person an opportunity to see if what I found out matches up - at least I have "some" chance of making sure they are who they say they are. I used to like that about one of my past jobs. I'd just be sitting across from the table, I already saw their file, and when I ask them questions - I already know the answer, but am waiting to see if they're gonna dig a bigger whole for themselves. Also, I have a stronger case if they "admit" to what I already found out about them. ;)

  • Like 3
sillyanswer Established Member

sillyanswer

Posted
Posted

Anyone else here do this sort of preliminary snooping and willing to admit it? Ever feel bad after? Ever find anything crazy? Stories?

 

I only go as far as seeing if anything they've told me matches anything I can find out easily... and since I try not to have long conversations before a first meeting that isn't usually very much. The main thing I do is a google image search (or TinEye) for their photos, primarily to see if I believe that they really are their photos and not the photos of some actress from the Philippines (as per one recent example) or a body-building fitness instructor from California (another recent example).

 

I don't feel bad, because it means I don't waste time on someone trying to catfish me or on someone using 'fake' photos for some other reason. I then hit the 'report' button on whichever dating site I'm using.

 

One (the person using the Filipino actress photos) even had the cheek to ask how I found out. I declined to explain.

Frank2thepoint Established Member

Frank2thepoint

Posted
Posted
he wears glasses, which is practically a fetish of mine.

 

Well, I'm throwing my glasses away. I don't need to see anyway. :laugh:

 

 

Anyone else here do this sort of preliminary snooping and willing to admit it? Ever feel bad after? Ever find anything crazy? Stories?

 

Yes, once I learn a woman's full name, I get on Google and just do a preliminary search. Sometimes I found photos of the women, partying it up, getting drunk. Other times I don't find anything, aside from their social media profiles. Since I don't have Facebook, I've asked a friend or two to look up someone for me too. Nothing to be ashamed about, it's there and accessible. Nothing illegal about it. I even Google myself, to make sure I'm keeping my nose clean.

  • Like 3
Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
Posted

I must admit that I also do it to find out more about the person - not necessarily to "catch" them doing something that is wrong and/or would turn me off.

 

With my latest crush, I like some books he's read and stuff. We also share likes/opinions on some movies, music - pretty much stuff that I am surprised other people liked - especially the movies :laugh:

  • Like 1
Maleficent Established Member

Maleficent

Posted
Posted

I do it too.

 

I haven't found anything scary so far but I have this one story. That happened a few years back.

 

Earlier that year, a girl at school was beat up by her fiancee over the Christmas break. I was not really close with her and I did not see her at school during the Winter session but assumed she came back after the holidays. I just knew this had happened to her.

 

I had a crush on this guy. Let's call him Bob. Bob 'disappeared' for about two weeks his April. When he got back he told me he drove his ex-girlfriend back home (let's say in Sunnydale...)

 

A few days after that (still in April), I find out Josy was not coming back to school and that she would be staying home...in Sunnydale!

 

So there I was, thinking Bob was the guy who beat Jody up!

 

Thanks to some Facebook stalking I found out Bob was NOT the ex fiancee but man. did I freak out for a second...

  • Like 2
Donnie Darko Member

Donnie Darko

Posted
Posted

I had a date with a woman that was going ok until she told me all about how she spent two hours searching for information about me online and cyber stalking me. She told me I passed her cyber stalking test like that was some type of compliment. As soon as she told me about her creepy behavior I felt any attraction that I had for her vanish into thin air.

LookAtThisPOst Established Member

LookAtThisPOst

Posted
Posted

I've done it myself. Mostly through Facebook. Its esp. easy to even find that person in a small city even with their FIRST name because their picture typically shows up next to it.

 

Been known to do it when I've first me them on Meetup and go from there.

Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
Posted (edited)
I had a date with a woman that was going ok until she told me all about how she spent two hours searching for information about me online and cyber stalking me. She told me I passed her cyber stalking test like that was some type of compliment. As soon as she told me about her creepy behavior I felt any attraction that I had for her vanish into thin air.

 

Well, yeah, I think doing your research on someone is kinda one of those things we "know" happens, but really don't wanna "hear" that it happened.

 

I mean, even though I've been doing research on my recent crush - I had a period where I thought he was doing the same and I kinda freaked. Not cuz I had anything to hide, but you kinda feel weird about it.

 

But, IMO, it's not like you're going through their garbage, mail...or sitting/standing outside their door 24/7. Get my drift?

 

There was a Seinfeld sorta like this where he didn't get some chick's number, but knew where she worked. So a guy suggested he hang around the lobby in the building around the time she got off. He didn't wanna do it at first, but he eventually did it. There was another episode where he got a chick's tel off of a list of walkers for raising money for a charity.

Edited by Gloria25
  • Like 1
smg15 Established Member

smg15

Posted
Posted

This is exactly why I don't use my real name on social media and deleted my linkedin account

 

I didn't realize how easy it was for a girl to search your info once they have your full name

smg15 Established Member

smg15

Posted
Posted
I've done it myself. Mostly through Facebook. Its esp. easy to even find that person in a small city even with their FIRST name because their picture typically shows up next to it.

 

Been known to do it when I've first me them on Meetup and go from there.

 

And coworkers can do the same thing when you start a new job which is why I don't have my real name

Frank2thepoint Established Member

Frank2thepoint

Posted
Posted
I had a date with a woman that was going ok until she told me all about how she spent two hours searching for information about me online and cyber stalking me. She told me I passed her cyber stalking test like that was some type of compliment. As soon as she told me about her creepy behavior I felt any attraction that I had for her vanish into thin air.

 

That is damn well creepy sounding. I agree with Gloria25, it's something that is assumed people do, but you don't want to hear about it. Just like pooping. Everybody poops, but you don't talk about how big of a poop you took right before the date.

 

But, IMO, it's not like you're going through their garbage, mail...or sitting/standing outside their door 24/7. Get my drift?

 

Before the Internet, this is what the equivalent of cyberstalking was.

organizedchaos Established Member

organizedchaos

Posted
Posted

Yeah, all the time. Typical Google, Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn searches. We used to call it "running her plates" as in what cops do when they pull you over.

 

"Hey, been talking to this girl I met at the party the other night."

 

"Yeah, you run her plates?"

 

"Of course, all good"

  • Like 1
HazyCosmicJive Established Member

HazyCosmicJive

Posted
Posted
So I'm one of those people who doesn't mind confessing that I search for online trails of prospective dating partners. Yes, yes I know I'm a paranoid creeper (or something) but I do it.

 

Been messaging with a guy from OLD, moved to texting and soon to be phone conversation. So far I must admit I'm interested. Our sense of humor seems to line up, we have several common interests, neither of us is looking to move fast or serious in the least, and he wears glasses, which is practically a fetish of mine.

 

So yesterday I did my creepy internet detective work, and I found a post he made this year (but several months back) on a website similar to BackPage, asking for an escort to take his virginity.

 

My reaction to it is that I thought it was cute and a bit humorous, not in a mocking sort of way, but just a straight up kind of way. I kind of have that twisted dormant femdom streak anyway, so if anything my inner warped self is just like muahahahaha a virgin. (Assuming he didn't actually get free sex without even posting his photo, or get kicked off the site for asking escorts to take his virginity.)

 

But then at the same time I feel bad, because I know even though it was out there for the whole world to see, it's still that invasive sort of guilt, and of course I won't bring it up unless we've eventually known each other for years or something.

 

Anyone else here do this sort of preliminary snooping and willing to admit it? Ever feel bad after? Ever find anything crazy? Stories?

 

The only thing I've done is check her Facebook to see if she's obviously attached or check her LinkedIn to try to determine her age. I figure if it's on a public profile they want people to know it so it's no big deal.

Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
Posted

I just Googled my name (for latest updates), for sure I'm never gonna get a new job...

 

It's nothing derogatory, but oh well...

 

I mean, anyone reading it can see I'm not the "bad guy", but at the same time I am sure that I'm screwed indefinitely.

 

While some laws prohibit employers for using that info in assessing applicants for a job, we all know they do. :(

smg15 Established Member

smg15

Posted
Posted
Yeah, all the time. Typical Google, Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn searches. We used to call it "running her plates" as in what cops do when they pull you over.

 

"Hey, been talking to this girl I met at the party the other night."

 

"Yeah, you run her plates?"

 

"Of course, all good"

 

I have myself protected

 

 

1. Nothing comes up when you google my full name

 

2. I have a screen name on FB

 

3. Don't have a Instagram Account

 

4. Screen name for Twitter

 

5. No Linkedin Account

smg15 Established Member

smg15

Posted
Posted
I just Googled my name (for latest updates), for sure I'm never gonna get a new job...

 

It's nothing derogatory, but oh well...

 

I mean, anyone reading it can see I'm not the "bad guy", but at the same time I am sure that I'm screwed indefinitely.

 

While some laws prohibit employers for using that info in assessing applicants for a job, we all know they do. :(

 

 

 

I am wondering when is people going to start getting a screen name for FB to they don't have to worry about employers finding their FB account

  • Like 1
FitChick Established Member

FitChick

Posted
Posted

I go to Google and see what comes up. I go to linkedin to see what they do for work. I also check out Facebook.

That's why I'm not on any of those sites and I will google myself every so often to see if there is any info. If yes, I contact the website and ask them to remove it.

 

I've been known to try to find public records to see if a man is divorced though.

  • Like 1
organizedchaos Established Member

organizedchaos

Posted
Posted
I am wondering when is people going to start getting a screen name for FB to they don't have to worry about employers finding their FB account

 

Keep everything set to "friends only" and it doesn't matter if your employer, or anyone else, finds you. Also have all tags set to your approval and no photos can be found with your name.

smg15 Established Member

smg15

Posted
Posted
Keep everything set to "friends only" and it doesn't matter if your employer, or anyone else, finds you. Also have all tags set to your approval and no photos can be found with your name.

 

I just always wanted to play it safe and make sure I'm a 100% hidden on FB

Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
Posted
I am wondering when is people going to start getting a screen name for FB to they don't have to worry about employers finding their FB account

 

But, then how can people you "want" to look you up actually will be able to look you up? Some women even hyphenate their last names just in case people are searching for them under their maiden name.

 

BTW, I'm not worried about Facebook and/or LinkedIn, cuz I watch what I put on there....

  • Like 1
organizedchaos Established Member

organizedchaos

Posted
Posted
But, then how can people you "want" to look you up actually will be able to look you up? Some women even hyphenate their last names just in case people are searching for them under their maiden name.

 

BTW, I'm not worried about Facebook and/or LinkedIn, cuz I watch what I put on there....

 

Me too. Couldn't care less if someone finds me. I protect what I post and I don't post anything I wouldn't want read out loud in court ?

  • Like 2
shet Established Member

shet

Posted
Posted

Everyone does this, if they say they don't they're lying.

 

I've found distressing things about crushes and dates. Just last year a girl I was dating said some weird things about submissiveness, and investigation revealed she was into BDSM **** and attended fetish parties on the regular. I've found trails going back 10+ years to pathetic lonely blogs about their body image issues as teens that throw light on them all these years later. One prospective date turned out to be a local escort.

 

On the other hand you can find areas of common ground, interests, activities etc that let you oil the wheels later on.

 

Myself, nothing comes up for me and my Facebook is friends only. Nobody's going to know a thing.

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