oberkeat Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 When I ask about how to meet women, several folks have recommended meetup to me, not just to find dates, but to expand my social network in general post-college. What's been your experience with it? Has it resulted in new friends, dates (not that that's the point), or just awkward conversation?
d0nnivain Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 I had more luck with MeetUps as a business networking tool then dating. I did find one 'dating' group I liked. They would get together to play board games. I never got a date from the play dates but I did go out to dinner with a guy I met at the happy hour. Ironically my husband was also a member of that same group but we never attended the same event. He was taken to the event where we did meet by a friend he knew from MeetUp 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 I had more luck with MeetUps as a business networking tool then dating. I did find one 'dating' group I liked. They would get together to play board games. I never got a date from the play dates but I did go out to dinner with a guy I met at the happy hour. Ironically my husband was also a member of that same group but we never attended the same event. He was taken to the event where we did meet by a friend he knew from MeetUp So he was a +1...I think that's how it happens, lol. Usually the +1's that come with someone never wind up actually becoming a member nor ever plan to, so it's good to strike while the iron is hot before they leave the event that evening.
d0nnivain Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 So he was a +1...I think that's how it happens, lol. Usually the +1's that come with someone never wind up actually becoming a member nor ever plan to, so it's good to strike while the iron is hot before they leave the event that evening. The event where we met had nothing to do with MeetUp. It was a business thing for people in certain industries. We were both at the networking thing having be invited by other acquaintances. The guy who told my husband about the event where we met was somebody he'd met at a MeetUp.
shet Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 For your stated purpose I've found it to be terrific. It's like a cheat code for real life, a way to meet new friends in a world hostile to doing that, provided you can find the right groups stocked with the right people in your area (I'm blessed in having access to the two most active cities in the UK). For dating... I don't do actual dating groups, they could be good or bad. I have "met" a few women via normal groups. My hands are often tied by a desire to maintain a friendship with them at events or not to disrupt a group dynamic. I have taken a shot a couple times to no lasting effect, but that's the same anywhere. I have a sort-of date next weekend with someone from there. The thing to bear in mind at all times is that everyone there wants to make friends, that's the point. But people do that differently. Make sure for example you've calibrated the difference between touchy feely friendliness and being hit upon, or day long conversations and day long doe-eyed attention grabs, because there will be those who make the distinction necessary. 1
spanishchick00 Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 I'm actually hesitant to do meetup, there's a rather large meet up group in my area for young professionals. I'm just afraid they will all be stand off-ish and not bother on getting to know me. I know how some people are.
shet Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 I'm actually hesitant to do meetup, there's a rather large meet up group in my area for young professionals. I'm just afraid they will all be stand off-ish and not bother on getting to know me. I know how some people are. Everyone on any social meetup group (so any that aren't some kind of networking or niche special interest like the Shropshire Funnel Benders Quarterly or South-East Yoni Breatharians) is there explicitly to meet people. Anyone who's happy with the current amount of socialising they do, isn't on meetup. Thus, there will be no stand-offishness. Unless you yourself are stand offish. You get out what you put in as with any personal interactions. I've been on hikes myself where someone new turns up and fails to talk to anyone, or is curiously hostile about something, and you never see them again.
spanishchick00 Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 Everyone on any social meetup group (so any that aren't some kind of networking or niche special interest like the Shropshire Funnel Benders Quarterly or South-East Yoni Breatharians) is there explicitly to meet people. Anyone who's happy with the current amount of socialising they do, isn't on meetup. Thus, there will be no stand-offishness. Unless you yourself are stand offish. You get out what you put in as with any personal interactions. I've been on hikes myself where someone new turns up and fails to talk to anyone, or is curiously hostile about something, and you never see them again. I don't think I'm stand off-ish. Its just there has been times when I went out of my way to offer friendships with people only to be rejected and to see how they much prefer to be friends with someone else other then me. Rejection isn't a good feeling.
pulsar Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 I recently moved to a new town not knowing anyone and decided to attend meetups. Thus far, it has proven to be a good experience; especially if you go in not necessarily expecting something to happen after one meet up. Though, Ive only attended professionally oriented meetups, over time you can make friends with individuals in similar field. Interestingly, some people I met at meetup, I ended up running into them at other industry events or coffee shops. SpanishChick, I initially thought people might be standoffish but the very opposite proved to be so. I went to meetups with no more than a dozen people and after the initial awkward introduction/ice breaker conversation flowed and made good contacts.
d0nnivain Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 I'm actually hesitant to do meetup, there's a rather large meet up group in my area for young professionals. I'm just afraid they will all be stand off-ish and not bother on getting to know me. I know how some people are. Yes, there will be some standoffish people but if this a professional group (as opposed to a social / dating group), the experienced networkers will be all over you. Understand they don't necessarily want to be your "friend". They want to sell you something or they want to tap into your network so you will introduce them to your colleagues, friends & family who may want to buy what they are selling.
Diezel Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 I've been doing Meetup for a while now. I think my experience with meetup regarding social environments has been hit or miss. A lot of them exist just for dating drama. But some do exist to make friends. I'm an organizer of one such meetup and it has been great. A lot of them have become permanent fixtures of my life. I even went out with a woman from there for a bit. But with Meetup it all depends on your area.
mysteryscape Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 I belong to several meetup groups where I live. They are a nice way to socialize with people you would not otherwise meet, or engage in activities e.g. hiking with new people. Most of the groups are not dating groups and I believe it is considered uncool to contact people you don't know via their message service for that purpose. On the other hand, once you get to know people in a group, I don't see anything wrong with trying to date someone in the ordinary fashion. I haven't done this myself, and I'm not sure that many people do. I'd recommend that you try out a group or two and see how you like it. I see little downside to it -- there is none of the craziness of OLD!
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