I think I am going to give in and contact my ex. I am miserable already.

[youcanever]

I am 25 year old. I've had 5 gfs till now.

 

First one was LDR relationship for almost 2 years and I had to end it due to distance. It was a bad experience as well.

Then in other 2 relationships my gfs ended it because I was very jealous and repelled them. They were so right about it.

Fourth one, I ended it because I didn't feel much for her.

 

And now here is the fifth one after 1.5 years. Yes. I haven't dated anyone for 1.5 years. I've had some fun and one night stands but never connected with a girl. I've met this girl in the middle of october and started dating 2nd of november.

 

In our first meeting someone called him. She didn't tell me but couple of days later I've found out that it was her ex bf. She claimed it was her ex but she was still meeting him and working on a project with him and have photos with him on her facebook. Also I've discovered that she was flirting with another guy from another city by phone. She wrote him like "If you were here, things would be different". Also on our first week of dating she wrote to her one another ex that she still has feelings for him. This was when we were dating. I've also discovered that at the end of the relationship, last week.

 

So, I've dated this girl for 4 weeks but everything was awesome with her besides I just didn't trust her at all. I just couldn't. She was 22 and her exs were 10 ages older than her. And all those texts to other guys and exs. Feelings for exs. I always thought she was hiding something from me. She even wrote one of his 40s year old friend that "hey we were going to thailand together". I just felt bad when I saw it. She wanted to go to thailand with a 40s year old guy? Alone? And she wrote that message when were dating?

 

I loved her. I still love her. But I just had to end it because somehow my heart got frozen and I started to feel so cold towards her. Because she just seemed fake to me time to time.

 

When I told her I want to break up. She said she loves me and she doesn't want to lose me. She doesn't want anyone else.

 

But a week later, she wrote stuff like "you are pushing me to my plan b and plan c.(Which are other guys)." She wrote "I must admit that it was just my ego talking because first time a guy is breaking up with me" etc.

 

I was feeling so relaxed because at the end she started showing her real face. But days past and I am feeling bad and missing her damn much. I even saw her in my dream 2 days ago. She was kissing with one of my friends and she was so cool about it. It was a horrible day after that dream.

 

I've had heartaches before. But just because I broke up with someone I was really connected with, I feel like I deserve to be unhappy for a looooong time while she is having some fun time with her plan b or plan c. Yesterday and today was very hard to resist. I am fighting so hard not to write her. I am hitting gym as much as I can and trying to study my training to take my mind of her.

 

I am just feeling horrible and wanted to share and vent about my feelings.

 

Thank you for this website and thank you if you comment and give me some advice if I was wrong or right.

 

Either way, I should take a lesson from this relationship and move on.

[Rainbowlove]

I don't think you did anything wrong. In fact, you did everything right.

 

So saw all the signs (red flags) and listened to them. Good on you.

 

There will be other girls you will connect with who will not make you feel like plan A or B or C.

 

Just allow yourself the time to heal and keep hitting the gym.

 

Block her from your phone and life and you'll move on eventually and so will she.

 

Stay strong,

 

RL

[irresolute]

She played you. You got hooked because you think she has all that other options. She is a crazy bitch and you did right. Do please not contact her. She is drama.

[Rik777]

You can be assured that what you did was not just brave but definitely the right decision. I know it is easy for me to say this. But, this person was in no doubt dating several other men. Unfortunately you was one of them and just a number to her. Cut your loses and move on. I totally back what you did. DO NOT contact her again. If she comes begging for forgiveness then it is upto you to decide if you wish to forgive her and give her another chance. But be confidence in yourself. There are few good ladies out. Keep Searching!

[youcanever]

I don't think you did anything wrong. In fact, you did everything right.

 

So saw all the signs (red flags) and listened to them. Good on you.

 

There will be other girls you will connect with who will not make you feel like plan A or B or C.

 

Just allow yourself the time to heal and keep hitting the gym.

 

Block her from your phone and life and you'll move on eventually and so will she.

 

Stay strong,

 

RL

 

I am pretty sure she already moved on. She always said to me, "never pity for me, I am a strong girl, I will be okay."

 

She is strong and she is okay. I need to move on as well.

 

Thank you.

[youcanever]

She played you. You got hooked because you think she has all that other options. She is a crazy bitch and you did right. Do please not contact her. She is drama.

 

Actually I don't think I was ever hooked to her. When I saw her red flags, breaking up never left my mind and I finally had courage to do it.

 

She was a crazy girl as you said and I am doing my best not to contact her. I know I will feel worst if I talk to her or anything. I don't need drama in my life. I hope she find someone and move happily.

 

Thank you for the comment.

[youcanever]

You can be assured that what you did was not just brave but definitely the right decision. I know it is easy for me to say this. But, this person was in no doubt dating several other men. Unfortunately you was one of them and just a number to her. Cut your loses and move on. I totally back what you did. DO NOT contact her again. If she comes begging for forgiveness then it is upto you to decide if you wish to forgive her and give her another chance. But be confidence in yourself. There are few good ladies out. Keep Searching!

 

It is good to hear to be supported with my decision. Yesterday and today she was in my mind all day long and she seemed like an angel and seemed so innocent in my mind and I was angry myself that why I broke up with her. But when I look a week before all I was thinking was running away from her and feeling nothing towards her.

 

Time to time I check her whatsapp picture and facebook pictures but other than that I am resisting not to write her.

 

Thank you.

[youcanever]

I made a mistake and checked my ex's fb profile. She updated her profile pic last night. She seem extremely happy and so beautiful and cute.

 

I miss her so much. One of the worst emotional days of my life. I wish I could take time a month ago and never meet her.

 

I just want to write her all my feelings but as my previous experiences I also know that I will regret is so much and feel even worst. I don't know what to do besides grinding my teeth not to write her.

[Lokin4AReason]

let her go and move on ..... the right is out there that would treat you at how you should be treated, w/ respect and honesty

[youcanever]

let her go and move on ..... the right is out there that would treat you at how you should be treated, w/ respect and honesty

 

She was always respectful to me but I don't think she was always honest. At the beginning of the relationship she showed lots of red flags but when I saw that she totally changed her attitude and deleted her ex and other guys from her facebook and always be straight with me.

 

Since that moment I don't think she ever lied to me or be dishonest with me. She always showed me her messages and texts after she saw my untrusting behaviour towards her. But somehow I just couldn't trust her again after that red flags and had to end it.

 

Now I feel like I did a huge mistake. I feel like, she did her best to keep me by her side and did nothing wrong and I feel like I've missed the world's best gf. I feel so awful and horrible right now.

 

Grinding my teeth so hard not to write her all my feelings.

[SycamoreCircle]

"...but everything was awesome with her besides I just didn't trust her at all."

 

Yeah, that really clinches it.

 

My advice to you is try to pick up on some of this craziness before getting involved with a woman. I ask women about their dating history on the first date. And if you can be keen enough to pick up on what's not said, then your job is half done.

[youcanever]

"...but everything was awesome with her besides I just didn't trust her at all."

 

Yeah, that really clinches it.

 

My advice to you is try to pick up on some of this craziness before getting involved with a woman. I ask women about their dating history on the first date. And if you can be keen enough to pick up on what's not said, then your job is half done.

 

So you think I did wrong breaking up with her?

[irresolute]

You are 1 step from disaster.

Go ahead write your 10 page feelings. I bet she laughs hard.

 

You should go no contact. No whatsApp no facebook. She is no angel and you are putting her in a pedestal which is very common.

 

But you need to see for yourself and I think you'll contact her soon. Oh well...

[youcanever]

You are 1 step from disaster.

Go ahead write your 10 page feelings. I bet she laughs hard.

 

You should go no contact. No whatsApp no facebook. She is no angel and you are putting her in a pedestal which is very common.

 

But you need to see for yourself and I think you'll contact her soon. Oh well...

 

If I don't check her fb or whatsapp to see what is happening, I feel like I am just running away from my feelings. And eventually one day I will see her (we live in a small town) and I will have bigger disasater if I don't face it now.

 

If I keep NC by not checking her, do I really get healed by time even if I don't have a new gf? Because I want to focus on my studies for 1.5 years without any intimacy or a gf.

[irresolute]

Yes, focus on your things.

No need to check on her.

[youcanever]

Yes, focus on your things.

No need to check on her.

 

Alright I won't write to her and I am going full NC tomorrow.

[Rydo]

It was 4 weeks... How much love can there really be in that time? If you are already having issues after just 4 weeks you will be much happier without her.

[youcanever]

It was 4 weeks... How much love can there really be in that time? If you are already having issues after just 4 weeks you will be much happier without her.

 

I don't think I love her. I just miss sex with her so much. And I am just creating images in my mind about her and her new future bf. Sickening images.

[youcanever]

I am the one breaking up with her 10 days ago due to trust issues towards her. 3 days ago she used her roommate to contact my roommate and asked how i am doing. My roommate didn't give her any information about her.

 

I was so bad 4 days ago but then lasst 3 days I've been feelings great. But today, again, I feel miserable. Thinking of her 7/24. Mood is horrible. And keeping myself so hard not to write her.

 

I know if I get back with her, relationship will never be the same because we broke up and NC for 10 days. Also I feel like she will be the dumper 6-7 months later when she moves to bigger city. And also I will not be able to spend time with her much due to my lessons and training and gym etc.

 

But I just want her to know that I am thinking of her and I miss her damn much. I just want to hug and cuddle with her and sleep with her. I miss having sex with her. I miss our comforting phone calls. I miss her skin her touch.

 

Damn, would it be really bad if I contact her even though I know that she will become an air hostess in 9-10 months and forget about me? I am also having my training to become a pilot. If everything goes okay, I will become an airliner pilot in 18 months.

 

I am so confused and I know I will not find a better girl like her again. I feel so down and miserable.

 

What a phaggot huh?

[Liz0800]

hey there. Don't do it, don't give your power away. If you don't trust it's likely they are untrustworthy. This is a blip in your massive life span. The pain will go away. Just sit and feel it and don't fight it. It's normal to hurt, your feelings are normal hang on in there for no. She's clearly feeling it as she's asking after you. Don't give the power away. Yup, you may get back but let them come to you.

 

Lx

[Satu]

I am the one breaking up with her 10 days ago due to trust issues towards her. 3 days ago she used her roommate to contact my roommate and asked how i am doing. My roommate didn't give her any information about her.

 

I was so bad 4 days ago but then lasst 3 days I've been feelings great. But today, again, I feel miserable. Thinking of her 7/24. Mood is horrible. And keeping myself so hard not to write her.

 

I know if I get back with her, relationship will never be the same because we broke up and NC for 10 days. Also I feel like she will be the dumper 6-7 months later when she moves to bigger city. And also I will not be able to spend time with her much due to my lessons and training and gym etc.

 

But I just want her to know that I am thinking of her and I miss her damn much. I just want to hug and cuddle with her and sleep with her. I miss having sex with her. I miss our comforting phone calls. I miss her skin her touch.

 

Damn, would it be really bad if I contact her even though I know that she will become an air hostess in 9-10 months and forget about me? I am also having my training to become a pilot. If everything goes okay, I will become an airliner pilot in 18 months.

 

I am so confused and I know I will not find a better girl like her again. I feel so down and miserable.

 

What a phaggot huh?

 

If you do contact her you will feel much worse.

 

Exercise self-discipline and don't do it.

 

Be strong.

[erklat]

He dumped her, so of there is going to be reconciliation he is the one to initiate it.

[youcanever]

If you do contact her you will feel much worse.

 

Exercise self-discipline and don't do it.

 

Be strong.

 

I just want to write her.

 

"I just want you to know that I am going through the same pain or maybe even worse than yours. I feel your pain as much as I feel mine. I am with you on this disturbing journey. We will get through it. Stay strong."

 

Too bad?

[Chatmonkey]

Don't do it, it is very unfair to her. You broke up with her and sending her messages like' I miss you' and sh*t like that will just confuse her and get her emotions running.

 

Read half the threads in here and they mention that their dumper sent them this text and it doesn't make them feel any better.

 

You said it yourself, down the line it doesn't look like it will work due to future jobs.

 

My LDR ended as soon as i arrived in her city was sucked! BUT when I think about it, by going through the pain now, I have saved myself MOUNTAINS more pain that would have been inflicted on me when I would have to leave back to my own country in a few months.

 

Look on the bright side, you have saved yourself more inevitable pain. Also, you will find someone better, again read half the threads here, everyone thinks their girl is the best... It's not possible.

[Chatmonkey]

I just want to write her.

 

"I just want you to know that I am going through the same pain or maybe even worse than yours. I feel your pain as much as I feel mine. I am with you on this disturbing journey. We will get through it. Stay strong."

 

Too bad?

 

If my ex who dumped me told me she was going through WORSE than me because of it I would be infuriated and would not give two sh*ts because SHE inflicted it on herself as you have, but the dumpee did not self-inflict, the pain was forced on to them by another which they could not control.

 

Don't say you're in more pain. Your pain is self-inflicted, hers is not. BIG difference.

Edited December 13, 2014 by Chatmonkey