Mike1993 Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 So I got introduced to this girl through a mutual friend and we hit it off great and went on a date two days after and it went great for a month we've texted almost all day and hung-out 3-4 times a week. She asked me to meet her parents at an event at college, I was hesitant but she kept emphasizing how important it was to her and they wanted to meet me so I went along it seemed she told them a lot about me and they kept saying they're glad I treat their daughter well, and would like if I came down for Christmas and she also introduced me to all her close friends, she kept calling me baby, and how she's kinda spoken for (referring to me) and how she always misses me and I make her so happy and she hasn't met a guy like me in a long time. I thought things were going to fast and too smoothly didn't feel right but I ignored my gut feeling and just went along with it then after a month we still haven't defined what we had going so I decided to take her out and ask her to be my girlfriend since that's the vibe I was getting from her with all that's happening and then when I asked her she said she really likes how things are going but just needs a little more time before she jumps into anything, and wanted to continue at the pace we were going and for the rest of the day acted normal, then when I got home she texted to me and it all seemed different no more effort to keep conversation going felt like I was forcing her to talk, no more sweet good morning/night texts, or the regular flirting so I left her two days without talking to her then when I did she asked why haven't I texted her I said to give her space and she said she really appreciated that. I brought up the topic and she said that things got too fast and she isn't good with that stuff, then she's not sure she can handle anything serious right now, and she likes how was going but doesn't want me to think she can handle anything more right now, and she doesn't want me to just sit around till she's ready but she likes how things are going but it just needs to be a bit slower for her, and that she doesn't know what she wants and that we should take it slow and see where that goes. My first though was that I'm a rebound, but I really like this girl and don't know what to do? Should I forget about her, should I back off for a bit, or should I continue talking to her regularly?
smackie9 Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Just simply back off. To be desirable is to make yourself less available. And if that doesn't work date others. 5
deathandtaxes Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Don't get trapped in this girl's limbo. You expressed your desire for exclusivity and she rejected that. That should be end of story for this budding relationship. Anything more and you're headed for heartache, chasing an unavailable lady. I'd say this lady's wishy-washy at best. After a month of going out a lot and being introduced to family, etc, that stuff is pretty serious. But people are allowed to change their minds, so don't give her grief. Just do what's best for you. Here is the question you have to answer, OP: is this what you want? An undefined thing with a lady who doesn't know what she wants? 2
Author Mike1993 Posted December 13, 2014 Author Posted December 13, 2014 Don't get trapped in this girl's limbo. You expressed your desire for exclusivity and she rejected that. That should be end of story for this budding relationship. Anything more and you're headed for heartache, chasing an unavailable lady. I'd say this lady's wishy-washy at best. After a month of going out a lot and being introduced to family, etc, that stuff is pretty serious. But people are allowed to change their minds, so don't give her grief. Just do what's best for you. Here is the question you have to answer, OP: is this what you want? An undefined thing with a lady who doesn't know what she wants? That makes a lot of sense. I did like how things were between us but that all changed real quick so to answer your question hell no that's not what I want.
Frank2thepoint Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 I thought things were going to fast and too smoothly didn't feel right but I ignored my gut feeling and just went along with it You made plenty of mistakes, but this right here was the biggest. You need to learn to speak up, and not be afraid to say what your gut is telling you. She would have told you a lot sooner she wasn't looking for anything serious, and then you should have just ended it. 2
Jules Dash Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 Always pay attention well to how a woman's parents initially treat you. If they are quick to warm up to you and invite you to family events it is often an indication that their daughter has recently been in a heartbreaking relationship and has been struggling to move on from and they are happy to see her moving on in some sort of way so you are like a savior to them. It can also indicate that their daughter has a bad track record of picking quality men in her life so the first time a half-way decent guy shows up, the parents are basically running towards him with arms open wide saying "please, save us from her terrible boyfriend-choosing behavior! She makes us miserable by dragging us into it all the time" This seems like a rebound situation. You can still pull it off effectively if you are good at knowing how to back off at the appropriate times." Back way off right now.
Recommended Posts