Georgia2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 (edited) I went on a date and asked my guy friend should I tell him I like him. He said worse that will happen is the guy won't like me. So with him behind me I sent the guy a text and told him I like him. He replied back he likes me to. I knew if he didn't like me back I could complain to my guy friend who would say something to make me feel better like he always does. The reason I decided to be so open and honest with how I felt is I hate people playing mind games. Which to me is what dating games are. Plus I don't have time to sit and wonder does he like me. I feel like after a first date he knows if he likes me or not. Edited December 13, 2014 by Georgia2014 1
smackie9 Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Guys don't ask girls out on dates they don't like. You know they like you when they ask you out again.
d0nnivain Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Good for you for taking that risk. It seems to have paid off so far but now back down. Like is fine after a 1st date. Other declarations would be scary, invasive & over the top at this early stage. 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Hmm, just me but if a guy asked me after one date 'do you like me?' I'd be a bit creeped out. At that stage it's nice to just explore if anything is there through going out more, seeing if you're compatible.. I'd have thought that agreeing to go on further dates is enough to know if you like someone enough to see where it goes. I'd feel a bit 'well I barely know you yet...' if someone asked me that after date one. Just me though. Watch out it doesn't freak someone out, sometimes it's nice to just let things develop for several dates first. Why do you need to hear it verbalised by him? Is him asking you out again not enough? 1
Author Georgia2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Author Posted December 13, 2014 Good for you for taking that risk. It seems to have paid off so far but now back down. Like is fine after a 1st date. Other declarations would be scary, invasive & over the top at this early stage. Before I told him I like him my guy friend advised me not to act desperate or clingy. We agreed to start of as friends.
Gaeta Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Amen to that. I hate these dating games where women have to portrayed themselves as half interested or totally uninterested. I have no problem telling a man I enjoyed meeting him and would be delighted to see him again, then I leave the ball in his corner. 5
Author Georgia2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Author Posted December 13, 2014 Hmm, just me but if a guy asked me after one date 'do you like me?' I'd be a bit creeped out. At that stage it's nice to just explore if anything is there through going out more, seeing if you're compatible.. I'd have thought that agreeing to go on further dates is enough to know if you like someone enough to see where it goes. I'd feel a bit 'well I barely know you yet...' if someone asked me that after date one. Just me though. Watch out it doesn't freak someone out, sometimes it's nice to just let things develop for several dates first. Why do you need to hear it verbalised by him? Is him asking you out again not enough? Usually I don't get no further than a first date. He is the only one I have told after a first date I like him. If he didn't like me I didn't want to waste my time when I could have been looking for someone else.
Gaeta Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Hmm, just me but if a guy asked me after one date 'do you like me?' I'd be a bit creeped out. At that stage it's nice to just explore if anything is there through going out more, seeing if you're compatible.. I'd have thought that agreeing to go on further dates is enough to know if you like someone enough to see where it goes. I'd feel a bit 'well I barely know you yet...' if someone asked me that after date one. Just me though. Watch out it doesn't freak someone out, sometimes it's nice to just let things develop for several dates first. Why do you need to hear it verbalised by him? Is him asking you out again not enough? Don't you know already after 1 date if you liked the guy or not? I do. I may know nothing of him but I know I like his demeanor, I like the way he carried himself, I found him interesting and I find him good looking. I know I liked him enough to want to see him again. What is wrong is saying it? I was told many times after 1 date 'I like you and would like to see you again' and I didn't find it creepy in anyway. I'd answer 'I like you too and would love to see you again'. All these meetings are to find love, lets stop pretend they're job interviews. 2
Author Georgia2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Author Posted December 13, 2014 Don't you know already after 1 date if you liked the guy or not? I do. I may know nothing of him but I know I like his demeanor, I like the way he carried himself, I found him interesting and I find him good looking. I know I liked him enough to want to see him again. What is wrong is saying it? I was told many times after 1 date 'I like you and would like to see you again' and I didn't find it creepy in anyway. I'd answer 'I like you too and would love to see you again'. All these meetings are to find love, lets stop pretend they're job interviews. I completely agree with you. I don't think a woman should have to wait for the man to say I like you first after a date. Because if he likes you it won't change how he feels by a woman telling him she likes him before he says it.
Author Georgia2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Author Posted December 13, 2014 Guys don't ask girls out on dates they don't like. You know they like you when they ask you out again. With OLD it's hard to get a second date not just for the woman but for the men to. A first date from OLD means nothing.
Gaeta Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 I completely agree with you. I don't think a woman should have to wait for the man to say I like you first after a date. Because if he likes you it won't change how he feels by a woman telling him she likes him before he says it. How old are you Georgia? That is something I would never have done at 30 or even 40. Now that I am 49 I just express freely how I feel and what will be will be. If it scares the man away then he was not meant for me and on to next. 1
smackie9 Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 With OLD it's hard to get a second date not just for the woman but for the men to. A first date from OLD means nothing. Telling them you like them isn't going to get you a second date. Tip: If you like them, after the first date you message them one of the following: you enjoyed the date, you had fun, had a good time, it was nice meeting them, blah blah blah, and that you hope to see them soon. Then you leave it. DO NOT blame OLD for the lack of second dates...it's not the dating site's fault. What you should be asking yourself is why you are not getting a second date. 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Don't you know already after 1 date if you liked the guy or not? I do. I may know nothing of him but I know I like his demeanor, I like the way he carried himself, I found him interesting and I find him good looking. I know I liked him enough to want to see him again. What is wrong is saying it? I was told many times after 1 date 'I like you and would like to see you again' and I didn't find it creepy in anyway. I'd answer 'I like you too and would love to see you again'. All these meetings are to find love, lets stop pretend they're job interviews. I do, yes, but I don't think there's any need to say outright so early 'I like you', if you're going out on another date then it's self-explanatory that you do both like each other enough to meet again. But at that stage, that's really all you can know, I think the whole 'I like you!' exchange is just a little high school, there's nothing wrong with a 'I had a great time and I'd love to see you again'. I guess it sounded to me like the OP simply sent a message saying 'I like you' which is quite a declaration after one meeting, rather than a message like 'I liked seeing you, when are you free to meet again?' which seems more appropriate to me. Plus I don't advocate game-playing but it's a really lovely early stage where you're both meeting up and going on dates but don't know completely how the other person feels about you, don't you think? I would feel if a guy messaged me 'I like you' after a date well, you don't really know me to know you genuinely like me... and it's a bit like you've kinda won the other person already. I love the ambivalence early on where you're both trying to work out how you feel about the other person and how they feel about you. I suppose it just doesn't feel like something that has to be said. Especially not after one date. Much more delicious to discover that the other person likes you by the fact that they keep going out with you! 1
smackie9 Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Nice meeting them means there won't be another date. It's the ladies fault for being confusing. You didn't read my statement clearly....I said pick one of the following and then finish with saying they HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON.
irresolute Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Such a bad advice omg. Guys are chasers, girls are choosers. Doesn't work tge other way around. You looked desperate telling a guy you liked them. You should have options and you should be the one receiving those messages. 1
Author Georgia2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Author Posted December 13, 2014 For everyone saying it's childish to say I like him it is not. It's childish to play the waiting game. If you don't like my telling him I like him it's your problem not mine. I was just offering advice yet a lot of you are lashing out at me like calling me childish and saying it's my fault for not getting a second date. It's not my fault guys have the same problem getting a second date. 1
Danda Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Different people have different experiences and so I imagine that colors everyone's perspective. Some people might have said they liked someone on a first date, and then that person was freaked out and did a really fast fade. Some people might have said they liked someone on a first date, and then that person took it as a declaration of love or some other sorts of guarantees, became overly excited/obsessive and freaked them out. In those ^ examples people who have had that happen to them or who have seen it happen to others might be all like, "No, don't do it girl, you'll scare him off or have a stalker on your hands!" And then some people might have said they liked someone on a first date and had it go smoothly and stay in the safe & sane department. They might be more likely to say, "Hell yeah good job on being honest about your feelings!" And then on top of all that we'll all be considering how we would react if someone said that to us on a first date, and that will vary all over the place, as well. People really are unpredictable to an extent, especially when you only know them up to the point of a first date. I think even that is an area where you may or may not 'match' a possible mate, though. Like do you both play it cool, do you both blurt out whatever you're thinking/feeling in the moment or something in between?
acrosstheuniverse Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 For everyone saying it's childish to say I like him it is not. It's childish to play the waiting game. If you don't like my telling him I like him it's your problem not mine. I was just offering advice yet a lot of you are lashing out at me like calling me childish and saying it's my fault for not getting a second date. It's not my fault guys have the same problem getting a second date. Hey... I'm not calling you childish, I'm saying that one of the reasons I dislike the idea of what you did with this guy is because it comes across childish, there's a big different. There's such thing as 'the waiting game', but surely you're not starting to play it if you refrain from saying you like someone after ONE date? Sometimes it's nice not to rush things, and to let each other grow to like each other even more without the pressure of a declaration like that. At the end of the day, if you give advice on a public forum that allows replies, you can expect WHATEVER you post, that some people will disagree. That's why a forum is interesting and a great learning experience, plenty of differing opinions. Usually it's nobody's fault for not getting a second date (unless they're particularly obnoxious on the first), it's just that you're not compatible or don't have that spark, or one of you isn't ready to take it further. I've had pretty much consistent serious/monogamous relationships when I've wanted them since I was 17, yet in the time I've dated like crazy in between them I've had many a guy not want to take me out again, and turned down many a guy's invite for a second date. It's just the dating game. It's how it is.
Frank2thepoint Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 I went on a date and asked my guy friend should I tell him I like him. He said worse that will happen is the guy won't like me. So with him behind me I sent the guy a text and told him I like him. He replied back he likes me to. I knew if he didn't like me back I could complain to my guy friend who would say something to make me feel better like he always does. The reason I decided to be so open and honest with how I felt is I hate people playing mind games. Which to me is what dating games are. Plus I don't have time to sit and wonder does he like me. I feel like after a first date he knows if he likes me or not. Good for you. Telling a man you like him shows your confidence. You are also building a connection with the man. Such a bad advice omg. Guys are chasers, girls are choosers. Doesn't work tge other way around. You looked desperate telling a guy you liked them. You should have options and you should be the one receiving those messages. And here we have someone that plays games. Definitely do this if you don't want to be taken seriously. 1
deathandtaxes Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Telling him you like him, hate him, love him or whatever. It's just words. His reply is just words. Words don't mean **** unless backed up by action. I won't give you a hard time either way for texting him the message. But it's quite meaningless without ACTION. 1
Gaeta Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Saying to a man I like you after a meeting falls into the same category as I like the coffee, I like the weather today, I like what you wear, I like your smile. It means I like what I am seeing in front of me right now! Nothing more. 1
carhill Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Ladies if you like him tell him Words can be nice but actions speak volumes. Tip: Letting a man date one is not an action a typical man perceives as exceptional. Discerning his interests and passions and designing a date addressing them can be considered exceptional and clearly indicative of like without any such words expressed until, maybe, later, when he, as a proper gentleman, thanks the lady for her insight and generosity. 1
smackie9 Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 (edited) Tip: you want men to ask you out for a second date, you need to do the following: -Sex appeal. Men like a woman to dress sexy but feminine. Guys are visual creatures. They do take notice of the smallest of details like painted manicured nails, well groomed hair, some makeup but not too much. -Flirt and tease with a devilish smile. Guys like a little mystery too. -Body language, do the submissive looking up eye contact, the laugh and touch move, head tilt, put your hair behind your ear, lean in. These are cues that guys look for. -have a positive outlook on life, keep conversation light, not complicated. No guy wants a debbie downer and hear about what happen with your last relationship, or how crappy dating has been. Edited December 13, 2014 by smackie9
Jules Dash Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 I went on a date and asked my guy friend should I tell him I like him. He said worse that will happen is the guy won't like me. So with him behind me I sent the guy a text and told him I like him. He replied back he likes me to. I knew if he didn't like me back I could complain to my guy friend who would say something to make me feel better like he always does. The reason I decided to be so open and honest with how I felt is I hate people playing mind games. Which to me is what dating games are. Plus I don't have time to sit and wonder does he like me. I feel like after a first date he knows if he likes me or not. I like when a woman just frankly tells me she likes me. It makes me feel good and feel better about her. 2
todreaminblue Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 i think if you force anything ....that it isnt good.....i feel you should be able to say whats in your heart.....but be empathic towards the person you are talking too....and when it feels right to say it...... say what you want to say..i am foot in mouth girl......so...i often say things that i should wait on.....i am honest.....and the guys i have dated....dont seem to mind my honesty...they are in return open....and i like that...avoids wasting time.....deb
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