orangetree Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Hi, I know my thread sounds pretty ridiculous, but I'd love to hear your opinion. Tonight my boyfriend (30) started a fight because of me pooping- Yes, you heard right. We have two bathrooms in the apartment and I went to the one next to the bedroom (the other one is upstairs next to the kitchen). He went in right after I pooped and got suddenly super angry and said: 'Seriously? You poop here? You always tell me to poop upstairs but you're allowed to poop here?'... in a really really angry voice. I sometimes tell him to poop upstairs, but only in a joking manner, never seriously (I seriously don't give a **** where he poops.. literally)... and it absolutely cannot be that he doesn't get that I'm joking because in those moments he's laughing too and makes jokes. And now he gets super angry that I pooped in that bathroom? WTF? By the way, I poop many times in that bathroom, but my crap doesn't smell most of the time (unlike today a bit), so he doesn't even notice. Because of him being super angry I got angry too and told him I cannot believe he really gets angry and starts a fight over me pooping downstairs. Then he just started ignoring me completely and he still does. It happened yesterday around 6pm, now it's the next day 9am and he's still completely ignoring me. I don't wanna make the first step because I really think he's the one who absolutely overreacted and started a fight without any good reason. It's not the first time he starts a fight about pooping- Some weeks ago I pooped upstairs (the way he apparently wants me to) but I didn't close the door afterwards, instead I just almost closed it. So when he walked by that door he smelled some poop and got really angry about it, asking me in a super mad voice why I cannot close the door. I don't get this. I sometimes smell his poop too but I only make jokes about it. Or sometimes he even farts and it smells and I just laugh or open a window, I never get mad for these things. By the way, I don't think he did it because deep down there is another issue. The relationship is pretty good, he tells me all the time that he loves me very much and we started talking about marriage, children and buying a house a while ago. Yesterday before that 'incident' happened everything was fine and we spend the whole day together without any fight or anything. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 The anger for this is a bit over the top, if anything her should have made a comment rather than get angry. it also sounds like you were not joking about him pooping upstairs and not downstairs and then you go and do it.. you need to straighten this miscommunication out quickly before it snowballs.. Talk to him about it, also explain how you fell about the overreaction to the situation with his anger and explain to him that he can also poop in that same bathroom and you don't have a problem with it.. easy peasy... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Sounds like the fact it's all about poop is really a red herring. The problem here is that way your boyfriend relates to you when he gets annoyed about something. Instead of being able to brush it off, or staying calm (maybe he really DOES have a weird thing about other people's poop and would rather you pooped further away, that's not wrong in itself, although it's a little unusual) he gets mad at you, holds a grudge, and loses his temper. That tells me there's something underlying going on. Maybe about how he feels about you and the relationship. Is it possible that all of this talk about 'the future' is starting to freak him out and he's realising that it's not what he wants? If he behaves with you like this over something as small as pooping (I would rather my boyfriend poop somewhere I don't smell it too but I certainly wouldn't ignore him and give him the silent treatment for 18 hours over it, who does that? Other than manipulative, childish jerks), what's he going to be like when the going gets really rough or you screw up big time in the relationship somewhere down the line? You should reassessing whether or not you want to be with him after this kind of behaviour, not worrying about how to make things right. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author orangetree Posted December 13, 2014 Author Share Posted December 13, 2014 No, it was definitely a joke that he should poop upstairs. We actually make a lot of poop and fart jokes, this is why I find it even weirder that he gets angry about those things. And no, he was the one who incited the future talk some weeks ago. I'm 100% sure he wants it and is not freaked out. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 I don't know.. my wife makes jokes at times and I take them seriously if they are about certain things... I think you just discuss this with him, no anger on either side and talk it out, make sure you are heard about how you feel about the angry outburst. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 I have three words Glade Air Freshener. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author orangetree Posted December 13, 2014 Author Share Posted December 13, 2014 I don't know.. my wife makes jokes at times and I take them seriously if they are about certain things... I think you just discuss this with him, no anger on either side and talk it out, make sure you are heard about how you feel about the angry outburst. I already told him that every time I'm just joking but he didn't really say anything to that. Also, he should def know those are jokes, because we're making these jokes together! He's always laughing too if I ask him things like how his pooping went this morning etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Georgia2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 That is a bit nuts for him to react like that. Like other posters said what about buying air freshener plug in? There is also one that automatically sprays air freshener it works great I've seen it at the doctor's office. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 then maybe the outburst is about something else totally unrelated to the pooping... Link to post Share on other sites
Author orangetree Posted December 13, 2014 Author Share Posted December 13, 2014 That is a bit nuts for him to react like that. Like other posters said what about buying air freshener plug in? There is also one that automatically sprays air freshener it works great I've seen it at the doctor's office. For me it looks like it's less about the smell but more about me pooping downstairs while I told him while I was joking (and he was joking too) that he should poop upstairs. But yes, I will buy an air freshener anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
deathandtaxes Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 then maybe the outburst is about something else totally unrelated to the pooping... Duh!!! Haha. I mean, who gets angry for taking a deuce? HElloooo....we all gotta go #2. Nothing mysterious or crazy about it. Seems like a proxy for some power imbalance in the relationship. And the comment about him not going in the one bathroom may have been viewed through that. Sit him down. Hold his hands. And ffs talk to him. Link to post Share on other sites
most_distant_galaxy Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Hahahaha, this is such a funny topic. I'm sorry, I don't mean to mock your problem, not at all. Reading the title is just so funny. What if you warn him before he enters the bathroom? Just tell him to go to the other one if he needs to. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 This guy sounds really anal...... 15 Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 I don't get it. We all poop and we all stink. Are you 100% sure he isn'T simply turning the joke on you? You know you make jokes that he should poop upstairs. He makes jokes when you poop downstairs... There is this stuff call poo pourri. Make him get some if the smell bothers him so much. I don't mean to be mean about this or anything bit I don't see how a relationship can work if he gets so worked up about you pooping.... Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 I don't get it. We all poop and we all stink. Are you 100% sure he isn'T simply turning the joke on you? You know you make jokes that he should poop upstairs. He makes jokes when you poop downstairs... There is this stuff call poo pourri. Make him get some if the smell bothers him so much. I don't mean to be mean about this or anything bit I don't see how a relationship can work if he gets so worked up about you pooping.... Awesome cross-post! High five! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Why do you joke about him not pooping in that bathroom? Jokes have that kernel of truth. Maybe you are insinuating that his poop stinks more than yours, which is a metaphor for ALL KINDS of relationship friction. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
giblesp Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 When you live with someone, you see their human side complete with all their human functions and dysfunctions. As a human being, you have to use the toilet. If you're living with someone, on occasion they are going to be aware of that fact. He's actually being a little abusive here, make him aware of that fact. If it doesn't change then I would seriously consider leaving him. Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Matches. They are the BEST neutraliser of smell. Keep a box in every bathroom. If you both just struck a match after your poops, whichever bathroom you used wouldn't matter. Seriously. Matches. don't waste money on air freshers. No one likes flower scented poop smell either. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Matches. They are the BEST neutraliser of smell. Keep a box in every bathroom. If you both just struck a match after your poops, whichever bathroom you used wouldn't matter. Seriously. Matches. don't waste money on air freshers. No one likes flower scented poop smell either. We always let off a `Roman Candle`. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Awesome cross-post! High five! High Five! Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 We always let off a `Roman Candle`. classic. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 (edited) maybe he saw a double standard...its what i see.......whether you were joking or not.......he got offended by your joke...i feel this..... .anger is an emotion that lets you know something is wrong and it needs to be fixed...everyone gets angry at percieved slights........he might have had the wrong tone ro gone over th etop...the slight and thought behidn that is still existing in his head.........but you can actually discuss this little thing and work with it.......come to an agreement.....just ask him why he got angry about it.....and do so in mind that you actually want to discover the reason why he got angry.the thought behind the tone..not that you are pissed at him...solve it...its not that big.....best wishes..deb Edited December 13, 2014 by todreaminblue 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 classic. Guests, thin on the ground. Link to post Share on other sites
ScreaminEagle Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Wait, women poop? I am flabbergasted. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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