Jimmyjackson Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 So I was doing really well, it's been over 3 months since we broke up so plenty of time. My friend however mentioned he saw her on a date with some guy she apparently met on Tinder the other day. Why does this bother me so much? apparently they went for a drink. I need someone to talk some sense into me, I haven't spoken to her in 2 months and now I'm tempted to break contact, maybe because I'm jealous or something I guess. Not really a question but more a thread to voice my sadness! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 you don't need any sense talked into you.. you need to go out and start dating someone new.. now get out there... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jimmyjackson Posted December 13, 2014 Author Share Posted December 13, 2014 you don't need any sense talked into you.. you need to go out and start dating someone new.. now get out there... Yeah I know I agree it's just my self esteem took a big hit when she dumped me Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Yeah I know I agree it's just my self esteem took a big hit when she dumped me everybody's does.. don't get down about this any longer, get yourself out there.. someone new for you is right around the corner... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jimmyjackson Posted December 13, 2014 Author Share Posted December 13, 2014 everybody's does.. don't get down about this any longer, get yourself out there.. someone new for you is right around the corner... It's hard to get dates and meet girls though, I work every weekend; friday and saturday nights...sucks... Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 You got a date with your ex at one point didn't you? What makes you think tthat you can't get another one another time? Also, tell your friend to stop telling you information. Its pointless. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hamid7 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 i know how yo feel. just be thankful that she didn't do it with one of your friends. or even leave you for someone else. she is just trying to get over the break up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
zen2475 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 I totally understand how you feel. I found out my ex jumped right into a relationship after me and got married within nine months after we split. That was hard to deal with. I decided what he did after me was really not my business, and I needed to focus on my life and happiness. I think it's important now to acknowledge that you feel like this sucks, and it's normal, but ultimately you are in control of your life and your happiness. I follow the others' suggestions to go find yourself someone. Get on Tinder or whatever and just start interacting with people. It WILL do you a world of good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jimmyjackson Posted December 13, 2014 Author Share Posted December 13, 2014 To be honest, logically, she can do what she wants so it shouldn't really be of my concern. We've been broken up nearly 3 and a half months which is plenty of time I guess. I know she's not a slut or anything and I know she'll date the guys she feels are right for her and what not. But it still hurts man, our first date was on the 15th of December and I remember how great it was, sucks knowing she may be having those feelings with someone else now almost a year later. Link to post Share on other sites
HurtGator Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 To be honest, logically, she can do what she wants so it shouldn't really be of my concern. We've been broken up nearly 3 and a half months which is plenty of time I guess. I know she's not a slut or anything and I know she'll date the guys she feels are right for her and what not. But it still hurts man, our first date was on the 15th of December and I remember how great it was, sucks knowing she may be having those feelings with someone else now almost a year later. I know that feeling all to well. Before my exgf broke up with me, I suspected something between her and a coworker. I asked her about it a couple of times and she said he was just a friend. But two days after she breaks up with me she's going out with him, visiting and staying over his house. She is a person of crappy character. Link to post Share on other sites
Chatmonkey Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 When i feel like this i imagine how i would feel if i had a new beautiful girl in my arms and ask myself if in that moment would I feel the same as I do currently. If no, then the feelings are not so much for your ex (maybe still a little) but for the fact that you miss the emotion and want something new to attach them on to. But the ex was the most recent so you will always think of them when missing the emotion too. Double Whammy. If you want something, make it happen. Go out after work. Go out during the week. Don't make excuses. Fight the good fight. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
flightplan Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 When i feel like this i imagine how i would feel if i had a new beautiful girl in my arms and ask myself if in that moment would I feel the same as I do currently. If no, then the feelings are not so much for your ex (maybe still a little) but for the fact that you miss the emotion and want something new to attach them on to. But the ex was the most recent so you will always think of them when missing the emotion too. Double Whammy. If you want something, make it happen. Go out after work. Go out during the week. Don't make excuses. Fight the good fight. I got a better idea. If you're thinking that being in the arms of another is going to make you feel happy the rest of your life, then you're smoking something. How about feeling good about being alone? How about feeling good about who you are and that your life's happiness does not depend on being in the arms of another person. How about learning to accept yourself, be happy with a life you can build that doesn't depend on the approval or acceptance of another... thennnnnnn maybe being in the arms of another is just icing on the cake? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jimmyjackson Posted December 14, 2014 Author Share Posted December 14, 2014 When i feel like this i imagine how i would feel if i had a new beautiful girl in my arms and ask myself if in that moment would I feel the same as I do currently. If no, then the feelings are not so much for your ex (maybe still a little) but for the fact that you miss the emotion and want something new to attach them on to. But the ex was the most recent so you will always think of them when missing the emotion too. Double Whammy. If you want something, make it happen. Go out after work. Go out during the week. Don't make excuses. Fight the good fight. I just thought about what you said and it makes sense. I think the fact she was my first girlfriend and the only girl I've slept with probably makes it feel more meaningful. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tatalizer Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 I just thought about what you said and it makes sense. I think the fact she was my first girlfriend and the only girl I've slept with probably makes it feel more meaningful. I can feel yourvpain man. But no matter it was your first girlfriend, or you had a lot more experiences, if you break up with someone you really care about, the pain is going to be the same. After 2 years relationship, my ex girlfriend suddenly went on a date with a new guy only a day after we broke up, and that is so much worse. Because not only the feeling pain from getting dumped, i also felt betrayed too. One thing you need to accept within yourself is you're no longer together with her, and what's she doing now is not our business anymore. Maybe in the future (months or years from now) you might have a chance to be with her again, but definitely not any time soon. So chin up! Try harder to get over this. Stop finding information about her from your friends, and unfollow her on all social media sites. Go hang out more with friends, and try to reason with yourself when you're alone. Healing yourself first then it still not too late if you are looking for another date again! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jimmyjackson Posted December 15, 2014 Author Share Posted December 15, 2014 It's a year ago to this day we had our first date, feeling slightly sentimental Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 It's a year ago to this day we had our first date, feeling slightly sentimental Thats understandable, but keep telling yourself that you will get over it, because you will. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jimmyjackson Posted December 15, 2014 Author Share Posted December 15, 2014 Thats understandable, but keep telling yourself that you will get over it, because you will. I know that's what I keep doing! so much can happen in a year it's so strange how things pan out... Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 If it makes you feel any better, in about 10 years, you'll barely remember her. Experience speaking here. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jimmyjackson Posted December 17, 2014 Author Share Posted December 17, 2014 Yesterday I went out for dinner with my friends, a year ago to the day that I had my first date with her. I didn't realise until I got to the place that it was where we had our first date. I felt a little sentimental at the time and felt like contacting her to say it had been a year and by chance I was at the restaurant where it all started for us. I managed to resist though, once the emotions settled and I thought about it logically I knew it would be pointless to get in touch. Link to post Share on other sites
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