beyondcrushed Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 So my old friend (who is a colleague) is throwing a party tomorrow night to thank all his friends who were there for him through his very difficult separation from his wife. The friend invited some people from work, except me. I mention it to the friend and he says he didn't invite me because my exbf will be there. The exbf is the one from the summer who threatened the welfare of my child, has an emotionally intimate relationship with another woman, hits me and calls the police on me. My friend then invites me and encourages me to go. I tell him its ok, I don't want to see the exbf and I would have to get a babysitter anyway. The friend really urges me to go, to get a sitter and go. He said to go to support him, and to not let my exbf control what I do. I have been doing everything in my power to avoid my exbf since July and have done so successfully. I have a new job and don't have to work with him. I see him once in a blue moon down the hall but don't really look. For me to go to a PARTY with him there will make me feel really awkward and uncomfortable. Why put myself in that situation? I don't have to prove anything to anyone, especially the exbf (in terms of showing him how hot I am, what he's missing, that I'm not afraid of him, that I can be friends with our mutual friends). But on the other hand, I don't want to give the exbf so much power over my life. I should associate with our mutual friends if he's there. What would you do readers? What have you done??
CarrieT Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Don't go. There will be other parties and a future where you are still not so bruised and bandaged. It can wait and if they are true friends, they will understand. 3
The Poster Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 It all depends on you. Will you get mad or upset when you see him? Can you handle being around him? If you truly feel like being in the same room as him wouldn't matter then go and have fun. But if you truly feel being in the same room as him will drive you crazy or bring up bad feelings, then stay away. You have to do what's best for you.
whichwayisup Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Don't go. Just for your own sanity. Not going will make you feel better! Going will stress you out and make you feel awkward and uncomfortable. Who cares what your ex thinks. You have no control over that anyway. 1
Author beyondcrushed Posted December 13, 2014 Author Posted December 13, 2014 Don't go. There will be other parties and a future where you are still not so bruised and bandaged. It can wait and if they are true friends, they will understand. This is true. There will be other times I can be with this friend without him there. Thanks.
Author beyondcrushed Posted December 13, 2014 Author Posted December 13, 2014 It all depends on you. Will you get mad or upset when you see him? Can you handle being around him? If you truly feel like being in the same room as him wouldn't matter then go and have fun. But if you truly feel being in the same room as him will drive you crazy or bring up bad feelings, then stay away. You have to do what's best for you. I won't be able to handle it at first. I think it will drive me nuts. then I will be fine. I think i should just stay away until I feel absolutely nothing. then go to another party. thanks.
Author beyondcrushed Posted December 13, 2014 Author Posted December 13, 2014 Don't go. Just for your own sanity. Not going will make you feel better! Going will stress you out and make you feel awkward and uncomfortable. Who cares what your ex thinks. You have no control over that anyway. That is soooo true too -- I have no control over what he thinks. And who gives a flying f. I will do what's right for me. Not go. Thanks and thanks everyone!!
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