What if you make the same mistakes more than once?

[Chatmonkey]

One thing that annoys me is when you feel you have made some of the same mistakes in the most recent relationship that contributed to its demise, as you did in your previous relationship.

 

I recognised the mistakes I made after the first time, but somehow they happened again and I almost feel foolish now to try convince myself that I have learned from them again and will not let it happen in the future.

 

 

 

Anyone else experienced this?

[The Poster]

One thing that annoys me is when you feel you have made some of the same mistakes in the most recent relationship that contributed to its demise, as you did in your previous relationship.

 

I recognised the mistakes I made after the first time, but somehow they happened again and I almost feel foolish now to try convince myself that I have learned from them again and will not let it happen in the future.

 

 

 

Anyone else experienced this?

 

Yes, I have anxiety issues that get way worse when I'm in a relationship. My first one, that ended over three years ago, caused me to act in a way in which I couldn't even recognize myself. I was controlling, pushy and rude to her because I was overcompensating for my constant worry, fear and paranoia. I was subconsciously doing those things because I wasn't comfortable with myself.

 

I learned not to be controlling or rude this time around, only loving and caring, but I was still constantly worried and fearful all the time. There were times when she didn't text me for a while and my anxiety would explode on the scene with all kinds of worry and questions (I kept this bottled up for the most part, she never knew some of the things I was thinking). There was never anything wrong going on, but anxiety will do that to you. This was a short relationship, and it wasn't really the reason she walked away, but it was definitely there.

 

It became a wake up call for me. That I need to put serious effort, energy and time into fixing those things so I can be more like the loving, caring, positive person I know I am. Sometimes in life, pain and anguish causes you to look hard at yourself and forces you to make the changes you need to make.

 

"The setting for personal transformation is often found at the end of your rope."

 

That's my mantra right now.

[Satu]

When we keep ending up in the same uncomfortable situations, it just means that there's something in us that needs to be healed or resolved.

 

Human Beings are self-healing. Our biology, nature, and psyche, have a very powerful self-healing capacity.

 

When we discover something that needs healing we should call upon those resources.

 

We can block that healing by judging ourselves harshly, but if we take a more loving view of ourselves, the blocks dissolve and we heal.

 

In the centre of all of us is something of indescribable beauty and purity.

 

We just have to listen to what it says.

 

Be Well.

[Satu]

Yes, I have anxiety issues that get way worse when I'm in a relationship. My first one, that ended over three years ago, caused me to act in a way in which I couldn't even recognize myself. I was controlling, pushy and rude to her because I was overcompensating for my constant worry, fear and paranoia. I was subconsciously doing those things because I wasn't comfortable with myself.

 

I learned not to be controlling or rude this time around, only loving and caring, but I was still constantly worried and fearful all the time. There were times when she didn't text me for a while and my anxiety would explode on the scene with all kinds of worry and questions (I kept this bottled up for the most part, she never knew some of the things I was thinking). There was never anything wrong going on, but anxiety will do that to you. This was a short relationship, and it wasn't really the reason she walked away, but it was definitely there.

 

It became a wake up call for me. That I need to put serious effort, energy and time into fixing those things so I can be more like the loving, caring, positive person I know I am. Sometimes in life, pain and anguish causes you to look hard at yourself and forces you to make the changes you need to make.

 

"The setting for personal transformation is often found at the end of your rope."

 

That's my mantra right now.

 

Carl Jung said, "Where your wound is you will also find your genius."

 

Thats proved to be true for me.

[Elle1975]

Then you are in a pattern that you need to break, and you might need professional help to do so. I however would say, if you have identified your problem, it's half your battle right there.

[annisk]

May I suggest you look into karmic relationships.