Darren2013 Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 It is very much possible and that could very well be where I'm at. That's part of the reason I keep distance from my crush. There's more than one reason I keep a distance from her really. I feel like I'm in a catch 22 situation. In other words if she isn't crushing back on me that's bad news. If she is crushing on me and I ever find that out definitively then I would get uncomfortable because then the thought runs through my mind like where's this going to lead? How is my life going to change? What is she going to expect from me? We would all like to fall in love on our terms because then we could keep our comfort zone. When you fall in love unexpectedly then your life is going to change and if you are a person who is afraid of change like I am then you'll have to make up your mind to choose between giving up your comfort zone or giving up an opportunity at a wonderful relationship no matter how long or short it would have lasted if you had gone for it. For me I feel much more comfortable just crushing on her and admiring her from a distance never really knowing what she thinks about me. As long as I am more interested in staying comfortable then perhaps it is better to not know what she feels because there's disadvantages either way whether the feelings are mutual or not. I don't mind helping her out with carrying stuff or offering to get her food if I happen to go somewhere on my breaks. If she stops accepting favors then fine I will stop offering. I have been single for almost 4 years so hopefully most would understand that by now I have gotten used to it and used to the routine amount of freedom I have being single and not being accountable to any woman. I think the cancer diagnosis in 2012 was another element that made me even more grateful for my freedom as a single man. I encourage some of the younger guys I work with to not be in a big hurry to sign away their freedom by getting into a relationship. I mean I know how lonely it can be sometimes but try to remember the benefits you have over people in relationships and appreciate them because the time may come when you fall in love, get into a relationship or worse get married and you will think to yourself "I wish I had my single freedom back as my life was much easier and less stressful". For every person on this board who is single and wishing they were in a relationship there are others in a relationship who miss the single life. Life is full of change and some changes we can avoid while others we cannot. I have more opportunity to save money and be secured for early retirement. That day could come a year from now, 2 years from now, months from now or tomorrow depending on how the illness runs its course. I personally feel that being single at the time of the cancer diagnosis was good timing because I'm not so sure I would want my girlfriend to take care of me. I would not want her to see me hooked up on that chemotherapy machine. It would be disgusting for her to see me like that. So yeah anyone can get used to anything and be afraid of change even if the change is good change. People stay in jobs longer than they like sometimes because they are comfortable and afraid of change. Same with other areas of life., 1
Danda Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 I think so, sure. I've had a few fleeting dabbles in dating during, but have been single for over three years now. I mostly feel like an apathetic, awkward joke trying to do OLD, and out in public I don't really have any motivation to actually talk to guys that seem attractive to me. Once in a while I have a phase where I'm just like **** I haven't been in laid in forever but that's about it. It's like I like the idea of having a partner that's a good match for me, but dating itself is such a drag. Being single feels dumpy in its own way, but there is definitely a sort of normalcy to it for me by now. 2
MercuryMorrison1 Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 There are pro's and con's to both dating and being single. And yes they are both adaptable and something you can get used to. You just have to decide which lifestyle you would rather live. 1
Mister Zen Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 In today's society men are better off single. Women are not stupid, they seek men who put them on a pedestal. Smart women let the foolish man think he is "alpha" but steadily drains his bank account and sperm so he is on the hook for child support for 20 years...meanwhile the man stupidly thinks he is "alpha" because he "got the girl". This is what society has become for men. The man who does not willingly pursue slavery under a woman is no man at all in society's eyes. That men don't realize this is testimony to how clueless many men have become. Its pretty much a given that most men these days are proud and chest thumping thinking they have "control" of their lives and their women when their wives are shaging 3 dudes at once on the side (I've been one of those dudes on the side many times). Then when she files for no fault divorce and takes his house and kids he acts "surprised". His ego investment in himself has been shattered and he is near suicidal. This is the ignorance of the modern man.. he thinks he is far smarter than he really is. 1
mario_C Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 Being single is tough, but it's been rewarding in a lot of ways. I get to design exactly the life I want, and reap the benefits (or learn from the consequences, as it may be). When it ends, I feel confident it will be for the right person (or a bunch of good ones ). I'm sorry to hear about you being sick, no doubt that puts all the BS into perspective...
Gloria25 Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 I think so, sure. I've had a few fleeting dabbles in dating during, but have been single for over three years now. I mostly feel like an apathetic, awkward joke trying to do OLD, and out in public I don't really have any motivation to actually talk to guys that seem attractive to me. Once in a while I have a phase where I'm just like **** I haven't been in laid in forever but that's about it. It's like I like the idea of having a partner that's a good match for me, but dating itself is such a drag. Being single feels dumpy in its own way, but there is definitely a sort of normalcy to it for me by now. I hear ya, going on the 3 year mark in a few months... I'm also getting lazy when it comes to OLD. Sometimes I'll chat with them, then just do a fade or cancel just when I work up to meeting them. I could use some d*&k... But, at the same time, don't want to be bothered. Sometimes all the work you gotta put into getting d*&k isn't worth it. And yeah, you just get into a routine... 1
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