ShadowKnight Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 We dated for a couple months but literally NEVER hung out because she was always "busy" i brought it up a couple times and she would always say "of course i want to hang out with you but im just really busy" and i was dumb enough to stay with her. Still found a way to fall in love with her because of extremely small things (damnit.) Long story short she broke up with me a week and a half after she literally cried over me potentially having to switch schools saying "it isn't there for me any more" and "theres nothing you did and nothing you could do". Of course since everything happened so quickly i made myself look like an idiot trying to get her back for a while. When I finally gave up I sent her this text about a month ago. It's long but it was supposed to be because it's the last I ever plan on sending her. "Just remember that no matter how much I got on your nerves, whatever, i care about you more than any other guy ever will and all you wouldve had to do to be happy with me or for it to be there for you is to spend time with me but u couldnt do that because you dont like the idea of putting in effort for someone else. Call me desperate crazy, idc because I love you and I don't know why but I do know that I couldve made you happy given an actual chance. Just remember that if you ever think it was a mistake leaving and never looking back or not really trying in the first place, it was. No one will love you like I did, put up with yur **** like I did or ****ing be me because in a world where no one stays i stayed 4 months longer than I should have and even as I say this if you ever decide to text me because you somehow miss me Ill probably be dumb enough to text back." no, she didn't respond but I know she read it by how her best friend stared in my soul the next couple days at school. we haven't talked to each other and only make eye contact every now and then and her staring at me here and there. My question is did it kill any chance of her coming back?
Art_Critic Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 My question is did it kill any chance of her coming back? put up with yur **** like I did or ****ing be me because in a world where no one stays i stayed 4 months longer than I should have and even as I say this if you ever decide to text me because you somehow miss me Ill probably be dumb enough to text back." Yeah.. afraid so... time to spend your time looking for someone else, this one isn't coming back. Sorry.. 1
Author ShadowKnight Posted December 12, 2014 Author Posted December 12, 2014 Oh well, I dont regret it. It was exactly how I felt. 3
todreaminblue Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 if she truly loves you she would come back in spite of what you wrote in spite of what you didnt write...if you love someone and that person loves you......theres always a way...but...in saying that...if two people are not meant to be together ultimately they wont be...waiting around for a relationship to reignite a flame that was meant to be doused for good is a waste of time.....live your life regardless of the outcome you expect..grive while you need to but live your life.......and time will tell......what you wrote is yesterday..today is time to let go.....and tomorrow ...is a whole different ball game....leave god to the umpire.....he will decide the play of ball...it will always be a fair game that way...he never does a wrong call......deb 1
irresolute Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 If you felt better sending that text, I wouldn't regret it. However, from what you wrote she was never into you so sending that text was not a good option. She doesn't care what you feel, so why wasting your time in someone like she? 2
RedButton Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 I don't think one text is enough to break things. If she wants to she'll come back, but be prepared that she doesn't and may not come back too. If she doesn't there's more reasons for that than a text sent after the breakup. Having said that, if you make this a behaviour, then it will become a reason to not come back. 2
Satu Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 no, she didn't respond but I know she read it by how her best friend stared in my soul the next couple days at school. we haven't talked to each other and only make eye contact every now and then and her staring at me here and there. My question is did it kill any chance of her coming back? What makes you think that there was a chance of her coming back? I see none. If someone tells you its over it is over. I think that strict no contact is your best option. After a while you'll be ready for a better relationship. 1
Author ShadowKnight Posted December 14, 2014 Author Posted December 14, 2014 Thanks everybody for the replies. I'm not waiting around for anything I just felt bad for a bit thinking I was a bit too harsh but like I said oh well, I'll find someone better eventually and she will be an afterthought. 1
DenverDude Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 "saying "it isn't there for me any more" and "theres nothing you did and nothing you could do"." My guess is that there was someone else in the picture. Parts of your text really exposed some weaknesses in you, however with that said, if you feel good about sending it than more power to you! Now is the time to practice what you preach and stick to your NC guns. Good luck bro. 1
Halcyon Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 Last time I received a text like that was some years ago when I started dating someone but felt something was off and called it off after the 4th date. I received a text like that (minus the I love you stuff of course) all it did was reaffirm I had made the right choice in bailing... to me it comes off as very insecure and controlling which are not exactly desirable traits (for most people at least). Sorry I don't think she will be coming back. The more important question why would you want to be with someone like that? Your self respect is worth more than that. 1
erklat Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 (edited) I lashed out on my ex way more than that, insulted her pretty bad, but she already broke my heart at that time, we were dating almost the same as you did but spent time together every day and I invested emotionally and financially in her. Stick to NC. You told only the truth. You will never know, people reconcile all the time even after worse **** than what you and I did, but even if you come into position it will be long overdue when you develop feelings for someone else. Edited December 14, 2014 by erklat 1
Author ShadowKnight Posted December 14, 2014 Author Posted December 14, 2014 And btw the only reason I sent this text was because we became "friends" a couple days before but in that i said we should hang out once or twice pretty soon and she kinda ignored that part so later on I asked if she agreed to it and ignored me. Then I sent it.. 1
todreaminblue Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 And btw the only reason I sent this text was because we became "friends" a couple days before but in that i said we should hang out once or twice pretty soon and she kinda ignored that part so later on I asked if she agreed to it and ignored me. Then I sent it.. dont let posters make you feel bad for what you wrote...you were honest....and that is all that matters......they might not have sent the message you did......but you sent it and feeling bad about it....isnt going to do you any good...you need to live your life...what was yesterday will only be improved on..........deb
Halcyon Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 dont let posters make you feel bad for what you wrote...you were honest....and that is all that matters......they might not have sent the message you did......but you sent it and feeling bad about it....isnt going to do you any good...you need to live your life...what was yesterday will only be improved on..........deb You can only learn from acknowledging your own faults. This message showed OP has a lot of growth to do and is not surprising considering they are still in school. I wasn't trying to dis OP but I was expressing how I felt and how it might make others feel to receive a message like that which is most likely negatively. I'm don't feed false hope because I believe that is cruel. If OP can take wisdom away from this that it may not be the best way to react in future that is a good thing I think. There is a time and place for been honest and after a breakup venting your insecurities and angry feelings at your ex is a mostly pointless exercise. What I think is a much healthier alternative is talking to a good friend or family member you trust. If not maybe starting a journal and writing everything you feel down. Write a angry letter to your ex but never send it I think these are better outlets. You can't control the outcome of a breakup but you can leave one with your pride intact and not feel silly about things you do in the heat of the moment. Live and learn, don't make the same mistakes twice.
todreaminblue Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 You can only learn from acknowledging your own faults. This message showed OP has a lot of growth to do and is not surprising considering they are still in school. I wasn't trying to dis OP but I was expressing how I felt and how it might make others feel to receive a message like that which is most likely negatively. I'm don't feed false hope because I believe that is cruel. If OP can take wisdom away from this that it may not be the best way to react in future that is a good thing I think. There is a time and place for been honest and after a breakup venting your insecurities and angry feelings at your ex is a mostly pointless exercise. What I think is a much healthier alternative is talking to a good friend or family member you trust. If not maybe starting a journal and writing everything you feel down. Write a angry letter to your ex but never send it I think these are better outlets. You can't control the outcome of a breakup but you can leave one with your pride intact and not feel silly about things you do in the heat of the moment. Live and learn, don't make the same mistakes twice. Live and learn, don't make the same mistakes twice. this i agree with.....cheers...deb
Author ShadowKnight Posted December 15, 2014 Author Posted December 15, 2014 I was taken for granted pretty much the whole time we were together.. Her sister told her she was moving to california in a few weeks and she texted me saying she was crying about it so I spent 2 hours cheering her up making her laugh all that telling her I would always be there for her no matter what always being the one to tell her how much I adored her for different reasons and how special she was (still is :/) to me. All that with not a whole lot in return besides her going through the motions of it all.Then, a few weeks before we break up, things start to change and I finally feel happy with her "you're so important to me" "you make me so happy you know that right?" "Hopefully you're a part of my future" like I said she literally was bawling her eyes out when I said I was supposed to be switching schools the next week. A week later it's like she doesn't want me around, a week and a half later we break up and it's like she never knew me, I'm a stranger to her she says "I'm not happy and I don't want this to happen again or something else go wrong." I tried to say whatever she didnt like could be fixed "Yeah because you know everything I feel and everything going on in my life right now" Out.Of.Nowhere. I just got through with with one of the biggest lessons of my life that effort doesn't always equal appreciation, love or loyalty from someone else in one of the hardest ways possible. Now, I sit at school trying to find someone else to start talking to and I wonder why I dont have feelings for anyone else and I see her and I realize why because my heart is still with her, seeing her still makes me numb and I hate it because it's making it so much harder for me to move on. So maybe I was immature for saying some of the stuff I said i probably was but I also know that I could have said a lot of worse things that I bit my tongue on and let go but still find a way to be satisfied with it so for that I'm proud because now I know that if either of us are to have regrets about how it went down for us, it will be her because I have done everything in my power for her and I know she can't say the same. And if she ever does regret it I hope it's when it's too late.
Author ShadowKnight Posted December 15, 2014 Author Posted December 15, 2014 Me trying to respond to one response sorta led to me ending up ranting sorry and I know my grammar may not be perfect...
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