spiderowl Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 When you meet someone new and you like them, what is it that makes you feel more 'connected' to them as a person? Obviously, we can be attracted to the physical and to their personality, charm, or whatever, but what is it that makes us feel a real connection?
d0nnivain Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 Laughter is a big connector for me. So is the ability to talk about anything & everything. I pay attention to whether I feel safe around them, emotionally & physically. 2
Gpc2013 Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 Yeah, sharing a similar sense of humor does it for me. Getting each other's jokes, finding the same stuff funny, not being able to make eye contact in certain (supposedly serious) situations because you know you'll both crack up.
Author spiderowl Posted December 16, 2014 Author Posted December 16, 2014 That's great! I hadn't thought of laughter as being a connector but of course it is. It does make a difference to share the same sense of humour. I suppose I start to feel more connected when people start to share feelings a bit more, although sometimes it can create distance too if they start to seem weird!
todreaminblue Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 i feel a connection when i see we have the same ideals.....same beliefs about humanity in general.....i like a guy who looks deeper than the surface......who sees things others might not......the only way i develop this connection is to get to know them better and it develops over time.......i like thinkers who like to question and study.......who can broaden my mind with their perspectives...that may be similar to mine or not at all similar......but as far as compassion for others goes....that has to be there ......or it would not work out..i cant be with someone who doesnt feel compassion for others....it would be a constant battle.....as it was with my first ex....his compassion for others was inconsistent....and often selfishly motivated...the connection i felt was lost...i kept trying to see the good......and it was there....but we fought all the time...i defended others against him..and felt i had to defend.....i dont want to feel that sort of connection where i am against a partner and his behavior towards others........deb 2
shet Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 Shared sense of humour, shared ideals, general openness. Interest in me and my life from them. 1
Gaeta Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 I am casually seeing 2 men. They both have the same age, same height, same fit, very similar men. One is an engineer and the other a nurse. The engineer is very cerebral and analytic. He likes to exchange but on current affairs, trips, work etc. The nurse is warmer, he is very human for lack of better words, our conversations have more depth, he listens better, and his eye contacts are deeper and more sincere. For these reasons I feel more connected with the nurse. 1
Author spiderowl Posted December 16, 2014 Author Posted December 16, 2014 I am casually seeing 2 men. They both have the same age, same height, same fit, very similar men. One is an engineer and the other a nurse. The engineer is very cerebral and analytic. He likes to exchange but on current affairs, trips, work etc. The nurse is warmer, he is very human for lack of better words, our conversations have more depth, he listens better, and his eye contacts are deeper and more sincere. For these reasons I feel more connected with the nurse. Interesting, I don't know how you cope with two, but maybe it's the best of both worlds?
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