Jord11 Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 I've been seeing this girl or well was we hit it off pretty good the other morning out if nowhere she told me she was confused about the whole relationship she told me she wasn't ready we went from pretty much dating too lets just be friends, should I keep talking to her and see where it goes or just disappear Al together, I'm pretty shocked and surprised of what happened I don't even know what to think, is she just stringing me along because she doesn't want me out of her life ?
BC1980 Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 I've been seeing this girl or well was we hit it off pretty good the other morning out if nowhere she told me she was confused about the whole relationship she told me she wasn't ready we went from pretty much dating too lets just be friends, should I keep talking to her and see where it goes or just disappear Al together, I'm pretty shocked and surprised of what happened I don't even know what to think, is she just stringing me along because she doesn't want me out of her life ? How long was the relationship? I doubt she actually wants to be friends. People usually say that to be nice, not because they want to develop an actual friendship with you. 2
SoThatHappened Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 I've had that happen as well. Walk away. I had 4 good dates with a girl who was totally digging me. Then a switch went off in her head on the 5th date. I could just see it in her eyes and actions. (I was also an emotional wreck inside, so there was no spark on my end). She told me that I'm a nice guy but there's no spark. I fought for her a little, then asked her if we could just grab a beer one night. She said "OK that'll be great!" When it came time to meetup for a beer, she bailed. You can't flip that switch back once it's been turned off, at least not right away. 2
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 Dude. You joined the same time I did. I remember you!! What's your story since March 2013??
Author Jord11 Posted December 12, 2014 Author Posted December 12, 2014 Dude. You joined the same time I did. I remember you!! What's your story since March 2013?? Same old problem with girls man haha so frustrating!
Author Jord11 Posted December 12, 2014 Author Posted December 12, 2014 How long was the relationship? I doubt she actually wants to be friends. People usually say that to be nice, not because they want to develop an actual friendship with you. She told me she doesn't want me out of her life so that's all she can give me right now is friends
CurlyTraveller Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 OP I think we need a bit more information to make a call on this one Eg How long were you dating? How serious was it? Etc
Author Jord11 Posted December 12, 2014 Author Posted December 12, 2014 OP I think we need a bit more information to make a call on this one Eg How long were you dating? How serious was it? Etc It wasn't very long, I think we both moved too fast on it but that's the way it went then she put the breaks on and I got let's be friends
Author Jord11 Posted December 12, 2014 Author Posted December 12, 2014 It wasn't very long, I think we both moved too fast on it but that's the way it went then she put the breaks on and I got let's be friends I forgot to mention she has a 2 year old girl and she loved me which hurts even more
Elle1975 Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 NC, no brainer. What do you think is gonna happen when she is with a new guy? "Let's be friends" is a way to let you go slowly but surely. 2
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 ^^^ +1. She wants to cake eat. Forget it. Have you taken any time to address your own issues? You will have the same thing happen to you over and over again until you at least attempt to fix it on your end!!
irresolute Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 She's not into you and you've been friend zoned aka she has no desire or respect for you. Walk away, once you're friend zoned there's nothing you can do to change that fact. 1
BC1980 Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 She told me she doesn't want me out of her life so that's all she can give me right now is friends I still wouldn't take what she is saying at face value because her actions have demonstrated that she isn't sure of what she wants. I would stay away for now. Keep her at arms length, and I have a feeling she will eventually fade away and not contact you again.
BC1980 Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 (edited) I forgot to mention she has a 2 year old girl and she loved me which hurts even more It's always more complicated with a child involved. Unfortunately, it doesn't really matter if her daughter liked you or not if you aren't together anymore. You need to move on from both. I've talked several times about my ex's son and asked for advice from the forum about keeping in contact with him. I was with my ex's son everyday for nearly 3 years. Honestly, he was like my own child, but it no longer matters. Does it make the fallout worse? Yes. But it doesn't negate the fact that you can no longer have contact with either of them. There are other members who have been in similar situations, and it always hurts much worse when kids are involved. I don't think there is a way to mitigate that fact quite honestly. I think you just have to take it as part of the experience and try to move on from it. Edited December 12, 2014 by BC1980
Conqueror36 Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 Usually when they want to be friends it's because they're the one that break up with you and want to feel better about it don't give in. Friends with your ex never work out. I have an ex that I just broke up with and 2 months later I learned that it was because she cheated. After she knows that I know she keep saying that she's sorry and that she really hope to stay friends. Don't give them the pleasure of that, let their guilt haunt them. 1
erklat Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 I've been seeing this girl or well was we hit it off pretty good the other morning out if nowhere she told me she was confused about the whole relationship she told me she wasn't ready we went from pretty much dating too lets just be friends, should I keep talking to her and see where it goes or just disappear Al together, I'm pretty shocked and surprised of what happened I don't even know what to think, is she just stringing me along because she doesn't want me out of her life ? With that woman you can be either romantic partner or a failed romantic partner. I don't see how would you add friendship in any sensible manner to that picture.
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