I'm not feeling pain anymore but I just feel lots of regrets, guilt and nostalgia

[nickoburkosin]

I think I was dating the perfect guy.

 

I moved in with him after only 2 months that we met for real and we also got married.

I was very independent before, I am 23 btw and he's 22. ( it was my first serious relationship)

 

After months I became another person, I became so dependent and needy with him.

I also made big deals and silly fights

He was a bit possessive, I stopped using Instagram and taking photos on Facebook because he asked me, I also stopped talking with my friends so I wouldn't get in trouble with him.

 

After 4 months of living together he asked me to move out because he wanted to miss me and wanted to save the relationship, he started being very cold and indifferent three weeks before after a trip with his family whilst we were still living together.

 

I was so hurt when he asked me to move out and I became kinda a pain in the arse with him

 

I moved to a studio close where he works, but he started ignoring me a lot, and I was the one who was making the effort to hang out, so I sent him a text and told him that I wanted to break up and I would rather us being friend and he agreed

 

I couldn't sleep and eat so 2 days later I told him that I loved him so much and that I wanted to fight for the relationship but he told me that no, that he was not in love with me anymore :'( that he wanted us to move on

 

3 weeks later I found out that he was going out with someone else but I am still not sure

 

I really wanna get over it but I can't stop felling guilty because of the breakup and I'm having problems with my studies, and life in general, I'm suffering depression and I have sometimes suicidal thoughts.

 

He was an amazing person, the sweetest guy in the world, he helped me a looooooooot in many ways, he even saved my life and I feel my actions were not reciprocated and he got tired and felt out of love with me, so it's all my fault and I accept it.

 

I'm not feeling pain anymore but I just feel lots of regrets, guilt and nostalgia.

I also did good things to him, like amazing surprises, support, and I believed ( or I want to believe) I made him happy once

 

What can I do????

[Satu]

If you are having suicidal thoughts you should see your doctor as soon as possible.

 

Everything other than that is of secondary importance.

 

Sorry to be so terse, but seeing your doctor should be your next step.

 

Take care of yourself, which means:

 

Eat enough and eat healthy.

 

Drink enough water.

 

Get enough sleep. If you're not sleeping, tell your doctor.

 

Exercise a little - easy rather than hard, walking is OK.

 

Talk to the appropriate person in your university or college. They will probably be able to arrange some form of support and/or counselling for you.

 

Post here as much as you like. People here are very helpful.

 

All the best.

[MovingOnIsHard]

Did you say you married him aftrr 2 months of being together?

 

Sounds like a very precarious situation. My ex said it was unusual for me not to move in with him after 3 months of being together. In my head, im like "wtf? For real?" Waay to soon.

 

The best thing is to walk away from this person and move on. If you are struggling with other aspects in your life, consider seeing a therapist. That's what i did and it helps a lot.

[Chi townD]

Listen to me and listen good. No guy is worth ending your life over. NOT ONE! Especially not this douche rocket. He kicked you out and got a new girlfriend. Here's the rub, this girl was around the same time you were. Hard to bring the new girlfriend home when the old one is currently living there.

 

 

This guy did you wrong. Okay, yeah...you were very possessive and a little clingy. But, you couldn't have been that bad if he had the time to find someone else. You didn't deserve that.

 

 

You need to see a doctor. Get on anti-depressants and talk to professional counselors. There's absolutely nothing wrong with going on medication to get you through the tough times. And if you feel like you're going to hurt yourself, then get to the hospital!!!!

 

 

This guy isn't worth the pain your in right now. You need to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Time to heal and move on from this. Trust me when I say this to you. I PROMISE you that there are guys out there that know how to treat a girl right. And you have to view this as just one more heartbreak before you meet the person you are truly meant to be with.

 

 

This asshat isn't it. You deserve better.

[nickoburkosin]

Thank you so much for your replies.

 

We were separated 800 kms away, and we visited each other over the weekends, but we were spending a lot of money in flights so we decided that I would move in with him and his flatmates, ( we found our own place one month later) I left my job behind, and that caused a lot of stress from the beginning.

 

I am living in New Zealand but I am not from here, I don't have family here and a few of friends, another reason we got married was to apply for a partner visa but fortunately I got a sponsor from my work.

 

It has been about two months since we broke up and I can't get over it, its hard to see that he's happier now without me and also sad to know that he felt a big relief after I moved out, he used to tell me how horrible was his ex, she used him a lot, she used his money, didn't allow him to see his friends, and compared him with another guys, even once she told him to change his look so he could look like a guy she had a crush on ( like seriously wtf)

I know I was clingy and needy but I always respected him and I made him my priority, maybe I guess that was a big MISTAKE

 

I just cant understand how someone who loved me a lot and cared about me, could feel out of love very quick and treat me so horrible like All the memories and good times we had together, never happened.

 

2 weeks after the break up was my birthday

 

In two weeks will be xmas and I am scared that I am gonna spend it by myself, as I said before I don't have family here, and his friends were my friends too; I have tried to make friends for the last weeks.

 

Thanks again for all your advices!