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I think my ex is trying contact me by her roommate on to my bestfriend.

youcanever

By youcanever
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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youcanever Established Member

youcanever

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Posted (edited)

I've moved to a new small city due to education 1.5 months ago. I've met this girl and we dated for 4 weeks till I broke up with her. I've seen lots of red flags. These were;

 

1-She was still talking to her ex when we met and she threw him like a garbage after 1.5 weeks when we started dating. She likes keeping people on the hook till someone better comes.

2- She was flirting with a guy in the first week of our relationship and wrote him stuff like "If you were here, things would be different." Then she stopped talking to him too. Another hook.

3- She was keeping her another ex on the hook in case of emergency. I saw messages that she told him she still has feelings for him at the first week of our relationship. And guy was surprised because she told him that she is over him before. After that message she skyped him and told him that she has a new relationship and he should be out of her life. She just destroyed that guy's emotions just to keep him on hook as well till she meets me.

4- I also saw that she has a 40 year old friend who travels a lot and I saw a message that she wrote him "Hey, we were going to Thailand together". Then guy replied like "Next time." A 22 year old girl going abroad for holiday with 40 year old guy. That didn't seem normal to me.

 

She was very caring and lovely during our relationship but I just lost my trust on her as I saw these red flags and at the end my heart just got frozen and I had to end it. She devastated as she said but 2 days ago I saw that she updated her facebook photo and she seem pretty happy.

 

Anyway, she has a roommate and I have a roommate. At the beginning of the relationship we set our roommates. My roommate liked her but she didn't like him. Like 10 days ago my roommate sent text to her but she didn't reply. Yesterday she sent him a text that "Hey, I couldn't write you. My interviews went positive. How are you? How have you been?" My friend replied her today that "I am okay, having my studies. I am happy that your interviews went great. I knew you will be succesful." Then she replied. "Thank you :)How is OP doing? I heard that OP and OP's gf broke up :(. OP's gf seem very upset. I am sorry for them." My friend haven't replied her yet.

 

I guess my ex is trying to contact me by her roommate because I was a lil harsh breaking up. I told her NO, THIS IS IT. And ended it. She wanted to meet me, texted me, called me, but nothing. It was over for me.

 

I miss her time to time but my gut tell me that I shouldn't get back with her. But on the other hand my friend suggest me to just bang her and don't catch feeling. Just enjoy myself and don't get involved much.

 

She is also going to another city in 8 months, so what I believe is, I am her plan A till that time and when she goes that city, she will find someone else. And that time I'll be devastated.

 

I am not sure what to do. How can I be with a girl without catching feelings? Or should I just ignore her? What should my friend write her roommate?

Edited by youcanever
  • Like 1
SoThatHappened Established Member

SoThatHappened

Posted
Posted

Bravo to you for seeing the red flags and getting out. Those are HUGE red flags. If you would have ignored them and continued the relationship, your life would've been a mess.

 

Run far away from that girl. It's self-preservation for you.

 

I didn't run away from a girl with major red flags and suffered for it.

 

DO NOT use her for a physical relationship. You will catch feelings. Just ignore her. Tell your roommate to tell her roommate that he doesn't feel they should be talking about the relationship, and that he doesn't want to be a go-between.

  • Like 3
lauri Established Member

lauri

Posted
Posted
I've moved to a new small city due to education 1.5 months ago. I've met this girl and we dated for 4 weeks till I broke up with her. I've seen lots of red flags. These were;

 

1-She was still talking to her ex when we met and she threw him like a garbage after 1.5 weeks when we started dating. She likes keeping people on the hook till someone better comes.

2- She was flirting with a guy in the first week of our relationship and wrote him stuff like "If you were here, things would be different." Then she stopped talking to him too. Another hook.

3- She was keeping her another ex on the hook in case of emergency. I saw messages that she told him she still has feelings for him at the first week of our relationship. And guy was surprised because she told him that she is over him before. After that message she skyped him and told him that she has a new relationship and he should be out of her life. She just destroyed that guy's emotions just to keep him on hook as well till she meets me.

4- I also saw that she has a 40 year old friend who travels a lot and I saw a message that she wrote him "Hey, we were going to Thailand together". Then guy replied like "Next time." A 22 year old girl going abroad for holiday with 40 year old guy. That didn't seem normal to me.

 

She was very caring and lovely during our relationship but I just lost my trust on her as I saw these red flags and at the end my heart just got frozen and I had to end it. She devastated as she said but 2 days ago I saw that she updated her facebook photo and she seem pretty happy.

 

Anyway, she has a roommate and I have a roommate. At the beginning of the relationship we set our roommates. My roommate liked her but she didn't like him. Like 10 days ago my roommate sent text to her but she didn't reply. Yesterday she sent him a text that "Hey, I couldn't write you. My interviews went positive. How are you? How have you been?" My friend replied her today that "I am okay, having my studies. I am happy that your interviews went great. I knew you will be succesful." Then she replied. "Thank you :)How is OP doing? I heard that OP and OP's gf broke up :(. OP's gf seem very upset. I am sorry for them." My friend haven't replied her yet.

 

I guess my ex is trying to contact me by her roommate because I was a lil harsh breaking up. I told her NO, THIS IS IT. And ended it. She wanted to meet me, texted me, called me, but nothing. It was over for me.

 

I miss her time to time but my gut tell me that I shouldn't get back with her. But on the other hand my friend suggest me to just bang her and don't catch feeling. Just enjoy myself and don't get involved much.

 

She is also going to another city in 8 months, so what I believe is, I am her plan A till that time and when she goes that city, she will find someone else. And that time I'll be devastated.

 

I am not sure what to do. How can I be with a girl without catching feelings? Or should I just ignore her? What should my friend write her roommate?

 

This is just a typical girl who is selfish and only cares about herself. You have done extremely well pointing out all the flags about her. I'm starting to get seriously concerned of the lack of understanding that some of these girls have out there...you would be surprised how many I've met since I've become single (and remain to be for this very reason) that are exactly as you've outlined above. It's okay though, because that means finding a girl whos actually worth it will that much more special.

 

She also seems immature for the fact that she is using her friend to contact your roommate. I hope your roommate doesn't respond to this girl...because 1) she isn't interested in him and 2) she's snooping around about you. Judging by what you are saying, you could easily just have your fun with this girl, if you choose to. However, I think that she would be more of a headache than fun. I could see her trying to play a lot of games to get back at you...you also seem like you're not capable of being that type of guy if you're worried about catching feelings.

 

I think if you want to keep her around and keep as a FWB go ahead (not my style). In my case, I would spend that time on chasing other women who have good attitudes and are more loyal.

  • Like 1
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youcanever Established Member

youcanever

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Bravo to you for seeing the red flags and getting out. Those are HUGE red flags. If you would have ignored them and continued the relationship, your life would've been a mess.

 

Run far away from that girl. It's self-preservation for you.

 

I didn't run away from a girl with major red flags and suffered for it.

 

DO NOT use her for a physical relationship. You will catch feelings. Just ignore her. Tell your roommate to tell her roommate that he doesn't feel they should be talking about the relationship, and that he doesn't want to be a go-between.

 

My gut tells me to stay away as well. She wont want a physical relationship and i dont think it is a good idea as well.

  • Like 2
  • Author
youcanever Established Member

youcanever

Posted
  • Author
Posted
This is just a typical girl who is selfish and only cares about herself. You have done extremely well pointing out all the flags about her. I'm starting to get seriously concerned of the lack of understanding that some of these girls have out there...you would be surprised how many I've met since I've become single (and remain to be for this very reason) that are exactly as you've outlined above. It's okay though, because that means finding a girl whos actually worth it will that much more special.

 

She also seems immature for the fact that she is using her friend to contact your roommate. I hope your roommate doesn't respond to this girl...because 1) she isn't interested in him and 2) she's snooping around about you. Judging by what you are saying, you could easily just have your fun with this girl, if you choose to. However, I think that she would be more of a headache than fun. I could see her trying to play a lot of games to get back at you...you also seem like you're not capable of being that type of guy if you're worried about catching feelings.

 

I think if you want to keep her around and keep as a FWB go ahead (not my style). In my case, I would spend that time on chasing other women who have good attitudes and are more loyal.

 

I agree with your post. My friend still didnt response to her. I think he will write like "it is their business"

  • Like 1
Satu Established Member

Satu

Posted
Posted

The only future you could have with this girl is a life of pain and misery.

 

You did the right thing in walking away

 

Strict no contact is the way to go.

  • Author
youcanever Established Member

youcanever

Posted
  • Author
Posted
The only future you could have with this girl is a life of pain and misery.

 

You did the right thing in walking away

 

Strict no contact is the way to go.

 

My friend wrote her " yes they broke up, i guess it was not meant to be."

 

No reply.

 

Today is the 9th day of NC. I am keeping it.

  • Author
youcanever Established Member

youcanever

Posted
  • Author
Posted
The only future you could have with this girl is a life of pain and misery.

 

You did the right thing in walking away

 

Strict no contact is the way to go.

 

Btw ex's roommate replied that "yes, there is nothing to say about it :)"

lauri Established Member

lauri

Posted
Posted
Btw ex's roommate replied that "yes, there is nothing to say about it :)"

 

This situation is so "high school" its not even funny...ugh. Be glad this is over man.

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