mefisto Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 (edited) Recently i started to have thoughts about a strange subject. All my life i was atheistic guy who doesn't believe in anything that goes beyond basic nature materialistic mechanisms. But few months ago, one very terrible traumatic thing happened with me in the region of social relationships and it sent me into huge deadly depression. And i started to wonder, maybe somehow i deserved it? I almost never was a jerk to people, didn't really hurt anyone in my life. So maybe its not about the things i did, but about the things i didnt do? I began to remember all the things when i could help people but i didnt. For example, i never gave money to street beggars because i always thought that they are lazy crooks. Sometimes i wasnt nice to people when i could be, i saw crying people on the street and i passed them by, because i didnt know how to help them. I never volunteered in anything, i never did anything that could make the world better because i always thought that the world we live in is beyond saving, that people are doomed to live in chaos and misery and nothing can be done and every tiny effort like volunteering is meaningless and waste of time. Maybe if i had another lifestyle and another pattern of thinking, helped some people along the way, this terrible awful thing would not happen with me? If so, how can it be explained? I still don't believe in God or Karma or Anything. But i want to know is there some justice in the world that keep ruining lives of people like myself that didn't help others when they could? Did i really deserve what happened with me? Did other people who were dumped, cheated on and betrayed deserve it? What do you think? Edited December 11, 2014 by mefisto
StalwartMind Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 Life can best be summarized as being a complete fluke, that you have some impact on through behavior and skill set. It doesn't matter if you are a wreck or feel you have full control over what's happening, because all it takes is "that one thing", and your entire life can be flipped upside down. Most elements in this universe are outside our control, which is all the more reason why we should all try to live each day as if it is our last. 3
Got it Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 While certain behaviors, following in a pattern, are more apt to lend to a certain outcome does not mean that there is more than universal randomness happening. I think you can use this as a watershed moment to address who you are, your actions, and effect change if so desired. But the idea that because you didn't do one random act or another and this somehow caused you to be "punished" is unrealistic. Bad things happen to bad people. Good things happen to bad people. Good things happen to good people. Bad things happen to good people. 1
central Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 But i want to know is there some justice in the world that keep ruining lives of people like myself that didn't help others when they could? Did i really deserve what happened with me? No. That said, sometimes there are natural consequences to your actions and deeds. Treat people badly, and some of those people or their friends or even a mere observer may reciprocate. That's all there is to it. And if that's not the reason, then some people are just mean, nasty, or unpleasant for reasons of their own, based on their own experiences, probably. 1
Author mefisto Posted December 12, 2014 Author Posted December 12, 2014 Thanks for the replies. But why there are so many people who thinking that "everything happen for a reason" and honestly believing that "what comes around goes around"? Also, there is popular saying "each of the people who came in your life is a teacher and everything they do is a lesson". I wonder what lessons should learn one who got betrayed by closest friends. It would be something like: 1. Don't trust anyone 2. Betray people before they would betray you 3. Avoid getting attached to any relationship Its the sad lessons i must say. Any thoughts on those?
todreaminblue Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 everything does happen for a reason...some of it can be explained away ....and some things just cant be explained.......everything on earth has a purpose ....we can define that purpose and go through progression ........of spirit and body ...or we can ignore it and think everything is random......coincidence and in essence chaos........i believe in a higher power than me......that i have a higher purpose than just to be an eating living breathing reproduction machine....that when i die...that the people i leave behind can be assured they will see me again .....it doesnt end here......and all that i do good... might not be recognised while i am alive......but when its time.....it will be recognised...and i hope its enough......faith without works is dead...i know that..and i have worked... and plan to work more....the only random i truly believe in ...is random acts of kindness.....and they arent even random at all...i am prompted..........deb 1
Toodaloo Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 Life goes on. It happens regardless. If its worth anything I am someone who does take action and does the things that you mention that you didn't do. I have bad things happen to me but I try to forget them and let them go. Instead I concentrate on the good things that happen to me. Just as an aside years ago I did give a load of money to a begger only to see him wander past an hour later on his black berry... I couldn't afford a black berry at the time and it was money I had allocated to feed myself... Doesn't stop me giving to homeless people but I am more careful in the way I do it these days. Some things happen for a reason, somethings that go around come around... just as sometimes there is just no explanation. My advice is look in the mirror. If you like the person looking back at you and are comfortable with that person that is all you need worry about.
Toodaloo Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 I wonder what lessons should learn one who got betrayed by closest friends. It would be something like: 1. Don't trust anyone amend to be careful who you trust 2. Betray people before they would betray you amend to avoid those who would betray you 3. Avoid getting attached to any relationship amend to accept that the only emotions you control are your own and that sometimes you will make mistakes and love the wrong person for the right reasons or love the right person for the wrong reasons. Its the sad lessons i must say. Any thoughts on those? Your taking 1+1 and making 28... See above.
Got it Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 Thanks for the replies. But why there are so many people who thinking that "everything happen for a reason" and honestly believing that "what comes around goes around"? Also, there is popular saying "each of the people who came in your life is a teacher and everything they do is a lesson". I wonder what lessons should learn one who got betrayed by closest friends. It would be something like: 1. Don't trust anyone 2. Betray people before they would betray you 3. Avoid getting attached to any relationship Its the sad lessons i must say. Any thoughts on those? First off, I think many humans need to ascribe some sort of cause to something because then it lends a level of control. If I just do A, B will happen. Accepting that random things will happen, sometimes really bad things for no greater reason that at the wrong place at the wrong time, is very disheartening. Religion was created to fill this void. To give reason to the unreasonable. In regards to life lessons, sure those could be the things you learn or you can ascribe other lessons to that situation. One, how to see the strength in one's self on how they dealt with a betrayal. The positives you learned about yourself when faced with a very difficult situation. Or a better look at the characteristics of people and what one can look for in new friends. Or what can I do differently if faced with the situation again/or what confirmation that I did everything reasonable and won't change a thing. There are many different lessons/take aways you can have from it. Just depends on how you want to approach it. 1
toscaroscura Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 Just wanted to chime in on the mindset that you may as well not ever help anyone, because the world is going to Hell in a handbasket anyway. It's a common mindset but... Well, wasn't it some great genius who said something like, evil in this world thrives because good people do nothing? I have, within the last few years, striven to be a better person and do my little part to make the world a better place. I have found spirituality and acted to help others and not live only for myself. It's very soothing to the soul and I recommend it. Like you, I used to identify as atheist when I was much younger but now I'm no longer so sure. We can only do what little we can in our little corners of the world. But imagine if every person made their little corner something amazing?
preraph Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 I agree with the posters who say life has random elements but your general behavior will be the biggest factor in which way your life will go. You cannot control everything, but the entity who has the most control over your life is you. So go full throttle for what you want and stay focused on that. On the way, be kind and don't hurt others to get what you want. Don't depend on the universe to even things out. I will say this as far as volunteering: It will do more for you than it will for those who benefit from it. It will make you feel good about yourself and put your own life into perspective and bring you in contact with people or animals who appreciate you. You only have to do it like a couple of hours a week and it is a good thing to do.
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