Have I ruined my chances? :( (Cringeworthy story)

[Jackson37]

Basically, I had in mind I was going to ask this girl out after an exam in our class. She finished first, then I handed mine in to try to talk to her in the hall. I saw her when I got out sitting alllll the way at the end of the hall, started walking that direction. Chickened out. Walked back to the bathroom, tried to pump myself up a bit and try again. Started walking over again and....turned around. Back to the bathroom.

 

Haha at this point I was laughing a bit but third time's a charm. Planned it all out in my head. Started walking over, more determined but my heart still racing. As I got closer she got up and started walking my direction. We made eye contact for a while....but all i could muster up was some sort of an awkward half smile at her (sort of like if you smiled fully but with your mouth closed) as we passed by each other. She made the same facial expression at me though....and that was that.

 

I wish I wouldve just talked to her if not asked her out. Or at least smiled like a human being. I dont know if ill see her again since our class is over, but if I do will I still have a shot even after this awkward interaction?? We had a few interactions before which led me to believe she was into me but I hated ending on this note.

 

Cliff's

-Planned to ask girl out

-Built up anxiety

-Could only muster up an awkward half smile after making eye contact

-She made same weird expression back at me

-Created an awkward situation and want to know if I still have a shot or if she thinks I'm a weirdo now

[todreaminblue]

mirroring is actually a good thing....dont worry about past interactions just talk to her...try not to put her on some sort of pedestal....she is a woman like any other woman...and you are a man like any other man.....so talk....then ask her out.....dont read heaps into it.....deb

[InsaneTrombone]

Don't pedestal this woman. She bleeds like you bleed. She's another human being, not some goddess. She hasn't earned that treatment, you don't even know this girl. She could be a total whackjob. Stay cool and calm and just approach her as you'd approach anyone else.

[doeblin]

Listen, beautiful girls fart too.

 

Go and talk to her.

 

You also need to work on your anxiety. A few pointers:

 

 

• Purge automatic negative thoughts from your head. This will be hard work at first! When you think "I'm not good enough for her. She will think I'm a weirdo." forcefully change it to "I'm a normal likable guy. She is just a girl. There is a good chance she will like me." Again, this will take effort.
  
• Talk to pretty girls regularly. This is called exposure therapy. The idea is to get used to situations that triggered your anxiety. They use this for severe anxiety disorders with success, so it will definitely work for approaching girls. So go and talk to them.
  
• Don't forget that body language and touching are important channels of communication. Observe your posture. Now change it to look more cool and powerful. Like James Bond or Superman (NOT Clark Kent). There is evidence that changing your posture will give feedback to your brain, and even after a few minutes you will not only look more confident, but feel more confident too.
  

 

 

 

 

Be cool.

Cheers!

[Jackson37]

Listen, beautiful girls fart too.

 

Go and talk to her.

 

You also need to work on your anxiety. A few pointers:

 

 

• Purge automatic negative thoughts from your head. This will be hard work at first! When you think "I'm not good enough for her. She will think I'm a weirdo." forcefully change it to "I'm a normal likable guy. She is just a girl. There is a good chance she will like me." Again, this will take effort.
  
• Talk to pretty girls regularly. This is called exposure therapy. The idea is to get used to situations that triggered your anxiety. They use this for severe anxiety disorders with success, so it will definitely work for approaching girls. So go and talk to them.
  
• Don't forget that body language and touching are important channels of communication. Observe your posture. Now change it to look more cool and powerful. Like James Bond or Superman (NOT Clark Kent). There is evidence that changing your posture will give feedback to your brain, and even after a few minutes you will not only look more confident, but feel more confident too.
  

 

Be cool.

Cheers!

 

 

Thanks man. I'll try my best. I do still have a mild case of social anxiety (if used to be worse but I've been working on it) so I find it difficult to just approach someone out of the blue and start a convo. If they start one with me however i can hold my ground pretty well.

 

I'll try to talk to her again with the goal as just talking this time so I don't freak myself out. I just hope I haven't screwed things up too much. I'll try everything you suggest though thanks!

[Toodaloo]

Listen, beautiful girls fart too.

 

 

Yeah but ours smell of rose petals. Because we are made from sugar and spice and all things nice...

 

Keep practising talking to anyone and everyone.

 

Next time hold no expectations of her what so ever. Think of it as a question that is along the same lines of "have you read any good books recently". After all you don't know until you date her if you really do like her in that way... You are just trying to find out if she is compatible or not...

 

Also be prepared. When it comes to asking people out 9/10 it will not get to a date for a number of reasons, very few are an outright no. So don't kick yourself.

 

Pat yourself on the back and next time you see her just ask - even if it comes out as a burbled mess it doesn't matter as that is "cute" to us...

 

Good Luck!

[d0nnivain]

there's always next semester.

 

I am more worried that you turned in your exam just to go meet her. I hope you were done with your test & didn't just blow your grade.

[reliablewolf]

Facebook her and ask her out. Be confident and believe in yourself.

[preraph]

I agree with Doeblin's advice, particularly about talking to pretty girls regularly. Talk to girls you have no crush on just to get used to talking to them and then it won't be such a big leap to talk to one you want to ask out, plus it will lead to more friends, etc.