Had my 1st date this past Saturday, haven't heard from him since. Move on?

[LisaSmith_1970]

I had my first "meeting/date." from OLD on Saturday, I haven't heard from him since, no text, he didn't really say anything about "plans" for next time. Just suggested "we should go paint-balling sometime." Then he started talking about paintballing, how fun it will be. Does this sound like some friendship he wants to start with me? It was nice of him to pay for my drinks.

[Leigh 87]

He isn't interested.

 

He would have definitely texted you the day or so after the date, thanking you for the date and then suggesting that you do it again sometime.

 

The girl should never text after the first date - men are hunters by nature. Sure, women need to act very interested - but it is the guys call to respond after the FIRST date - don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

 

After the second date, I then make the first move and shoot them the first text - but yah, the guy should be the one to contact YOU after a first date.

 

He is not into you. Next.

[Danda]

If he does text you randomly this Saturday, then it's very likely he's one of those crazy dudes who reads PUA-type blogs and is following the whole, "Keep her guessing and in suspense so she thinks about you a lot," line of thought. So I think in either case you should probably move on lol.

[toscaroscura]

Another vote for "not interested".

 

He may try to hit you up later to see him without any plans and on short notice but don't do it. That says he doesn't respect your time.

[GSP21]

As a guy, I disagree with the rest of these posts. It's only been ~4 days since your date, big deal that he didn't text. I didn't text the girl I'm seeing right now for 3 days after our first date. He could be busy and/or maybe he's just not the guy who communicates a lot by phone/text like myself. Give it a few days longer, maybe until after the weekend. As a girl, you can always text him as well, not necessarily asking for a second date, but to see what's up. I hate how society dictates that the guy always has to initiate.

[greenman77]

I think you should give it a few more days too. I usually text a day or two after but that's just me. Not all guys are the same. And if you're interested, then YOU text him. Why the hell not? I hate all these "rules"!

[Danda]

As a guy, I disagree with the rest of these posts. It's only been ~4 days since your date, big deal that he didn't text. I didn't text the girl I'm seeing right now for 3 days after our first date. He could be busy and/or maybe he's just not the guy who communicates a lot by phone/text like myself. Give it a few days longer, maybe until after the weekend. As a girl, you can always text him as well, not necessarily asking for a second date, but to see what's up. I hate how society dictates that the guy always has to initiate.

 

Yeah as for the topic of future planning, he just said, "We should go paint-balling sometime." He showed no interest in actually making any future date plans. He didn't follow up with even one text or message post date to be like, "I had a good time." Or anything like that.

 

Society does tend to dictate that men should initiate most of the time (not all of the time), but I think it has a lot to do with primal aspects, and when it comes to dating/sex/mating primal stuff tends to be effective.

 

As a woman I can confess to you that men who are wishy-washy and aloof feel really awkward. But even a super shy guy who fumbles a bit through expressing interest will still be way more endearing and (admittedly) sexually appealing in most cases.

 

Deep down most women like to feel female in a relationship at least once in a while. Society can G.I.Jane us half to death and deep down most of us are still going to enjoy a little healthy aggression and dominance in the men we're attracted to / in a relationship with. This doesn't mean punching holes in the walls or trying to **** anything with a vagina. But just getting a little bit back to our primal sides during courting / romance / sex does magic wonders.

 

And if the initial dates set the tone for an entire relationship, fair or not, most of us really like it when a guy takes the lead.

 

Now of course there will always be special exceptions to just about every 'norm' out there, and the exceptions are in no way inferior. If you prefer women who will initiate, pursue and lead during the initial courting process, they certainly do exist and there is nothing at all wrong with that. But when you read posts and such from women who seem disappointed that the guy isn't pursuing them hardly at all, or at all, not even a little bit, like a small text, or something, then maybe they're just not your type and that's okay.

[Gloria25]

Just wondering...did you call and/or text him to let him know you had a good time and look forward to seeing him again?

 

I mean, I think I would have - either at the end of the date or sometime the next day.

[sillyanswer]

If I really want to see a woman again then I try to make plans, or at least get some sort of feedback from her about seeing her again, during the first date... and in a lot more detail than a vague "...sometime". But, that's probably behaviour I learned from reading forums like this and from having the confidence, through practice, to ask about her schedule for the week ahead etc.

 

My initial reaction is that your guy isn't interested. He could just be clueless about how dating 'works', though.

[Gaeta]

A guy needs a green light, did you give him one? Did you contact him later after the date or the following day to thank him and let him know you had a great date? If not then he may be tip-toeing around to get a feel of what you think of him.

 

Not all men are wired to chase women aggressively. You have to show your interest as well. You wouldn't believe it but men are a lot more insecure than women when it comes to dating.

[ponchsox]

You sure he didn't say "we should go balling sometime?"

[angel.eyes]

I would already have moved on. Guys who like me contact me the same night...before I ever have a chance to contact them.

 

Given the length of his silence, he's either not interested or you're on the back burner while he looks for someone closer to what he seeks. Neither leads anywhere.

[LisaSmith_1970]

No, I didn't text him that I had a good time. I agreed that about seeing him about the paint-balling thing. He kissed me, I kissed him back. He was very affectionate throughout the night, and I showed interest. Before meeting he told me to "hit him up" the next time I go to a electronic dance show. To me, it sounds like he wants a friendship.

[angel.eyes]

You kissed him and agreed to go paintballing. I agree. You did enough to make it clear you were interested. He's not. Next.

[LisaSmith_1970]

Man, what is up with guys showing too much interest the first time around? Being affectionate/kissing, I sure wouldn't do that to a guy I wasn't interested in, never wanting to see that person again! If sex was involved, then I know for a fact he just wanted to get laid-a hit it and quit it. Or am I mistaken that just being affectionate/kissing is the same as having sex too soon-like giving it up to fast?

[angel.eyes]

No. Kissing has nothing to do with his sudden silence.

 

He might have been "buttering" you up before putting you on the back burner. You're more likely to buy a lame excuse when he reappears if you're convinced he might like you.