Whatever94 Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 (edited) Hi guys. Greetings. Me and my best friend have a very close relationship, really close, we trust each other much, we can feel when each other is not right and will not really rest when they found out what is going on and all that sort of stuff. We know each other for 3 years now, and although i don´t love her since all that time, for the last year and a half i know that i want to at least try something more with her(i have tried asking other girls out, but i don´t feel the click i feel with her). When we met, she was in a relationship with a guy, and when i begun to have other feelings for her she was still dating with the guy, but broke off with him soon after it(not related to my feelings, i never told them). But we soon had a fight about some lies i found out about her, not really about me, but i don´t take lightly lies. We were not on speaking terms for like 5 months, but 4 months ago she came to say i´m sorry to me and asked if we could rebuilt or resume our friendship. I Thought a bit about it and decided that yeah it´s worth a shot. Since we first met, much as changed, i study in a diferent city than her(although it´s only half an hour by car, and 45 minutes by Train), but i always spend the weekends in the same city than her, and if needed i can get there very easily because it´s where my parents live. We have texted a lot since then, but i didn´t really know how to ask her out, since now we don´t study in the same place and stuff, but i let it go for a while, but 2 months i decided not very directly to ask her out and said "Would you like to do something with me? Like grabbing some lunch and stuff?" she replied "Of Course Yes :)", but some **** happened in my life, much work, had to stay where is study for two weekends and it never came to fruition. To my surprise, some 3 weeks later, we were talking about an injury my Mom suffered and she told me to give her a get well kiss to which i replied "It will be delivered Thanks for your concern, it means a lot to me :)" and she replied ":) Look, we could go get a cup of coffee this weekend, what do you think?" but then she had some family emergencies, she had to cook a whole family dinner because her mom had a work emergency(and this is true, she sent me like 3 MMS with picture of what she had cooked) and nothing came of it. But since that timezone, i noticed something in her, even before that invitation, she seems distant, not like rude, but answers me in a lot of intervals, when we talk they aren´t really bad talks, but they are short and then she just quits answer like for example one i said something a teacher of me described as a type of personality reminded me of her and she replied "not sure, i´m a little bit like a wild girl in the woods ahah" and i replied "you are a force of nature " and she replied "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww thanks" and after this she just quitted answering for example. Despites this, i decided to ask her out to see Hunger Games last week and she replied "Sounds Like a great Idea I had thought about inviting you but didn´t want you to feel obligated to go with me", but we still haven´t gone to it(we will probably go next week, since i enter my university vacations and i will return to my hometown), but i just can´t feel she´s not the same, and yesterday i decided to be really honest and asked her if something is wrong with me, or something else? She replied "I just haven´t given much attention to my cellphone, it´s not you, it´s everybody :)" But i just can´t believed it, it´s kinda of a weak excuse really, i know her, been in group activities with her, in the same university as her, she always has her cellphone by her side, talking to her friends, family, playing games wtv. What do you feel about it? Is she hiding something from me? Help Please Edited December 11, 2014 by Whatever94
angel.eyes Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 You need to learn to strike when the iron is hot! If you're only 30 minutes apart, there's absolutely no reason why you couldn't have gotten together for lunch, coffee, a movie, whatever, over the last four months. You need to learn to be a lot more proactive when you like someone. Stop navel gazing and fretting and just take her to lunch or the movies. She already said yes! She even suggested coffee when you bailed. Short of an engraved invitation, what else could you possibly need? In her shoes, I would have lost interest and moved along. She's getting there.
Author Whatever94 Posted December 11, 2014 Author Posted December 11, 2014 I´m really shy in nature with this things and she knows i´m like that, but yeah i get your point, maybe this "distance" is really because of this delay in we two going out. Have to be direct and lose my shyness for once, and better start sooner rather than later, although when she suggested coffee, it was her that couldn´t go, although she started acting like i said by that time.
angel.eyes Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 To be blunt, shy isn't going to get you a date. Dude, you already did the heavy lifting and asked her to lunch. She said yes. Close the deal...pick a date, time, and place already and just meet. Either that, or watch some other guy waltz in while you continually hesitate and start to date her.
Author Whatever94 Posted December 11, 2014 Author Posted December 11, 2014 Yeah, got your point, first thing i will do tomorrow when i wake up, is being direct and really set a day and time for our "date". Also, considering we are best friends, is going out like this alone, cinema, dinner, lunch wtv a date? Or is the definition of date greatly exaggerated in this days?
angel.eyes Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 Yeah, got your point, first thing i will do tomorrow when i wake up, is being direct and really set a day and time for our "date". Also, considering we are best friends, is going out like this alone, cinema, dinner, lunch wtv a date? Or is the definition of date greatly exaggerated in this days? Normally I would specify up front. But your situation is a little different. I would go have lunch. Open doors, flirt, engage in banter, and see how she reacts. If she doesn't react negatively, explain that you're developing feelings for her and would like to start dating her. That would be my approach since this is a three-year friendship.
Author Whatever94 Posted December 11, 2014 Author Posted December 11, 2014 Sounds like a good plan, was one of the main doubts i had, because we are friends for a long time now, and really didn´t have much idea how to "change" my way around her. I didn´t really tell it has a date directly, because i was afraid if i said it, maybe she wouldn´t go then, so i decided to play safe, and just invite her to go out, and then do those things you say.
Author Whatever94 Posted December 11, 2014 Author Posted December 11, 2014 (edited) A little bit of an update, we are going out on Saturday to see a Movie and go have dinner afterwards, but i was talking with a common friend of her´s and me about me finding her weird, and it looks like she´s acting weird because she feels she´s starting to devolp other feelings for me and feels that all this delay in meeting is because i´m only seeing this going out thing with her as only a friend stuff and also is a little scared of losing my friendship because she doesn´t know if i feel the same. Edited December 11, 2014 by Whatever94
Author Whatever94 Posted December 13, 2014 Author Posted December 13, 2014 Well change of plans. It looks like her sister that lives in another country just surprised her family in my country by surprise today, and is going to spend the weekend here and so it was called off but she replied "Don´t think it´s an excuse, i really want to see the movie and have dinner with you, Monday are you available?" "To which i replied Yes of course". But angel, while it´s true her sister is here, sometimes i think this is really just a way for her to call off things or should i just accept as normal things that can happen to anyone?
shinealight Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Just be normal, if you really like this girl wait for her to come back with flowers. Like I say to anyone, if you like someone do not let them fly away or you will regret it!
Author Whatever94 Posted December 13, 2014 Author Posted December 13, 2014 Yeah, just show her that i wasn´t mad by all this delay, is the best thing to do i guess.
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