treeolife Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 (edited) I have never dated before. I don't want a serious relationship at this point. We are going to different colleges next year and I don't plan on keeping up a long-distance relationship. However, hes a sweet guy (and 6'3") so I would like to hang out with him and see how it goes. The problem is I have a feeling it might get awkward during our first date if he tries to kiss me. Not sure I want him to...Am I being too sentimental about my first kiss? Edited December 11, 2014 by treeolife Link to post Share on other sites
Danda Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 In my opinion feelings can't be right or wrong. Lying to yourself about your feelings is very unhealthy. Lying to others about your feelings is wrong. But understanding and respecting your own feelings will always be right. If you don't feel comfortable with kissing him, then don't. You don't need to justify it to anyone, either. But also, if you're not interested in anything long-term with him and only want to casually date for a little while, just make sure he understands that upfront. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TB Rhine Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 Bollocks. If you don't want him to kiss you, you're not interested. Don't lead him on by going out with him. If he's asked you out, on the other hand, he's *definitely* interested, which means there are one or two possible outcomes. 1) He'll try to kiss you, and you'll recoil like a hand from a hot frying pan, humiliating him and embarrassing both of you. 2) He'll want to make a move but never will, resulting in him complaining about you friend-zoning him on the internet months from now, and you taking to Thought Catalog (or some similar venue) to complain about how all men are jerks (not the sexy kind) who only want sex (also not the sexy kind). End the cycle before it begins. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author treeolife Posted December 11, 2014 Author Share Posted December 11, 2014 Bollocks. If you don't want him to kiss you, you're not interested. Don't lead him on by going out with him. the reason why i am unsure is because i have only talked to him in person a few times. we have just been texting a lot recently and he made clear he wants to see me and go out with me. i dont really KNOW if i like him because we havent hung out- diff highschools too Link to post Share on other sites
deathandtaxes Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 the reason why i am unsure is because i have only talked to him in person a few times. we have just been texting a lot recently and he made clear he wants to see me and go out with me. i dont really KNOW if i like him because we havent hung out- diff highschools too Wanting to see somebody is usually a binary proposition. Either you do or you don't. It can be ascertained very quickly in person, which you've already met in person a few times. If you've already met and you're not sure, you're not into him that way. I mean, you don't even want to kiss him! That's a sure sign right there!! Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 Well first off you DO have some interest in him if you have been into texting him. Meeting him in person is where you can determine whether you like him or not. This is the normal step everyone takes. You don't need to put so much pressure on yourself about this. Just because it ends up you don't fancy him much, doesn't mean you lead him on, nor are you obligated to keep seeing him. You just tell him you don't feel a connection and that's that. He isn't going to kiss you if you are already showing signs of not being interested. Most go by body language before deciding to make a move. If he ends up being a perv and tries to and you don't want to you just tell him no or push him away, simple as that. Welcome to dating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 Not sure why you are so worried. Not everyone is hot and heavy love at first sight crazy about someone they have only met a few times. If you don't feel comfortable, you can say no to him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 A date is a social convention where two people make a plan in advance to spend time together. During that time together they make a decision about whether they want to pursue a romance or possibly become physical (hand holding & kissing are physical). It i snot a lifetime commitment; nor is it a commitment beyond a few hours, at most My advice, agree to hang out. When you agree to hang out make sure you say that & tell me you don't know if you are ready to date & you do not know if you want a LTR but you are open to spending some time together to see if that changes your mind. In essence, be clear (which can be really tough to do when you are young) 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author treeolife Posted December 11, 2014 Author Share Posted December 11, 2014 Thank you for all the good advice. I will try to hang out with him over break. Ill make sure I say I don't want a LTR and I just want to see where it goes. HOWEVER. The other problem is my parents- they hate the idea of me dating (but I'm 17!). Ive talked to them and my mom said I could possibly see him over break (prob to shut me up). I have a bad feeling she will pull out. Neither of them want me to talk to guys unless they know the parents. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 12, 2014 Share Posted December 12, 2014 Get your mom to compromise by having her meet him 1st. If you do decide to date him, then you can worry about parental introductions. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 12, 2014 Share Posted December 12, 2014 Zowie I started dating when I was 13 lol. Anyways, your best bet is good communication with your parents to build trust with them. As long as they know that YOU understand the do's and don't, they will loosen up a bit. Like Donnivian said have them meet this guy. I had to do the same thing and it's no biggie. IMO 17 isn't too young to start dating....I find it to be late lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted December 12, 2014 Share Posted December 12, 2014 I have never dated before. I don't want a serious relationship at this point. We are going to different colleges next year and I don't plan on keeping up a long-distance relationship. However, hes a sweet guy (and 6'3") so I would like to hang out with him and see how it goes. The problem is I have a feeling it might get awkward during our first date if he tries to kiss me. Not sure I want him to...Am I being too sentimental about my first kiss? You are all over the place here. You don't want a serious relationship and don't want a long-distance relationship yet you want to get into a dating scenario with someone new? You must have other friends, guys and girls you can hang out with. And if you go on a date with him and don't want to kiss him, don't kiss him. That's simple. But you need to be clear with him about what you're looking for. You are basically friendzoning him already. Don't lead him on. Either you want to date him or you want to be friends with him. Get clear about what you want now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author treeolife Posted December 22, 2014 Author Share Posted December 22, 2014 You are all over the place here. You don't want a serious relationship and don't want a long-distance relationship yet you want to get into a dating scenario with someone new? You must have other friends, guys and girls you can hang out with. And if you go on a date with him and don't want to kiss him, don't kiss him. That's simple. But you need to be clear with him about what you're looking for. You are basically friendzoning him already. Don't lead him on. Either you want to date him or you want to be friends with him. Get clear about what you want now. I think the first date will determine that. I have really just been texting and talking on the phone with him so that's why I'm unsure. Link to post Share on other sites
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