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Does anyone else feel worse around the holidays?

Zzyxx

By Zzyxx
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Zzyxx Established Member

Zzyxx

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This will be the first Christmas without my ex in two years, and I feel like crap. I could care less about Christmas cheer. I'm going home for Christmas and I'm basically just going to eat with my Mom and watch tv. I can't bring myself to be happy or celebrate, and since it's just me and my Mom I don't really have a reason to. Don't even get me started on New Years.

 

Does anyone else find their depression over a break up increasing this time of year?

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Phoe Established Member

Phoe

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Last year was the first time ever that I had someone during the holidays.

 

I've always had fantasies about a new year kiss when the ball drops. Never had that. Maybe some day.

 

So yeah, I am with you.

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Chin Up Established Member

Chin Up

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I'm not depressed, per say, but I have had some pretty miserable moments.

 

The money I was going to spend on gifts for my ex, well..that's going towards gifts for me haha. Being an ultra girly girl, I'm gonna tear that mall in half :love:. Can't wait!

 

I get a sick sense of pleasure knowing that my ex has to work on NYE while I'm eating prime rib and lobster, then being chauffeured to and from a NY bash in a limo :cool: lol.

 

I AM dreading xmas day though. I feel ya on that one. I wish I could work that day so it will just pass by like any other day. Hopefully I won't care anymore by then. Fingers and toes crossed.

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Zzyxx Established Member

Zzyxx

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I'm not depressed, per say, but I have had some pretty miserable moments.

 

The money I was going to spend on gifts for my ex, well..that's going towards gifts for me haha. Being an ultra girly girl, I'm gonna tear that mall in half :love:. Can't wait!

 

I get a sick sense of pleasure knowing that my ex has to work on NYE while I'm eating prime rib and lobster, then being chauffeured to and from a NY bash in a limo :cool: lol.

 

I AM dreading xmas day though. I feel ya on that one. I wish I could work that day so it will just pass by like any other day. Hopefully I won't care anymore by then. Fingers and toes crossed.

 

Wow, your NYE plans sound awesome! Wish I could say the same, but you go girl!

 

Yeah, Christmas eve will actually be exactly 5 months since the breakup, and I feel like I've made such little insignificant progress. I guess I'll probably just eat a bunch and keep drinking a steady supply of egg nog.

Satu Established Member

Satu

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Christmas and New Year are the peak season of breakups and suicides.

 

Have a great time and go against the flow!

me85 Established Member

me85

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I don't really know how I'm feeling. I'm ok. But I'm not. I'm just thankful to have the people I have in my life. Most importantly, I'm happy that I have myself. I'm one tough cookie.

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Satu Established Member

Satu

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Expecting pure misery.

 

One of the best Christmas days I ever had was just me camping alone on a freezing cold beach.

 

It was much better than the crazy relationship I'd just walked away from.

 

When we feel we have nothing left, we still have ourselves.

 

I hope you have a better time than you're expecting.

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PaperCrane Established Member

PaperCrane

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If it's anything like Thanksgiving it is going to be rough. My family is distant at best. I had to turn down Thanksgiving dinner with my roomy due to NC at the time. Christmas will be the same. A lot of people always say "just another day" but I'm a sucker for holidays and tradition. I miss decorating the tree and the apartment with my old LTR. Sitting up with the lights on and watching snow come down and the cats playing under the tree and in the gifts.

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Chin Up Established Member

Chin Up

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Wow, your NYE plans sound awesome! Wish I could say the same, but you go girl!

 

Yeah, Christmas eve will actually be exactly 5 months since the breakup, and I feel like I've made such little insignificant progress. I guess I'll probably just eat a bunch and keep drinking a steady supply of egg nog.

 

I lucked out. A friend asked if I'd like to join them for NYE and I pounced, for sure.

 

You've probably made more progress than you give yourself credit for. Unfortunately, feeling like sh*t, even if it's just a little...still feels like sh*t lol.

 

Love eggnog, but anything more than 1 glass has my tummy feeling like mud. Wine however...;););)

It's xmas, do whatever the hell you want lol. Getting blotto and knocking the tree over is NOT out of the question. Ha.

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Lugoj89 Member

Lugoj89

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This will be my first Xmas and New Years with out my ex in two years. It probably will come up at least once but I will try and squash it and think of the fact that one year I'll have one with my future husband. To me that will probably be 100 times better then spending it with my ex.

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Zzyxx Established Member

Zzyxx

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I lucked out. A friend asked if I'd like to join them for NYE and I pounced, for sure.

 

You've probably made more progress than you give yourself credit for. Unfortunately, feeling like sh*t, even if it's just a little...still feels like sh*t lol.

 

Love eggnog, but anything more than 1 glass has my tummy feeling like mud. Wine however...;););)

It's xmas, do whatever the hell you want lol. Getting blotto and knocking the tree over is NOT out of the question. Ha.

 

 

Haha, I like your style! No, indeed it is not out of the question ;).

 

I just kind of worry about having to deal with being sad in front of my Mom cause she's not very understanding when it comes to these kind of things. She's been single for over 20 years since she dumped my Dad who treated her like an A-hole, so she has very little sympathy for breakups and tries to avoid talking about or dealing with people that have been dumped. So that'll be interesting.

 

Thanks everyone for your feedback and stories. It's good to know I won't be the only one feeling like this :)

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Zzyxx Established Member

Zzyxx

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If it's anything like Thanksgiving it is going to be rough. My family is distant at best. I had to turn down Thanksgiving dinner with my roomy due to NC at the time. Christmas will be the same. A lot of people always say "just another day" but I'm a sucker for holidays and tradition. I miss decorating the tree and the apartment with my old LTR. Sitting up with the lights on and watching snow come down and the cats playing under the tree and in the gifts.

 

I totally understand. One of the X-mas I spent with my X was pretty much the best Christmas I've had in my adult life, Thanksgiving too. I also used to like the holidays, but that's changed this year.

 

Do you have any plans for what you will do to get through it? I guess grin and bear it is the only thing one can really do. Can you celebrate with the roommate this year?

PaperCrane Established Member

PaperCrane

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I totally understand. One of the X-mas I spent with my X was pretty much the best Christmas I've had in my adult life, Thanksgiving too. I also used to like the holidays, but that's changed this year.

 

Do you have any plans for what you will do to get through it? I guess grin and bear it is the only thing one can really do. Can you celebrate with the roommate this year?

 

Well...no not with the roommate really. The whole reason I joined was due to her and I's relationship, or lack thereof. I think if I actually wrote the whole thing out it would make for a decent sitcom or afternoon read. I'll do the grin and bear it routine I think.

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Jimmyjackson Established Member

Jimmyjackson

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Yeah I started seeing my ex on the 15th of December last year, weird to think almost a year later I'm single again...never thought I would be.

RedButton Established Member

RedButton

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This is the second year in a row I've had no family or friends for Christmas. I'm living on the other side of the world, no family on the continent. I have friends, but they are all doing their own thing with family of course.

 

I'll tell you what: It's not that bad.

 

This year I was looking into doing some volunteer work, since I don't have to work Boxing Day either. Not sure where I would begin to look for that though.

 

To everyone dreading things this year, please don't. Do something for yourself, have a relaxing day where you'll have NO distractions. Go for a walk in town, it's one of the few times a year it'll be so empty, it's actually kind of cool.

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Firestarter1069 Member

Firestarter1069

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Not sure how I will be. I have a feeling it's going to be rough. Christmas Eve last year was the day my ex and I really started to get close, that was they day we started having serious daily/nightly conversations which ultimately led to our relationship.

unforgotten Established Member

unforgotten

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I've decided to have an awesome Christmas this year and also a NY. **** her! I'm into 17 day NC. I'm going out on a date tonight! :D

MovingOnIsHard Established Member

MovingOnIsHard

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Yeah I started seeing my ex on the 15th of December last year, weird to think almost a year later I'm single again...never thought I would be.

 

That's about the same time i met my ex. This christmas week would have been one year for us. It stings, but Im glad i evaded a life sentence full of lies and manipulation from someone with possible bpd.

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Chin Up Established Member

Chin Up

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It just occurred to me why xmas is such a bummer for the lonely or heartbroken people out there. Media.

 

Commercials show happy couples and families, in hideous sweaters I might add, all in love, or having a spectacular laugh over dear ol' dad trying to untangle the christmas lights. Visual bombardment of people having all kinds of bonding moments. psh, eff them. Am i right, or am i right? *bitter* haha.

 

And the music! most Christmas songs are all about being with someone you love for the holidays. We didn't stand a chance. Christmas is out to get us LOL. :lmao:

 

Unrelated, but that one song that's lyrics go:

"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling, ring-ting-tingling, too. Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with youuuu."

 

I hate it. *narrows eyes* :mad:. If I hear it one more time, I'm going to go on a rampage and start kicking random things over.

 

Wow, I'm just brimming with Christmas cheer hahaha.

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Firestarter1069 Member

Firestarter1069

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Posted
It just occurred to me why xmas is such a bummer for the lonely or heartbroken people out there. Media.

 

Commercials show happy couples and families, in hideous sweaters I might add, all in love, or having a spectacular laugh over dear ol' dad trying to untangle the christmas lights. Visual bombardment of people having all kinds of bonding moments. psh, eff them. Am i right, or am i right? *bitter* haha.

 

And the music! most Christmas songs are all about being with someone you love for the holidays. We didn't stand a chance. Christmas is out to get us LOL. :lmao:

 

Unrelated, but that one song that's lyrics go:

"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling, ring-ting-tingling, too. Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with youuuu."

 

I hate it. *narrows eyes* :mad:. If I hear it one more time, I'm going to go on a rampage and start kicking random things over.

 

Wow, I'm just brimming with Christmas cheer hahaha.

 

 

I agree, it makes me sick to my stomach when I see those commercials. My ex wasn't a huge Christmas person, in fact she told me she wasn't going to want anything for Christmas, as long as I was with her. I was going to surprise her with something special this Christmas since it would have been our first together and there is one commercial where some guy does EXACTLY what I was going to do. I've only seen it once since I can't watch it anymore so I couldn't even tell you which commercial it actually is.

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Zzyxx Established Member

Zzyxx

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It just occurred to me why xmas is such a bummer for the lonely or heartbroken people out there. Media.

 

Commercials show happy couples and families, in hideous sweaters I might add, all in love, or having a spectacular laugh over dear ol' dad trying to untangle the christmas lights. Visual bombardment of people having all kinds of bonding moments. psh, eff them. Am i right, or am i right? *bitter* haha.

 

And the music! most Christmas songs are all about being with someone you love for the holidays. We didn't stand a chance. Christmas is out to get us LOL. :lmao:

 

Unrelated, but that one song that's lyrics go:

"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling, ring-ting-tingling, too. Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with youuuu."

 

I hate it. *narrows eyes* :mad:. If I hear it one more time, I'm going to go on a rampage and start kicking random things over.

 

Wow, I'm just brimming with Christmas cheer hahaha.

 

Hahahaha, no, that's a good point, you're right media does make things worse. I've never liked Christmas music, but now that I think about it, I like it even less. And that one song, "baby, it's cold outside" is super rapey! Listen to the lyrics, it's very non-consensual and uncomfortable to listen to.

 

But yeah, we could all have a big virtual X-mas single's party. I'll bring the egg nog and wine :)

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Zzyxx Established Member

Zzyxx

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I agree, it makes me sick to my stomach when I see those commercials. My ex wasn't a huge Christmas person, in fact she told me she wasn't going to want anything for Christmas, as long as I was with her. I was going to surprise her with something special this Christmas since it would have been our first together and there is one commercial where some guy does EXACTLY what I was going to do. I've only seen it once since I can't watch it anymore so I couldn't even tell you which commercial it actually is.

 

Maybe you can spend the money on yourself? Do something special you ordinarily wouldn't?

flightplan Established Member

flightplan

Posted
Posted
It just occurred to me why xmas is such a bummer for the lonely or heartbroken people out there. Media.

 

Commercials show happy couples and families, in hideous sweaters I might add, all in love, or having a spectacular laugh over dear ol' dad trying to untangle the christmas lights. Visual bombardment of people having all kinds of bonding moments. psh, eff them. Am i right, or am i right? *bitter* haha.

 

And the music! most Christmas songs are all about being with someone you love for the holidays. We didn't stand a chance. Christmas is out to get us LOL. :lmao:

 

Unrelated, but that one song that's lyrics go:

"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling, ring-ting-tingling, too. Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with youuuu."

 

I hate it. *narrows eyes* :mad:. If I hear it one more time, I'm going to go on a rampage and start kicking random things over.

 

Wow, I'm just brimming with Christmas cheer hahaha.

 

I just saw that new Samsung commercial with Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard and caught myself thinking, enjoy it now, because one of you is going to be calling a lawyer to pry yourself away from him/her in the not too distant future... and you're going to throw up all over yourself when you're reminded about the smug commercial you made.

 

Alright, alright, I know it sounds cynical and snide, but I'm not bitter... really, I'm not... :D

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Chin Up Established Member

Chin Up

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Posted (edited)

It occurred to me while I was watching tv earlier. Some holiday commercial for a jeweler. The guy gives this woman a necklace and she gets all sappy and doe eyed as he's putting it on for her and then she touches it like "is this really happening?" and then they euphorically hug and smooch and all that crap.

 

I thought "chya! *snort* cut to the scene 3 months later where she looks like death warmed over and is sitting on loveshack looking for answers! :rolleyes:"

 

HAHA. I just looked up the lyrics..this ones a sinister little gem:

"Say, what's in this drink?"

 

.....:confused: I believe the word you're looking for is "roofie".

 

I think if we can keep our humor up and try not to dwell on things too much, xmas might be a breeze after all. Still making faces over the commercials and music though. boo. I kinda want that necklace from the commercial. Damn you media

 

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haha flightplan, I guess "not" bitter and cynical minds think alike. What a bunch of Eeyores we are lol.

Edited by Chin Up
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