spanishchick00 Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 I had a first date with this guy, we were on the dance floor, dancing and like 90% of the time we danced really close and had his hands all over me-down my butt, he almost came close to feeling my lady parts. I knew he wanted to kiss me, but I pretended I didn't know what he was doing. Am I easy because I allowed this? What do some of you girls on here think? Is touching a big deal?
Danda Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 Some people will totally disagree with me and that's fine, but I don't really like terms like "easy" because it implies that you must put the opposite sex through some kind of obstacle course and series of tests before you're willing to have sex with them, or else you are morally depraved. Which is just weird to me. But anyway, what matters is only ever allowing someone to touch you in ways that you're comfortable with. If you allow someone to touch you in ways that make you uncomfortable, that's a problem. If you were having a good time and enjoying, and taking care of yourself / being safe, then no problem. The concept of "normal" on a first date almost doesn't exist anymore, outside of the guy putting his dinner down his pants or the gal screaming at unseen entities the entire night. So that's why it's just important for you to know and respect your personal boundaries. 2
preraph Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 Here's what I got from your post. That you left it all up to him to make those decisions. It's up to you to set boundaries, and if you fail to do so not only on a physical level but on other issues as well, you will end up with the lowest form of pond scum. You are 50% of any relationship and you are 100% responsible for deciding what is okay and stopping what is not. You let him move way too fast. There is no good reward for you for that. 1
d0nnivain Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 You need to learn where you want to set your boundaries. If his behavior made you uncomfortable or made you wonder how you were being viewed you should have stopped him. You teach people how they can treat you. If you want respect you have to make that clear but if you don't respect yourself nobody else will respect you either.
todreaminblue Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 whatever made you feel uncomfortable wasn't right.......whatever you felt comfortable with was right for you...i do know that when its dancing that most guys try to get closer than is comfortable......thats what boots are for ...you tread on their feet then they step back.... i often find myself find in a position on dates where i am not comfortable.....i say hey ...nah....or no......and if they keep going which they often do ......i move away......or move their hand and I drop their hand in their lap where it should stay it often doesnt they are persistent......honestly turns me off dating.....i dont go on second dates with gropers.......i do have personal boundaries if guys disrespect my boundaries even when told so or shown where they are....its on them not me....i know what they want.....and they arent getting it......i dont give them a chance to do it again.... whenever you feel uncomfortable dont question if it is right or wrong.......it is wrong for you....they need to know its wrong for you be vocal if they dont listen when you say no....they dont respect you personally only want what you have....dont give it.....no second date..deb
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