Xiang Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 I have been actively chatting with this girl for the last month. She is my BFF's BFF...k. I am interested in more thantjust friends so as such i have tried numerous times to flirt. SOmetimes she might answer, but most of the time it's a awkward silence or she changes topic and never really reciprocates. That in itself would be clear enough for me she is not interested and i would just leave this all be, but i am not sure. I talked to my BFF and she told me the girl is really shy and weirder in such situations...that it takes time..idk who or what to believe so i'm giving it a bit more time. But what would you think if people didn't answer your flirtations? Sure she always initiates contact and talks to me, so she likes me...but probably just not "that way"... had a little sad moment a week ago(problems) and she actually managed to show some sort of affection in the form of a hug, but i think that's just being friendly. I've never had to deal with such slow "developement" so idk what to think, most gals are pretty quick to it. Am i f-zoned by this gal? Should i insist or back-off ?
angel.eyes Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 Ask her on a date. If she agrees, she's interested. If the answer is anything but yes, you're just a friend and you can stop wasting your time. Either way, you put an end to your misery and get out of limbo-land. 3
Danda Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 Female/Female friends can be all kinds of weird sometimes, so don't take anything her friends say without a big grain of salt. I've had female friends try to hook me up with guys before because they thought we'd be a great match and they thought I could use X, Y and Z, and so gods only know what they might have said to some guys in an effort to 'make' something happen. I agree with angel.eyes, just ask her out on a date and find out one way or the other. You've already been brave enough to try flirting with the risk of rejection, and you perceived you were rejected but didn't have a meltdown. You are good-to-go mentally/emotionally to ask her out on a date.
Author Xiang Posted December 10, 2014 Author Posted December 10, 2014 Forgot to mention, we aren't close. Different cities so it would kinda hard to throw the date bomb, but maybe i can insert it. Since idk when she will come by next time, could take a while. Sometimes comes visit her BFF so that's how i got to meet her, rest of it is online chat. Kinda pursuing a LDR here ^^. Jokingly said i can go lenjerie shoping with her since i got good taste. "make it a date" were my words. And she said ok, sure. But that was a while ago, and mostly joking. So idk if i can take that for what it's worth xd, stuff changed since then.
doeblin Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 Forgot to mention, we aren't close. Look, if you want to date her (even long distance), then sooner or later you have to meet her for a date! Sooner is better. You have to make a decision: does she worth it? In your place I would look for girls closer to home. Approach in person. LDR only works if there was a very strong initial bond, I think.
TB Rhine Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 Ugh. This is one of those dudes who just wants to be schmoopy over the internet. Kill it. Kill it with fire. 1
Author Xiang Posted December 11, 2014 Author Posted December 11, 2014 Ugh. This is one of those dudes who just wants to be schmoopy over the internet. Kill it. Kill it with fire. What's that?
Author Xiang Posted December 15, 2014 Author Posted December 15, 2014 Ok i just want to know one last thing. I want to do this, but idk if it's the right move. So i hinted at how i feel and asked her out. She said nothing and changed subject, so she is not interested that way. She kept talking, so she just wants friendship or idk. At this point i know it's a waste of time. Been friends up until now buut...her refusing me like this. I am considering to stop talking to her altoghether, my BFF might not like it either. Would this be a accepted course? NEver really went "ignore" on someone.
xUnknown Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 Screw if your bff would get upset. Do you. I say stop talking or be direct and ask her out.
Author Xiang Posted December 15, 2014 Author Posted December 15, 2014 (edited) I did ask her out, she just changed subject ._. cut it short and and went goodnight. And now she started talking to me again as usual. And since i like to converse i indulged but i should really just tell her to "**** off." Totally avoiding any questions or remarks i make at her involving going out/feelings. Thanks i guess. EDIT: I am not delicate with these things. I just told her to stop talking to me. ._. Guess it was the right thing to do. Edited December 15, 2014 by Xiang 1
xUnknown Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 Case closed. Its not worth your time and worry.
Author Xiang Posted December 15, 2014 Author Posted December 15, 2014 But i do worry, it's how i am :\. She didn't take it well, cried but idk why...she might of thought i wanted to be just friends or something. But she didn't feel anything more, if she did she would of said something...i guess. idk My first time "dumping" someone even as a friend or w/e.
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