introverttheman Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 Before anything else, I'd like to say Hi to everyone on this forum! And well, I'm an introvert. I have a really hard time finding girls who find me interesting, because, where I live, they only like the extroverts, the social butterflies, the ones who exteriorize confidence and joy and talk and talk and talk(they don't date guys who don't reach this threshold), while tending to overlook the most important aspects of a good partner. Of course not all extroverts are jerks, I have good friends who are naturally extroverted, but in my area this is how it rolls: you don't talk a lot? You don't feel hyper-energised when talking to other people? You don't irradiate confidence, positivity and joy and you aren't the embodiment of both these quite good qualities? Well, you're out! You're automatically labeled a boring, uninteresting, dull guy! However, I could actually find an exception. There's actually a girl who understands introverts. I mean, I think I have finally found what I believe to be the perfect girl for me. She shares all my tastes, she's introverted, she's a cat person, she likes to stay at home watching netflix, she's a pop culture nerd. She's basically my female counterpart. But, as everything in my life, I got an "enemy". Let me break down the three characters: Girl- as stated above; Me- basically her male counterpart; Enemy- he has almost all the same interests as me, but he's extroverted and more of a social butterfly; Now, academically speaking: I'm a guy who wants to make something of his life, I'm a math lover(I'm taking a math degree), I work hard for my degree. The guy is a physics lover(like her), he's in my course but never studies, he only wants to party, his grades are a complete mess and he explicitly admitted that he doesn't know what he's doing in college. I mean, I think I may have a great chance with her, but I'm afraid that this guy steals my chances... If all factors are equal, and through this text, do you think I'll stand a chance with her?
Danda Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 Well uh, do the other guy and the gal you like even know each other? Is he hitting on her or something? I don't really understand how this other guy comes into play. I'm sure there are many people across your country who have many things in common with this gal, but why are you freaking out over this particular guy? And why are you not just asking her out to some low-key date or something, instead of sitting back theorizing ways in which your chances might be "stolen". The truth is that nothing is yours at all, and if you just sit back entertaining negative hypotheticals while other guys are actually asking her out on dates, then that is basically guaranteed to not go anywhere for you. 1
angel.eyes Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 This isn't a chess game or video game. Nor does the fact that you have better grades matter. She isn't going to scrutinize transcripts to determine who to date. It's about whether you connect with the person socially and emotionally. Do you speak with her? Hang out with her? Flirt and joke with her? What do you know about her interests? Have you asked her out on a date if you've already built some rapport? That's what guys who date successfully do. Refocus compadre.
preraph Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 You snooze, you lose. That's the problem with doing too much thinking and not enough interacting.
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