gormley Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 Wife left me after only 3 months of marriage and has issued divorce papers but I just can't let go of the hope that there can be a reconciliation. Crazy I know but how long does it take?
Author gormley Posted December 10, 2014 Author Posted December 10, 2014 By the way she left 4 months ago and has gone into NC.
GoBlue Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 I am so sorry for your pain gormley. It is something that I am intimately acquainted with. I went through a divorce after being married for 17 years. That was five years ago and I'm still not over it. Marriage is sacred and honorable before God. It's not supposed to be easy to get into and it shouldn't be easy to get out of. Your emotions are very normal. What kind of support are you getting? The most healing I experienced is when I went through a Divorce Recovery group. You should be able to find one in your area somewhere. The honest truth is that the best you can do is take it one day at a time. You can find solace in the fact that marriage requires two willing people. She has made her choice and you cannot force her to change her mind. There is a book titled Love Must Be Tough: New Hope for Marriage in Crisis by Dr. James Dobson that could be a help to you. In the meantime, finding a good group of men for support and working on yourself through counseling is a good option. Praying and seeking the face of God is what turned my hopeless view of life around. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Author gormley Posted December 12, 2014 Author Posted December 12, 2014 Thanks. Just living on my own in a big old house. It's really tough. Can't go anywhere without reminders.
Sucker for Love Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 Any relationship ending is incredibly hard, especially if both parties promised to love and cherish, etc, etc. Being able to let go and move on is part of the grieving process, and each stage is totally unique to the individual going through it, in terms of length, severity, and conjunction with other stages, it's impossible to say what is "right" there is no right or wrong in grieving. God how I wish there was! Then there would be something you could do to speed it up, and end it. Like having a viral infection opposed to a bacterial one. Every time I think if only it were bacterial, I could take a pill and not have to suffer until it runs its course. It will run its course though, and there are things you can do to help yourself in the meantime. Someday all the reminders won't sting, and the empty spaces will be opportunities for the life you want...with the right person. ...now if you could basically repeat that to me in your own words, since I can never listen to my own advice, that would be great help! Lol, seriously, the best advice you can get is the kind you'd offer your closest friend. 1
Arient Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. But you're not alone, we all here experienced/are experiencing the same thing. No one can give you the exact time frame about when the false hope dies out, but what you do with this time also affects it. I think you can find here in this Coping forum many nice suggestions about what to do to distract yourself from the pain, or to fasten somehow this post-BU phrase. Hugs!
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