ThreeYearsDumb Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 I've used affirmations repeated throughout the day to help me feel centered and boost that lagging self esteem. I also find that affirmations help train my thoughts on myself and my recovery, rather than focus on the Ex. Of course I feel silly doing it but I'm willing to try and just about anything that might help. Anyone found similar benefits to affirmations or have a particular one they like to repeat to themselves?
Brimstone Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 When I felt down, I used to go to sleep with guided meditation, affirmations and positive subliminal messages on the ears. Did wonders for my mood if not for my self esteem. I recommend it if you're feeling down. Powerful stuff!
Chin Up Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 I do! It's funny, when the break up was still fresh, I'd sit there and ruminate about all the good things, in a sad negative way. "I don't get it *sniffle sniff* as a person I'm A,B,C.. and in the relationship I did X,Y,Z ..why wouldn't he want to be with me? Am I really so bad? *boo hoo* woe is me." A whole bunch of negative self talk and blame. But you know what, it's not my fault that we broke up and I'm no less of a person for it. I have a lot to offer someone. I'm a catch! And if he couldn't see that...well, he's clearly an idiot HA . I was thinking of him in positives, and myself in negatives ..I switched it so the positive thoughts are allllll for me now. Now it's.. "pffff lol.. He's an idiot. I'm A,B,C and did X,Y,Z! If he can't appreciate those things, I'm better off without him anyways! tra-la-la life is good!" I don't care what his opinion is of me anymore. It's all about the opinion I have of myself. I feel better every day. It works..maybe a little too well because now I see him as an idiot LOL Not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.
Author ThreeYearsDumb Posted December 10, 2014 Author Posted December 10, 2014 Chin up, that is exactly what I am talking about! I've spent too much time giving her the positive thoughts and I only get the negative. The affirmations seem to be a good guided way of refocusing those positive thoughts to the right place. This whole ordeal is messing with my self confidence and because I see her often, I really don't like who and how I am in her presence. Hence the need to boost the self esteem! 1
Chin Up Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 Yup, and she's a bonehead for breaking up with your awesome ass self cuz you the man, right!? damn skippy, you are! *high 5* Life's too short to cry over boneheads lol
RedButton Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 I don't really know if this is affirmations per se', but there were a few lines that I would repeatedly think about and/or tell myself that would be inspiring. I'm an avid reader so two of them came from books I was reading before or during the breakup that just spoke to me: For when I was feeling down or hopeless: "Man was not made for defeat. You can destroy a man, but not defeat him." -The Old Man and the Sea And for when I felt I would never meet someone else: "Scared money can't win, and a worried man can't love." -All the Pretty Horses Then one day listening to David Bowie, I heard the song 'Up the hill backwards. I would think of the phrase "Up the hill backwards" a lot (going up a hill backwards, so you can't see how tall it is. Taking it one step at a time and looking at your progress instead of how far you have yet to go.)
Author ThreeYearsDumb Posted December 10, 2014 Author Posted December 10, 2014 Red button I love those quotes. And I love the up the hill backwards concept. I know I can look at months past and see progress, those around me can too, even if it seems like slow rowing everyday. I'll use just about any method to see if it helps the progress
Chin Up Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 Thought I should point out that your ex isn't literally a bonehead lol, but rather that kind of mindset tends to accompany the tsunami of confidence and power coming back. I know eventually I won't even think of him as an idiot for wanting to split. I won't have an opinion of him at all...indifference. Some guy I dated. But for now..lol yeah, he's an idiot and lost a really good thing. ME! Keep up with the affirmations. A few weeks ago the thought of bumping into my ex had my guts in knots. I probably would have hid hahaha. Now, I'm sure I'd be the one to have a bigger pair and say hello. If he thinks I'm sitting around wishing on a star for his return, the jokes on him. I AM the star! Love bomb yourself silly . You deserve it. Bombs away!
Author ThreeYearsDumb Posted December 11, 2014 Author Posted December 11, 2014 It's nice to see that progression is there. Oddly enough I saw a picture of her and her new guy when I picked up the kid. It actually didn't hurt and I just kind of broke out in laughter. If that's the guy she picked over me, then she really is an idiot. Surprisingly I think it helped my moving on. She obviously isn't an idiot, but there was something freeing about seeing the picture I wouldn't have expected.
Stsm5934 Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 Here are some I like: "Other people can and could only hurt me if I allowed them to-- if I believed their words and actions were a reflection of who I am, rather than a reflection of how they feel about themselves." "Take your love and focus it on yourself right now. His choice was to separate from you. It doesn't matter why. Don't waste your time trying to figure it out." "Sit and be present and breath in the moment. Be where you are. Everything passes, every thing changes. And this too shall pass. As painful as it is now, it will lessen, it will change. You will move forward" "There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind" "Peace comes from inside, do not try to find it "You were happy before and you will be happy after" "You are responsible for your own. You can't keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on" "Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because its stormy now doesn't mean you aren't headed for sunshine." To remind myself it would eventually feel better- "When we are sitting in bad traffic, it literally feels like you are going to have to live the rest of your life in that car, barely moving. But all of a sudden your out of it and so happy to be moving" I also thought this article included some good affirmations: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/laugh-cry-live/201208/coping-distress-and-agony-after-break
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