Men late 30s+ is it a red flag is there relationships only lasted 1 year or less?

December 11, 2014

Well, I prefer to focus on those whose actions and words are aligned. Telling me you're emotionally available doesn't mean you actually are. Neither do copies of your divorce papers. Nearly every separated and freshly minted divorced person says they are ready to date long before they're truly emotionally available. His actions told you he wasn't ready.

Some people date separated people. Some don't. It's another selection preference. If what you're doing is netting you happy, satisfying healthy long-term relationships, then continue. But others are free to use their own criteria.

December 11, 2014

I feel like you're criticizing me angel.eyes because a relationship I had didn't work out, as though it's MY fault it didn't last. Well that's not true at all. His actions and words were aligned for quite a while in the very beginning to convince me he was capable of a long-term relationship with me. But it didn't work out that way.

The outcome of a relationship has zero involvement with how it begins. Just because someone says and does things to convince you they are ready for a relationship doesn't mean the outcome will be that. There is no guarantee that will happen. My parents married each other thinking they would be together through their 70s but my dad died from cancer. Based on what's being said here, my mom shouldn't have married my dad if she knew ahead of time his genetic predisposition to cancer.

What has dating become in the Information Age? Gattaca-like? Well, from now on I will give each single guy I meet a personality test, ask for blood work, his credit history, email address of ALL his past relationship partners and a resume for his job history. Yeah, that will guarantee me that it will work out long term.

Risk assessment ahead of time, (i.e. screening) is silly because human beings aren't predictable. Doesn't matter what your standards or criteria are with potential relationship partners. You cannot control the outcome of any relationship that you start with anyone, platonic or romantic.

December 11, 2014

I never called them unstable I asked if its a red flag. Please re read my original post.

why would you think its a red flag......

December 11, 2014

Writergal, I'm sorry if I came across as critical. I simply used an example you provided to make my point. I was not criticizing you. That was never my intent. I was simply trying to convey why different people might use different criteria.

Everyone is entitled to their preferences. It doesn't mean someone isn't date-worthy when they don't meet that preference. It simply means that person isn't a match.

December 11, 2014

Ah ok thanks for the clarification angel.eyes. Sometimes it's hard to know with just words on a screen the message's intent. No worries!

December 11, 2014

If he happened to be successful I would assume his energy was directed toward getting ahead.

December 12, 2014

Ah ok thanks for the clarification angel.eyes. Sometimes it's hard to know with just words on a screen the message's intent. No worries!

Buried in the first of my two posts about your posts, I said I wasn't specifically giving you a hard time.

I wasn't picking on you. Your posts were thoughtful, and it was easier to use them to make my point instead of speaking in vague generalities. Again, sorry it felt personal. It wasn't meant that way.

December 12, 2014

It could be an indicator of a commitment or other issue but it shouldn't be a deal breaker. The "red flag" camp make it seem like people with longer R's have more exp and their "skills" are better, are healthier. This couldn't be further from the truth. A woman I dated a couple years ago was fresh out of a 6 year r and she was controlling and wouldn't admit she was wrong if she had a gun to her head. But that shouldn't be the case since she has long term R exp. She should have better problem solving skills that people with less exp. Lol, please...

December 12, 2014

The fact that I spent 2 years doesn't mean I chose the wrong guy. It's a two-way street. He appeared to be emotionally available (i.e. he told me he was) when we first met, but the more time I spent with him, it became apparent to me that he was still reeling from his divorce. Plus, he changed the way he felt about me. My people picker isn't broken. Even if he'd handed me a sheet full of data about his marriage and post-marriage divorce dating life, I would STILL have dated him because we were mutually attracted to each other in the very beginning. We both believed we'd each found someone worthy of a long-term relationship. But like everything in life, there is no guarantee for a positive outcome no matter how many numbers you crunch, or theories you study.

Human beings are unpredictable. Period.

Attraction can lead us wrong. It is important to feel AND think in the early stages of dating. Otherwise, people can fall victim to unhealthy attachment patterns that can, in fact, be very predictable.

Anytime the attraction comes on very strong at the beginning, there is a good chance it's not going to last. This can be a pattern, feeling strong emotions with a new person, when there is no seriousness to the relationship, and then pulling back when the serious stuff starts to settle in. It's something to look out for in recently divorced as well as people who have never had a long term relationship.

December 12, 2014

OR the guy who has his sh*t together, freaks out when he meets a gal who is still in transition.

All this thread highlights is how judgemental people can be where dating is concerned and I find that very depressing. Why can't two people date who like each other? I get it that people have standards, but some standards like not dating someone who hasn't had a relationship beyond a year seems illogical.

I concur as well. It is quite absurd to have such an asinine requirement, but now I am aware of such a ridiculous requirement exists. If I ever meet a woman that reveals this is as one of her requirements, I will make sure to thank her for her honesty, and simply walk away. No need to even bother convincing or proving my worth to someone like that.

December 12, 2014

The dating site I'm on over half the men have listed their longest relationship as 1 year and some under 1 year. These men are in their late 30s on up. Is this a bad sign?

Depends what you are looking for. If you are looking for a ~1 year relationship you have numerous candidates.

December 12, 2014

I concur as well. It is quite absurd to have such an asinine requirement, but now I am aware of such a ridiculous requirement exists. If I ever meet a woman that reveals this is as one of her requirements, I will make sure to thank her for her honesty, and simply walk away. No need to even bother convincing or proving my worth to someone like that.

Yep. Relationship length is an asinine requirement because it has no bearing whatsoever on a person's compatibility with you in general. It's just an unreliable indicator of relationship compatibility. Those women you dated you weren't compatible with. It's just that simple.

There's nothing wrong with your people picker either. There's nothing wrong with anyone's "people picker." You meet someone you're attracted to. You try to date them with the hope it will last. If it lasts, great. If it doesn't, it's because you two weren't compatible. Why does it have to be anything other than that?

And I really wish people here would stop referring to "people picker" as the reason people find themselves meeting people they aren't compatible with. For the love of god, STOP saying that! I mean there is no perfect science to determine your compatibility with another person. No amount of pre-risk assessment of another person can pre-determine their compatibility with you, as that silly romantic comedy "Along Comes Polly" illustrates.

Just because you and another person share a strong attraction in the beginning doesn't mean that either person is emotionally unavailable. Coming on strong doesn't always pose a red flag. A lot of times it does. But not every time.

I think a lot of people who post here see things in absolutes, or "black and white" and people and life just aren't that way. And it's small minded to think everyone fits into a black and white box of behavior. That's simply not true.

And in retrospect, that rant thread I created with that guy in mind whom I know, and went on that date with comes to mind. I'm still in transition after finishing grad school in my early 40s. That is, I don't own a home or have a financial portfolio, etc. whereas he's got that and more.

So, I think it's highly likely our income disparity played a huge part in him not wanting that second date with me. Or it has to be one of the unspoken factors at least when you get to be in your 40s.

It's so irritating to think about, b/c several of my grad school friends were dating during grad school and then got married right after to a partner who was already financially stable. They were all in their 30s too.

December 12, 2014

Yep. Relationship length is an asinine requirement because it has no bearing whatsoever on a person's compatibility with you in general. It's just an unreliable indicator of relationship compatibility. Those women you dated you weren't compatible with. It's just that simple.

How in the world is it asinine? what could possibly be more relevant than the history of a persons life?

When famous people die or even live at an old age, or when rock-stars are legends...do they talk about their future? or what they might do in the future? are they praised now more than they were for what they did in the "past" because of whom they are today?

Is it like "Oh wow, look at what this person hasn't done in the past...can you imagine what they will do in the future!"

Like ffs, what could be more relevant and tell you about a person...the past tells you everything, the persons success, their failures, their struggles, their issues....there's a pattern, because it's a direct example of how that person behaves and what that person does in their lives...and furthermore what they will be prepared or equipped for the in the future.

It's the same damn reason an employer looks at a Resume and reviews past experience, and length of work history, etc...

If the damn guy in his late 30's never had a job for more than a year at one place because was "always an incompatible work-environment" are you telling me that he shouldn't raise an eye-brow?

Now THAT would be asinine!

There's nothing wrong with your people picker either. There's nothing wrong with anyone's "people picker." You meet someone you're attracted to. You try to date them with the hope it will last. If it lasts, great. If it doesn't, it's because you two weren't compatible. Why does it have to be anything other than that

And I really wish people here would stop referring to "people picker" as the reason people find themselves meeting people they aren't compatible with. For the love of god, STOP saying that! I mean there is no perfect science to determine your compatibility with another person. No amount of pre-risk assessment of another person can pre-determine their compatibility with you, as that silly romantic comedy "Along Comes Polly" illustrates.

Of course not...why in the world would there be ANYTHING wrong with you...it's just a series of bad luck...says the convict with a long wrap sheep in cell block 10.

If it lasts great, and it doesn't...oh well?

Oh well, can't make a relationship last for a year, must be 100 percent incompatibility with every single person...how do you even sleep at night thinking like that? how does that even make any sense?

I could make a million relationships last for one year...one year is easy-street. First six months could fly by on passion, the newness and everything else. There's no reason to have any major problems within the first six months or even the first year unless people really have some major problems/issues going on.

What in the world is "incompatible" to you?, if you're finding that people incompatible, what does that even mean?...

And then I get to read knuckleheads posting on this forum every 5 mins about "giving things a chance", but those people you are referring to and which others like to use an example have typically had a long history in that relationship at least, of this behavior and tolerating it.

It's ridiculous to see how good judgment and assessment is like a "myth" on this forum...it's like a guy who works on cars and restores them, finding random cars in a junk yard or buying them over years and years...however on this forum all the lessons he's learned would be negligible because his past experiences would account and attribute to nothing...so that one piece of junk he bought that one time and restored that cost he more than he could sell it for, and gave him headaches added nothing to his experience and the next time he recognized and assessed that problem he just continued to make the sense.

It's not rocket science, you learn through relationships and dating about yourself and about the kind of people that are going to be more compatible for yourself...you learn from having the destructive relationships and what were the calm relationships and why those worked...it's all about finding that middle ground or that right fit for you, based on what you've learned about yourself and while dating different types of people throughout your life.

But in some people's world that is completely irrelevant and besides the point...and it will be no surprised to me, that if they share that perspective and mentally they will struggle with many many things in life if they think it's merely up to chance, or after a busy career life or whatever just automatically being prepared and equipped for the skills you learn from having relationships, which includes the ones below but definitely beyond...because if you ever have a relationship beyond a year, and even beyond that, you know that the dynamic and relationship evolves, and you know how you function in that dynamic based off experience and how to manage yourself and know what is your responsibility and that in which you must communicate with your partner...it's very valuable experience IMO for long-term relationships or you will be learning a helluva lot on your first one.

I'm still using the experiences I gained years ago, today. That's the point of experience.

Just because you and another person share a strong attraction in the beginning doesn't mean that either person is emotionally unavailable. Coming on strong doesn't always pose a red flag. A lot of times it does. But not every time.

I think a lot of people who post here see things in absolutes, or "black and white" and people and life just aren't that way. And it's small minded to think everyone fits into a black and white box of behavior. That's simply not true.

Well...as wonderful as it is, it usually is...because it means both people are willing to throw themselves into the wind irresponsibility and just kind of see "where the chips may fall"..and if you've been through that before you know how well that worked out. Because the reality is, that isn't going to be year 4 or 5 in the relationship...but oh wait...you wouldn't know that if you didn't have the experience yet...of course your love....will endure.

Now look, I want to believe that as much as anyone else does...in fact I want that kind of love, passion, and intensity in my life and relationships...it is not going to be easy for someone like me to just sit there like some guys fish in relationships...just hanging out in a little boat in the middle of a lake drinking a beer just hanging out holding the pole in still water. That's not my personality type.

So obviously through my experience, I learned that a lot of that "dysfunction" if you will, that behavior is to an extent self-destructive. I rush in like a bull in a china shop and wreck the place, and I love it.

But through experience and age, especially through relationships...I learned how to manage that behavior, I learned what is important, I learned what is important, I learned how to cope and manage myself as even I was able to have several relationships that lasted beyond that initial strong gust of wind...in some situations it did last...the passion and fire was there, I just couldn't get it under control, and other times it was more tame, which was a good balance for me as It is good for me to have someone who can keep me "steady" and more in control through their more "gentle" demeanor and approach. It had given me a lot to think about in my love life, and what kind of person was right for me.

Anyway..the point is, a lot of this wouldn't have come to me without that experience, and if you think only some people would benefit from this or it's necessary only for some as some people can just "find the right partner" and immediately get on with life...I just feel sorry for that way of thinking, I could imagine the lessons these people will learn or not be aware of that I learned years and years ago...it's almost like that blind confidence in life when you are young about something you know nothing about or have very little experience in, but you talk up a storm about how great and ok you will be at it.

It's so irritating to think about, b/c several of my grad school friends were dating during grad school and then got married right after to a partner who was already financially stable. They were all in their 30s too.

I would be to say the least EXTREMELY skeptical of these relationships being anywhere near balanced and compatible...you just cannot treat life like it's one separate thing, and the hard part is just work, career and all that fun stuff in society that makes you feel like you're worth something and successful so you can bring home that paycheck that validates your worth. There's a helluva lot more to life than just doing the "hard" part then sliding into the what people think is the "easy part" of just finding some simpleton with the same "values" (whatever that even means to these people) and then settling down and having a successful marriage without no damn relationship experience.

And for these people to keep their little white-picket fence lives in order, they'll probably do what most successful and reputable individuals as themselves will do...keep it hidden and to themselves, so that they reflect the imagine they wish to reflect to their family and friends...after all, who wants to be a "failure" and lose all that respect when everyone thinks you have the "perfect life".

I feel sorry for those relationships, I genuinely do...the chances of those being in order, loving and happy are very low IMO. You cannot replace that experience in relationships, you learn things about yourself that you will never work taking care of the career life and personal goals...those are completely separate and detached experiences.

December 12, 2014

What about the guy who spent his 20's on self-improvement, spiritual growth, and career who became insanely successful who is now 30 but wants a LTR that leads to marriage? He has very little relationship experience but would make someone very happy, though women on OLD keep passing him up and missing out.

December 12, 2014

What about the guy who spent his 20's on self-improvement, spiritual growth, and career who became insanely successful who is now 30 but wants a LTR that leads to marriage? He has very little relationship experience but would make someone very happy, though women on OLD keep passing him up and missing out.

It depends on:

1) The level of self-improvement and spiritual growth. Is it apparent? If yes, I can see my self being mesmerised by this.

2) His personality. If he was a communicative, straightforward person I think I would gladly give him a chance.

But this kind of man would be the exception.

To be honest, I never met this kind of man. Does he exist?

December 12, 2014

The number of past relationships & their duration are FACTORS for anybody to consider when meeting / dating a new person. In and of themselves you can't make them a litmus test but neither should you completely disregard the info. the sum of a person's past experiences, good & bad, makes them what they are today. It all goes into the mix.

December 12, 2014

The dating site I'm on over half the men have listed their longest relationship as 1 year and some under 1 year. These men are in their late 30s on up. Is this a bad sign?

This is on Plenty of Fish, right?

I actually lied about this as they NEVER had this question before on POF. I went to log in to my inbox one day, and I was forced

to answer this question before I could read my emails.

So I just gave 2 or so years. No biggie. Figured it's nobody's business anyway.

Their questions are very intrusive.

So if there are women out there (such as you Emilia, Georgia2014, newmoon, and GemmaUK), that would label it as a red flag, and relegate me as undesirable, just because I never had the opportunity to date a semi-stable woman that I can have some form of LTR with, then those women are f*cked up in their thought process more than I thought. Holy sh*t, I can't believe a man is even judged for not being in a relationship for at least one year.

Kind of the same situation here....plus I keep meeting a lot of women with stringent standards.

I can't believe a man is even judged for not being in a relationship for at least one year.

Like I said, just lie about it in your profile, they don't need to know at least publicly on the internet. Let them find out when you're already starting to date them.

Edited December 12, 2014 by LookAtThisPOst

December 12, 2014

The number of past relationships & their duration are FACTORS for anybody to consider when meeting / dating a new person. In and of themselves you can't make them a litmus test but neither should you completely disregard the info. the sum of a person's past experiences, good & bad, makes them what they are today. It all goes into the mix.

Yes, exactly.

And most importantly, do they blame others for their shorter relationships or are they mature enough to take the 50% of responsibility, learn and move on? But of course it's too hard to take 50% of the responsibility because then it's too much work to try and fix their wrong patterns and behaviours. It's easier to walk around like a martyr who is much less flawed.

If you want to have a long-term relationship, open your eyes and look in the mirror. And then look at this person you are dating. Instead of blindly focusing on your own agenda and wants and goals for the relationship, listen to them. Do they sound confused? Uncertain? Lukewarm? Are they in a transitive unstable period? Listen, or else you will keep making the same mistakes over and over. Listen and you will know if the person is for you. No one owes a long-term relationship to anyone. It just sort of happens.

December 12, 2014

What about the guy who spent his 20's on self-improvement, spiritual growth, and career who became insanely successful who is now 30 but wants a LTR that leads to marriage? He has very little relationship experience but would make someone very happy, though women on OLD keep passing him up and missing out.

I'm more of a philosophical guy than a spiritual guy...I don't even know what spiritually is or supposed to do, but I've spent a lot of time more or less straightening out the man I am into what I want him to be...and that took a lot of struggle and growth to do, I follow my own beacon of light that's my very own...and not necessarily for society sake or for women.

I think self-improvement and career growth are important PERSONAL elements in your life, but they do not account for relationship experience, I think it's great to improve yourself but without that romantic and relationship experience there is a certain dynamic that lacks...if you want to apply it to relationships, for obvious reasons you need another player in that to gain that perspective...because no matter who you are you're going to make mistakes and you're going to see the mistakes and ways of the opposite sex...that helps you calibrate how things work, what is your own personal issues and responsibility and what is theirs..for example, your own personal issues will show up in your relationships consistently and as a pattern if they are truly yours, which you might have been very reluctant, even defiant..if you had not seen that...other problems might only occur with certain types that you date or even may have been one or two off, meaning you aren't likely to experience that dynamic again, but you may also learn that certain things just don't bring the best out of you with some people and with others they do...so to be emotionally, psychologically and mentally prepared is a huge advantage...you know how to react, respond, cope and manage situations you might otherwise not know.

The other importance is, after those relationships you can reflect....and even more astutely interpret things from a clearer perspective...because while people are in them, they lack very little insight and reflection because of the couple dynamic that affects behavior too much.

You will simply need to do what every other person needs to do when they have no experience at something...which is gain it. You need to be bolder, you need to be more assertive and you do anything at all..gain experience.

Without you having prior relationship experience, how do I even know you are ready for a relationship? how do you even know? young people idealize relationships for a reason...because they usually know nothing about them...ask an 18 or 20 year old what relationships are about, it'll probably a blank stare answer or some idealistic BS...they don't know and probably don't even care, everything is just going to "work out"....why even use your brain after all at this stage of life for something like that they would likely figure.

Knowing how to make women happy can often times mean understanding how women work. And understanding what they need, because a lot of women have very poor communication skills and very passive aggressive in behavior, many simply avoid or fear certain topics of conversation...the infamous "mind-reading" ability that men claim that women so much want, desire, or expect. It's not mind-reading though if you actually pay attention to the signs and listen, but as men they go right over our heads at first...don't even splash on the radar.

These women pass you up because the less you know about what they want, or need, the more they feel like you can't give it to them. They don't see as "adequate" or making the grade...because you just don't behave or act like the kind of man they are looking for...and as you get older, their expectations grow, as they don't as easily throw themselves into the fray of some steamy romantic affair without thinking like they might have in their 20's, unless they're getting pretty desperate...now they know more of what they want and looking for, and guess what? you haven't got a clue what that is.

That's why you get passed up, because you lack the skills and know how...you lack the intuition, the awareness and other qualities...and women look down on men like that. They do not respect men who do not have the sense that they expect. That's why guys get chewed up and spit out who are just clueless.

Women are going decide whether you're what they're looking for or not, they're going to decide without your assistance if you have what they need from their own perception and judgment...and if you're Mr. Clueless, that woman is going to run laps around you and have your head spinning before you even realize she was moving.

So don't get me wrong, there's women out there that will be interested in you...unfortunately they're likely to have you wrapped around their finger before you even know it.

December 12, 2014

There's nothing wrong with your people picker either. There's nothing wrong with anyone's "people picker." You meet someone you're attracted to. You try to date them with the hope it will last. If it lasts, great. If it doesn't, it's because you two weren't compatible. Why does it have to be anything other than that?

And I really wish people here would stop referring to "people picker" as the reason people find themselves meeting people they aren't compatible with. For the love of god, STOP saying that! I mean there is no perfect science to determine your compatibility with another person. No amount of pre-risk assessment of another person can pre-determine their compatibility with you, as that silly romantic comedy "Along Comes Polly" illustrates.

I understand the concept that is "relationship picker", which out of curiosity I researched, and I was on point about in regards to my knowledge of it. But it revolves around choosing someone that is appropriate to you, who is compatible with you. If two people are attracted to each other and are compatible, then it's great if they progress to a relationship. If something arises, where one person freaks due to some emotional unavailability that they hid in the beginning, you go your separate ways. Unfortunately sh*t happens, it sucks, just roll with the punches, and you move on. There are no guarantees in a relationship. Definitely no absolutes as some of the posters are suggesting.

When famous people die or even live at an old age, or when rock-stars are legends...do they talk about their future? or what they might do in the future? are they praised now more than they were for what they did in the "past" because of whom they are today?

Steve Jobs is praised for reinventing Apple, for his pioneering ideas that introduced the iPod and iPhone, which made Apple relevant again. He is of course also praised for making billions of dollars for himself, his company, and investors. But Steve Jobs, as a person was an assh*le. He screwed over Steve Wozniak, the guy he started Apple with, he was domineering, and didn't believe in modern medicine.

It's the same damn reason an employer looks at a Resume and reviews past experience, and length of work history, etc...

If the damn guy in his late 30's never had a job for more than a year at one place because was "always an incompatible work-environment" are you telling me that he shouldn't raise an eye-brow?

I have no idea how this is relevant to the topic.

Of course not...why in the world would there be ANYTHING wrong with you...it's just a series of bad luck...says the convict with a long wrap sheep in cell block 10.

Comparing people with relationship problems to convicts. Real mature.

If it lasts great, and it doesn't...oh well?

You probably cry over spilled milk. You and your fellow posters believe in rigidity and absolutes within relationships. Does your world fall apart when you go through a break up?

I could make a million relationships last for one year...one year is easy-street. First six months could fly by on passion, the newness and everything else. There's no reason to have any major problems within the first six months or even the first year unless people really have some major problems/issues going on.

You sound like a person that would ignore small issues that existed in the relationship from the beginning, and would be surprised after a year, that the relationship is falling apart. But at least you'll have a bunch of relationships, albeit dysfunctional, that lasted a minimum of one year under your belt.

The rest of your rant is just drivel.

It depends on:

1) The level of self-improvement and spiritual growth. Is it apparent? If yes, I can see my self being mesmerised by this.

2) His personality. If he was a communicative, straightforward person I think I would gladly give him a chance.

But this kind of man would be the exception.

I see why you are so rigid and expect to man to have been in minimum one year relationships. You have absolute conditions and expectations.

Edited December 13, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

December 12, 2014

I see why you are so rigid and expect to man to have been in minimum one year relationships. You have absolute conditions and expectations.

My conditions and expectations change with time. I've had 2 boyfriends that never had a long term relationship before. I didn't mind because I was only in my early 20ies. But I'm not 20 now, I'm quite older. And I don't feel like "teaching" the dynamics of long term relationships to a boyfriend anymore. If having my own criteria and opinion makes me a mean person, then okay. Don't you have any criteria or conditions for the women you date?

And my advice was friendly. I'm trying to help because I see many bitter men in these forums. But I also see so many women in here who seem easy-going and nice, who are single or treated poorly by boyfriends. So take the best from both worlds; the fact that easy-going and nice women exist, and also the consideration of annoying points of view like mine or ninja's. The truth lies somewhere in between.

Edited December 13, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

December 12, 2014

Relationship length has absolutely no bearing on how a person is as a relationship partner.

It's stupid to assume that because a man was in a relationship for three years he was a good boyfriend. What if he was manipulative and abusive to the point where his girlfriend was afraid to leave him? Such stories are not uncommon.

It should also be said that just because a guy has only had short relationships doesn't mean that he is a bad partner. A good relationship requires two invested people to maintain. Life happens and it's not fair to blame a guy if he has bad luck with women.

December 12, 2014

Advocating that if a man has not had a minimum of one year relationship(s), he is an undesirable, is not friendly advice.

Agreed, it's hardly helpful advice, in fact it's judgmental and slaps a label on a person for being deficient.

"Oh, you're relationships didn't make it past the 1 year mark? Sorry Charlie, you're defective!"

It reinforces the notion that women have unattainable requirements, and men become bitter for being denied opportunities.

Agreed, women lately these days tend to have these stringent requirements that made it difficult for me to even get a date with them and if I do get a date, it usually fizzles after a couple of dates to a few months, most of which had done the dumping (within a year of course). Kind of like having credit to get credit.

Edited December 12, 2014 by LookAtThisPOst

December 12, 2014

It's not that he's undesirable. He may in fact be very desirable, and have left a string of broken hearted women who thought they were "the one".

The message is: people don't get to late 30s with no long term relationships unless there is a reason. Find out the reason, and if it still applies. If he has no awareness of the reason, the reason is likely him.

December 12, 2014

The message is: people don't get to late 30s with no long term relationships unless there is a reason. Find out the reason, and if it still applies. If he has no awareness of the reason, the reason is likely him.

What if that reason is that he can't attract the women he wants to be in a relationship with?

Should he just settle for whatever woman wants him and then try to keep her happy, regardless of his feelings for her?

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Men late 30s+ is it a red flag is there relationships only lasted 1 year or less?

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