What does it mean when women and men that are not dating send XOXO to each other?

[Winterina]

Winterina, I need help with the chronology of your story.

 

You have been dating for 1.5 year and you said he moved across the globe to be with you. Did he moved here 1.5 year ago or some of that time is long distance? Also Where and when did he meet these women? Before he moved to be with you did you notice he made lots of sexual innuendos in his joking? was he already seeking other females attention or it's a new thing?

 

 

 

We met and we were long distance for about half a year and I moved for half a year to be with him and then he moved with me when my grant over at his place came to an end and I had to return for work reasons. I did not know the extent of it all until I moved to be with him. Then I saw how he hugs with that one woman like they are lovers, and I found out some things about it that I did not like. It took me a while to tell him and he did understand and stop. He said he would not like me to be doing that to him either and felt like as ass for putting me through it.

His friends of course do not know anything but that he is finally in a relationship and that he has a new love in his life (he was alone for few years). This is the point where they should realise that a whole another human being has entered the picture and that things cannot be exactly the same, but some adjustments have to be made. But they did not. And he did not tell them to stop either. That is the problem now.

 

 

When one of my guy friends has a gf, I really make sure for everyone's sake that I do not intrude in any way. These things are sensitive in the beginning and if you care for your friendship you will try to make yourself a friend of a girl as well and make her feel at ease, so that you all can enjoy time together and that you are not a bi*tc causing harm to your friends' relationships, while playing the shame game with a girl or making your friend do so. That borders sociopathic or narcissistic behaviour. I am not jealous but happy when my friend is happy with someone, so it is not hard to take the back seat (where I belong in that triangle). We all always meet and have few drinks and have fun, go for trips and have a blast, and it is all possible without any baby naming each other and xoxoxo and physical stuff.

 

 

My point is that it is a choice what you do when you start a new relationship. And if someone cannot make a choice to do small adjustments like that in their life when a whole new person enters that life to make that person feel comfortable then they can go fornicate themselves with iron stick.

[Toodaloo]

I think I've just thrown up in my mouth.

 

XOXO XOXO

 

I am still rather confused as to why we are all talking about gravy granules...

[Gaeta]

So....

 

You were long distance 6 months and then back and forth for another 6 months. It's a case of you seeing who he really is once you see him interact in his own environment. He is not the man you thought he were. I know earlier you said 'he's the man of your life', it's more like 'you thought' he was the man of your life. His behavior is immature and unimpressive for a man his age. Do men in their 30s with serious girlfriends really go around letting other women call them 'baby boy'. That is so mediocre.

[Georgia2014]

Yes, nothing teaches someone a lesson by becoming a hypocrite. :D XOXO Georgia.

 

It's not being a hypocrite he needs a dose of his own medicine and maybe he will stop.

 

It's not being insecure or jealous it's called respect for a relationship and boundaries. It is never ok to flirt when taken.

Edited December 11, 2014 by Georgia2014

[Molly Hooper]

I have only read the OP, so forgive me if there have been developments since...

 

If he isn't reciprocating in any way, there isn't much you can do about their behavior. You can't get upset at him for something these girls (women?) are choosing to say to him. It very well may be a passive flirtation, but him telling them to stop is most likely going to do nothing but make you look bad, controlling, and insecure over something that he isn't necessarily doing wrong. It actually may encourage more chatter between them about how weird you're being when there's really nothing is going on. If a girl IS interested in your man, she will take every opportunity to expose your flaws or plant seeds of doubt and negativity... so asking him to tell them to stop writing XOXOXO on a note may actually backfire.