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Is She Not Interested or Just Shy?


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Posted

Hi All,

 

I've been seeing this girl recently. I like her a lot, and I think she likes me. However, I'm noticing she never initiates any sort of physical intimacy (not talkin' sex here, just any kind of physical contact). She comes around a lot (we live in the same hall in a college dorm) and when we're sitting together she usually tires to sit right up against me, as close to me as possible without actually sitting on top of me. However, that's it.

 

She responds to things that I do, like hugs and hand holding, and doesn't object when I do things like put my arm around her. But she's never the one to initiate physical contact. At first I thought she was just nervous (she told me I'm the first person she's ever dated) but that was almost three months ago. Now I'm starting to worry that it's something more serious. I haven't even kissed her yet because I'm worried she just isn't into it.

 

So what do you think? Is she just shy/nervous or do I have something more serious to be worried about? Should I try talking to her about it?

Posted (edited)
Hi All,

 

I've been seeing this girl recently. I like her a lot, and I think she likes me. However, I'm noticing she never initiates any sort of physical intimacy (not talkin' sex here, just any kind of physical contact). She comes around a lot (we live in the same hall in a college dorm) and when we're sitting together she usually tires to sit right up against me, as close to me as possible without actually sitting on top of me. However, that's it.

 

She responds to things that I do, like hugs and hand holding, and doesn't object when I do things like put my arm around her. But she's never the one to initiate physical contact. At first I thought she was just nervous (she told me I'm the first person she's ever dated) but that was almost three months ago. Now I'm starting to worry that it's something more serious. I haven't even kissed her yet because I'm worried she just isn't into it.

 

So what do you think? Is she just shy/nervous or do I have something more serious to be worried about? Should I try talking to her about it?

 

How long have you been dating? Most girls will not initiate in any form (ex. texting, asking out, even starting conversations sometimes) when they first meet guys, to say nothing of physical contact. The fact that she yields to all your hugs, hand holding and cuddling is a good sign. The fact that she tries to lean on you as close as possible is an ever better sign - that is a type of initiating actually. She's probably just shy/passive. Try kissing her on the cheek first. If she doesn't resist, you can move in for a real kiss later on. Anyway, from what you're writing, it doesn't sound like much of an issue to me.

Edited by GSP21
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