bonbonbabe910 Posted March 22, 2005 Posted March 22, 2005 (I have already posted this but i accidently posted in a weird place) Ok, I'm worried about my boyfriend. He is an amazing, thoughtful, wonderful, great guy that I have been with for two years. He treats me wonderfully and we get along great. His only downfall is that he smokes pot everyday. He has been smoking since he was 15. He is now 20. I know he is young and boys will be boys, but I'm afraid that this habit of his will hurt him badly in the long run. He knows I don't particulary like it, but we've talked openly about it and he doesn't ever hide it from me and I've learned to accept it for now. He is a smart young man, however I'm worried that once he is out on his own, weed will take over everything. I'm afraid he will start to love weed more than he loves those that he cares about. That may be irrational, but I'm a girl and girls worry. He doesn't do any other drugs. However 3 years ago he did some acid and some shrooms. He hasn't done any since because he says its not his thing. But he also knows that i oppose that stuff because its not good! I know he sometimes wants to go back and do it once or twice more, but he hasn't. He knows i hate that stuff but i dont want to be the reason he won't do it. I want him to stay away from that stuff for himself and not me. We've talked about this and he says he understands but I still don't want to be the "controlling" type of girlfriend, u know? I only have his best interest at heart. My other concern is that he is moving in with an old friend this summer. His friend has been at college in FL. the past year and has become addicted to cocaine and alcohol. This really scares me because I am afraid he will influence my boyfriend to do bad stuff all the time. What should I do? Just let everything go? He knows how i feel and he deeply respects me for it, but i want him to be happy with our relationship and not feel "controlled". I have never been "controlling" because that is not my nature, but I feel like drugs are a definent issue to help with someone you deeply care about. Don't get me wrong, he is truly amazing. Right now everything is great, but i have concerns about the near future and his well being. What should I do? Thanks!
missopinionated Posted March 23, 2005 Posted March 23, 2005 You're right you can't control they guy. You're right that a 5-year drug habit is not a positive and you're also right that his habit could escalate into something else. You're right that living with someone who has a coke habit isn't probably the best choice for this guy, but again, you can't do a thing about his choices. What you can do is decide if this person is someone you can stay with. The only person and the only behaviour you can control is you and yours. Decide whether your future and your goals and yourself have great worth and then measure the weight of his habit on your life. Also decide whether you would consent to being with someone who puts a destructive habit before you -- which he is most decidely doing at the moment -- and if you want to be second to an illegal, costly, destructive habit.
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