itzelmar Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 (edited) I ended things with guy I dated for 3 months. I tried going it for while now because something didn't feel right. Hes 25 from Belarus, I'm 27. When we first met, I was not interested in him as he seem unstable and too much for me handle, he was however very handsome. However he chased me, pursued me and eventually I gave in after 2 months. He soon confessed he just broken up with his gf and was arrested for slapping her during a fight, she bailed him out. He was going through very difficult time emotionally and waiting for his court in November as he didn't know if he going to jail for a while. I should of walked away then but we got along as friends and I myself was going through my breakup of 2 year bf. I began to be there for him as he didn't have many friends since he moved here from Alaska. At first he wanted to spend every day with me, I thought this is too much but he feared he would go to jail so I figured why not spend time with him. Things progressed, he started growing in my heart and soon enough I liked him a lot. I continued giving him emotional support even lend him money which he paid back. I began wanting to end hanging out with him because I was afraid of getting hurted and attached, so few times I tried telling him but he was so persistent and would just keep talking to me inviting me places I would give in. His court date came, he was offered to dv courses and community service and probation for 2 years. He began withdrawing from me after this by not wanting spend nights at my places anymore, also when he worked down street from my house, he wouldn't want to stop by and we were barely intimate anymore. I felt something is wrong, something is not right and I know before I tried ending things because things didn't feel right but this time if felt I was investing more emotionally in the relationship than he was, by this time we had talked we were a couple. So I confronted him a day before thanksgiving because he wasn't planning spend the night after few drinks and we both had days off next day. I asked him why is it that I crave spending time even intimacy with you but you don't? he denied it and had argument where he called that I'm just another psycho in his life and have a lot issues, which btw he called his ex a psycho. I felt how can this person put me down like this when I been their main support system these past months of hell? The day after he said sorry that he though high of me and put me down to make himself feel better. that day we talked he finally gave me an answer, he said I was giving him too much attention (odd I'm not the girl that text or calls a lot)and when he felt like seeing me a lot and I felt the same for him he felt like a big heavy chain around his neck. This right away speaks to me as commitment issue, I told him I couldn't deal with this that he wants what he cant have . I was now there wanting to be with him and now he was going distant from me. Besides the fact that I was not happy with him not showing me enough attention, it was like going for drinks with a friend. I said to him he cannot offer what I want and need in relationship, i have no time for cat and mouse games anymore and I wanted things over . He accepted it for the first time said he do it for me. It has been 2 weeks now and even though I am the one that dumped him, it hurts and this puts me back into thinking if I made the right choice? I cry daily over him and we have spoken twice in two weeks. I finally said to him two days ago that I was firm with my decision, he said to me I was making a mistake that I had something good and was throwing it away...so this puts thoughts in my head whether if I should of give him space ? I just want to know I'm doing the right thing here, I want no regrets. btw I have my life in order as a woman, financially secured and educated, good looking, good friends and for first time I feel somewhat rejected by him .. Edited December 10, 2014 by itzelmar
Satu Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 The thing that works the best is the thing that nobody (initially) wants. No contact.
Elle1975 Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 was arrested for slapping her during a fight Thats where I stopped reading. Yes, good call. 2
shadow_stang Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 Yes, you made the right choice by dumping him. No contact, and wait for someone better. Here's some things to remember if he ever begs you to take him back: 1. He slapped a woman. 2. He was arrested for it. 3. He called you a psycho. 2
lauri Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 There should be no doubt in your mind you made the right call. 2
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