MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted March 22, 2005 Posted March 22, 2005 HELP! I can't believe I am in this situation, and yes I deserve anything that comes my way. Here's the scoop. I have a date tomorrow night, sort of. It's with the guy I met online who offered to help me with home reno. Well, our online conversations have been quite flirtatious and I think he's expecting a kiss....not just a kiss but a kisssssss. Anyway the guy I broke up with last week called today, and I am still in love with him. It's the situation that isn't working, but we are still very much in love. I've gone and told all my friends how upset I was and they all told me breaking up seemed to be for the best. Me and him are having a talk later this week to pour out our hearts before he goes away for a few months. Here's my dilemma. Do I still go out with this guy tomorrow and let him help me at home? Do I ditch him pronto or just explain about the bf? I'm still getting over my marriage breakup and now I have an almost-ex bf and a new guy, who was supposed to be just a casual friendship! Why do I get myself into these things? I really need to do something else in my spare time!!!
life loser Posted March 23, 2005 Posted March 23, 2005 I would talk to your bf first and see what he has to say. then, follow your gut instinct - do what it tells you to do
amerikajin Posted March 23, 2005 Posted March 23, 2005 I think what you're doing isn't necessarily wrong, but not necessarily right, either. Technically, you've broken up with your ex, but the fact that you're meeting a final time means there's still closure to be made. What happens if he finds out about this "friend" of yours? I don't think he's going to think it's too kosher. My advice? You've got nothing invested in this new guy, but you've got quite a lot invested in your ex. I think your ex is entitled to an honorable separation without the negativity of having someone else already taking his place before he's totally out of the picture. Give him his due, have one last time together and whatever happens afterward, happens. Postpone the date with the new guy, and you might want to just be honest about the reasons, assuming you have been honest with him up to this point. Does he know you were dating someone and just recently broke up?
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted March 23, 2005 Author Posted March 23, 2005 I went out with the new guy last night, but it was a very casual one hour supper. I did talk to him beforehand and explained that I wasn't ready for any kind of intimacy. We just wanted to meet because he's coming over to measure my rooms on the weekend. He said that although we flirt online, he also only wants friendship at this point. What a gentleman! Finally someone who has values and will wait to really get to know me before trying to get me into bed! The meeting ended with a short hug and very quick kiss (on the lips) but I was so nervous I pretty much b-lined it outta there right after. We talked later, and both agreed that it was a very nice start to a very good friendship. As for the bf, we are getting together on Friday to discuss "closure". We are going to pour out our hearts, and it's either going to be a tearful goodbye or a discussion as to what we need from each other in the upcoming months while he is out of town. We may hookup again when he gets back in 4 months but there will be alot of expectations from my standpoint if he wants to make this work. And no I don't think the (ex)bf will be happy that I met this other guy. He actually told me he didn't think I would hook up with anyone while he was away even if we did breakup. That is good incentive for me to behave and not get in too deep while he's away, but I have to think about what I want....ugghhh so messy in my head!!
amerikajin Posted March 23, 2005 Posted March 23, 2005 It's just an opinion, but you might just want 4 months to yourself to sort things out.
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