Georgia2014 Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 I have a fear of getting an STD I've been lucky in the past and don't have one. I am going to get myself checked next week I'm also getting the papers as well. Would it be wrong with the next guy to ask to see his medical papers showing he's STD free?
Frank2thepoint Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 On the first or third date, no it's not appropriate. But once you two get physical, such as kissing, sensual touching, then it's appropriate to ask for medical papers. Well, I would be okay with it if a woman asked. Not all people would act so diplomatically. 1
Author Georgia2014 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Posted December 9, 2014 On the first or third date, no it's not appropriate. But once you two get physical, such as kissing, sensual touching, then it's appropriate to ask for medical papers. Well, I would be okay with it if a woman asked. Not all people would act so diplomatically. I obviously didn't mean in the beginning. Same here I would be fine if a guy asked me to see my medical papers.
Art_Critic Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 I think it is okay.. it is also okay to not start a sexual relationship without a current Full STD workup, if if isn't current and done after their last sexual encounter then it isn't accurate for you to be able to tell if they are clean of STD's 1
juicygirl Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 It's ok. I ask and I except to be asked too. There's a lot flying around these days, ok to be cautious. If someone freaks out about it maybe not the right person for you anyway. 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 Of course it's fine. Hell, it's responsible. I've known people contract Hepatitis or HIV from sexual encounters, even in situations where their new partner has told them that they already got an STI screen and was clear, but lied completely and knowingly infected the unsuspecting partner with HIV. I don't think I've actually asked to see someone's papers before, but if I had a huge fear of STIs I would. Usually when it gets sexual in a new relationship I would suggest we both go to the clinic together and get it done. But I generally trust their response, although in many ways that's foolish (I would be more cautious with a 'high risk' group, not that I tend to date people who are extremely promiscuous or injecting drug users). It's fine to ask. I'd do it in person though, might be a little bit of a shock to open an abrupt test asking someone for their STI result papers! 1
Author Georgia2014 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Posted December 9, 2014 It's ok. I ask and I except to be asked too. There's a lot flying around these days, ok to be cautious. If someone freaks out about it maybe not the right person for you anyway. I agree. I feel like only an infected man would be offended if I asked about his papers. I personally would not be offended if a man asked for my papers. I would probably like him more if he did ask me. It would show he is responsible and cares about his health. 1
Dork Vader Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 You should still use a condom. A person can test negative for hepitis C and HIV for up to 6-12 months after exposure. I personally have genital herpes. My doctor told me I could have had it for 4+ years and not known. You will onky test positive for herpes if the virus is active. The virus is sctive when it is shedding or you have an outbreak. I have not had an outbreak in 5 months. They do not test for HPV. HPV is diagnosed via symptoms and most men do not show symptoms so it is possible for you to contract that even with testing. If you don't want an STD use condoms and stay abstinent until you get to know the person. Condoms onky reduce the risk of transmission but are not full proof. 3
LisaSmith_1970 Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 You should still use a condom. A person can test negative for hepitis C and HIV for up to 6-12 months after exposure. I personally have genital herpes. My doctor told me I could have had it for 4+ years and not known. You will onky test positive for herpes if the virus is active. The virus is sctive when it is shedding or you have an outbreak. I have not had an outbreak in 5 months. They do not test for HPV. HPV is diagnosed via symptoms and most men do not show symptoms so it is possible for you to contract that even with testing. If you don't want an STD use condoms and stay abstinent until you get to know the person. Condoms onky reduce the risk of transmission but are not full proof. Should HPV even be considered serious for guys? As far as I know, it's risky for women seeing that it could lead to cervical cancer.
Brooke02 Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 Should HPV even be considered serious for guys? As far as I know, it's risky for women seeing that it could lead to cervical cancer. It does nothing to guys, except spread to women. Its really common, 1 in 2 women have it.
Author Georgia2014 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Posted December 9, 2014 You should still use a condom. A person can test negative for hepitis C and HIV for up to 6-12 months after exposure. I personally have genital herpes. My doctor told me I could have had it for 4+ years and not known. You will onky test positive for herpes if the virus is active. The virus is sctive when it is shedding or you have an outbreak. I have not had an outbreak in 5 months. They do not test for HPV. HPV is diagnosed via symptoms and most men do not show symptoms so it is possible for you to contract that even with testing. If you don't want an STD use condoms and stay abstinent until you get to know the person. Condoms onky reduce the risk of transmission but are not full proof. I'm just curious since you said you have genital herpes do you tell a new partner before sex you have it?
MissBee Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 I have a fear of getting an STD I've been lucky in the past and don't have one. I am going to get myself checked next week I'm also getting the papers as well. Would it be wrong with the next guy to ask to see his medical papers showing he's STD free? Why would it be wrong? It's smart. The thing is though this usually comes up in a relationship context and not casual sex contexts. It would be a lot more awkward to ask this of the person you're hooking up with than asking this of someone you're seeing exclusively. With my last bf it was the first time I had been in a relationship where we did not use condoms, as previously every time I've had sex I've used condoms. However, this didn't happen until after we talked about it and both of us went and got STD and HIV panels done and presented our results to each other and I also got on BC. With someone I'm seeing casually I just use condoms and I don't ask them for any medical papers. But if and when I plan to go condomless again in a relationship I will be sure to require that, it's only smart. Also if you have sex with someone new or are a sexually active person, getting tested every so often is something you should be doing. 2
carhill Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 I have a fear of getting an STD I've been lucky in the past and don't have one. I am going to get myself checked next week I'm also getting the papers as well. Would it be wrong with the next guy to ask to see his medical papers showing he's STD free? IMO, not wrong. When you're at the point of beginning sexual contact have the talk. If one can have sex, one can talk about sex in an open and honest manner, including STD's and birth control. It's part of being a responsible adult. Do people always do so? Nope! Up to you! 5
sillyanswer Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 I have a fear of getting an STD I've been lucky in the past and don't have one. I am going to get myself checked next week I'm also getting the papers as well. Would it be wrong with the next guy to ask to see his medical papers showing he's STD free? There's nothing wrong with that. Guys who are used to getting tested and are expecting their next test to be clear as well won't have a problem with it. People who have never been tested before (of both sexes) might get nervous about the idea but they need to stop being big babies and get it done. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 (edited) I didn't ask for med papers per se but she did tell me she was clean on 2 occasions that I asked. Said she had herself checked 6 mos prior. Turned out clean. Didn't actually see papers. But the most I got from her was oral... nothing more. She wasn't the promiscuous type anyway and only had been with 5 men in her life and she's early 39s On the first or third date, no it's not appropriate. But once you two get physical, such as kissing, sensual touching, then it's appropriate to ask for medical papers. Well, I would be okay with it if a woman asked. Not all people would act so diplomatically. Edited December 15, 2014 by LookAtThisPOst
Gaeta Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 Do not ask for a medical record and go together to get tested. If his medical record is older than 3 months and he had sex since then it's worth nothing. I also carry hsv-2 like 25% of the population. When you go for your STD check ask to be screened for hsv 1 and 2, it's so common that it's not even included in a general std screening. If your guy comes back positive don't panic, being hsv positive is not the end of the world. I take my daily antiviral and have no problem dating with my virus and I have never transmitted it. I always tell about my condition after 1-2 dates and I would never EVER have sex, even with protection, without telling it first. 1
Gloria25 Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 Wow, this one is a touchy one... I've never asked for papers and never been asked. I will admit that if I was asked, I'd be taken aback, but I guess I'd understand where they are coming from. But yes, like people said, there's a lot of things to take into consideration. You gotta make sure they got the appropriate testing - cuz doctors won't do testing for certain things like HIV or herpes unless you ask and/or they see something. Also, some of those diseases are dormant and/or aren't detectable for a certain time period after exposure.
Gaeta Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 I didn't ask for med papers per se but she did tell me she was clean on 2 occasions that I asked. Said she had herself checked 6 mos prior. Turned out clean. Didn't actually see papers. But the most I got from her was oral... nothing more. She wasn't the promiscuous type anyway and only had been with 5 men in her life and she's early 39s You don't ever take someone's word on STD. It can take up to 7 years to show up HIV symptoms, some HPV strand have no symptoms at all, and you can carry HSV for years and never have symptoms. When I got my positive hsv-2 diagnostic I fell off my chair, I was coming out of 2 long term relationships.
LookAtThisPOst Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 7 yrs? Never heard of that. Thought with HIV it was the 6 mos to 1 year rule for it to show up. You don't ever take someone's word on STD. It can take up to 7 years to show up HIV symptoms, some HPV strand have no symptoms at all, and you can carry HSV for years and never have symptoms. When I got my positive hsv-2 diagnostic I fell off my chair, I was coming out of 2 long term relationships.
Toodaloo Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 Its only sensible to ask the question. I ask if they have been tested and if they have slept with anyone since what protection they used etc. I had a viral STD. Transmitted by a man who thought he was safe because he had only ever slept with women he was married to before me. It didn't show any symptoms in him but has wrecked my insides. Shame that 2/3 of those women he was married to also slept with half his colleagues, relatives and any stray milkmen that happened past during the marriage... I consider myself lucky not to have caught worse. Personally I get tested after each relationship because its what I have always done. Even with the use of condoms I would get myself regularly tested. I have been MOT'ed and given the all clear but I was not given any papers at the time to prove it and to be perfectly frank its probably going to be a long time before I see any action again anyway... I would not be offended in the slightest. Its shows a consideration and caring for my health and well being as well as his. Uncomfortable perhaps but if you can't discuss this then perhaps you shouldn't be sleeping with them... Plenty can be passed on with both oral and penetrative...
Gaeta Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 7 yrs? Never heard of that. Thought with HIV it was the 6 mos to 1 year rule for it to show up. I am not talking about showing up in a test, I am talking about symptoms. Some people think because they have no STD symptoms then they are 'clean' which is as I explained a huge misconception. 2
Toodaloo Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 7 yrs? Never heard of that. Thought with HIV it was the 6 mos to 1 year rule for it to show up. You have to wait 6 months for the test but it can take a decade for symptoms to show...
LookAtThisPOst Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 I am not talking about showing up in a test, I am talking about symptoms. Some people think because they have no STD symptoms then they are 'clean' which is as I explained a huge misconception. Well it was only oral. No vaginal penetration
carhill Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 Yeah, regarding HIV, those were the numbers I got back in the 80's, hence, later, once I started having sex, I waited at least six months between partners to baseline and get cleared to the level of testing they had back then. I think I still have the lab reports. As this was before the digital age, I'd give my prospective partner a photocopy of the report as produced by the lab, Qwest IIRC. I think they tested for five or six STD's. I needed my doc's rx for the lab work and they sent the report directly to him and he shared it with me. HIV was pretty scary back then, early 80's to early 90's. Not a lot was understood. They were still figuring it out. Combined with prior and general promiscuity of the new sexual age, some people were understandably concerned.
Gaeta Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 Well it was only oral. No vaginal penetration She can give you hsv-1 to genital through oral. I know people don't think about it and they take chances all the time (80% of population have hsv-1 oral). I have a male friend with hsv-1 on genitals he got it from his girlfriend having a cold sore. If you give her oral you can get her hpv in the throat, you can't get her hsv-2 though, at least something positive about hsv-2. You can get the hsv-1 everywhere genital, mouth, eyes, nose, brain. Hsv-2 remains below the belt.
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