LisaSmith_1970 Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 I've heard things that when guys decide to make-out/kiss on the first date it means nothing more. For me, when a guy gives "hugs" on the first date-I just think of it as a friendly gesture, I give family members hugs-that doesn't mean anything to me. But when a guy decides to move in on a kiss-that to me is intimate. Guys don't just make out with girls they aren't interested, do they? That just doesn't make sense-a guy that has no attraction/not slightly interested would kiss a girl. Then, I heard things from guys that say, if they are truly interested-they would hold off on a kiss until the 6th date??!?! And that guys just kiss girls they don't like? Doesn't make any sense. Any guys on here to clarify this?
Gloria25 Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 If I got a hug and/or no kiss (even a peck on the cheek) on a first date - I'd assume he's not romantically interested. IMO, there's a way a guy can kiss you on the 1st date w/o coming off as a perv, being pushy and still demonstrating he's into you. Think of him softly giving you a nice kiss/caress behind your ear and/or like near your neck. Now, if there's chemistry and a hot/heavy kissing-petting session happens, yippee!!! Nothing like turning on the heat - builds up anticipation for what's gonna happen next time you two worlds collide!!!
NotUnlikeWaves Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 Now, if there's chemistry and a hot/heavy kissing-petting session happens, yippee!!! Nothing like turning on the heat - builds up anticipation for what's gonna happen next time you two worlds collide!!! that sounds hot
smg15 Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 I've heard things that when guys decide to make-out/kiss on the first date it means nothing more. For me, when a guy gives "hugs" on the first date-I just think of it as a friendly gesture, I give family members hugs-that doesn't mean anything to me. But when a guy decides to move in on a kiss-that to me is intimate. Guys don't just make out with girls they aren't interested, do they? That just doesn't make sense-a guy that has no attraction/not slightly interested would kiss a girl. Then, I heard things from guys that say, if they are truly interested-they would hold off on a kiss until the 6th date??!?! And that guys just kiss girls they don't like? Doesn't make any sense. Any guys on here to clarify this? of course guys make out with girls they are not interested in:laugh: 2
Phoe Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 I never never never EVER kiss on the first date. Never. If a man tried i would turn away. I prefer a man to show restraint and save kissing for a later time. With my ex, I was the first girl ever that he did not kiss on the first date. He did so because he really liked me and wanted to show restraint and wait. That meant a lot to me.
smg15 Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 I never never never EVER kiss on the first date. Never. If a man tried i would turn away. I prefer a man to show restraint and save kissing for a later time. With my ex, I was the first girl ever that he did not kiss on the first date. He did so because he really liked me and wanted to show restraint and wait. That meant a lot to me. I agree, plus it would be hard for me anyway since I would be in public
somedude81 Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 Normally I prefer to only kiss girls I really like. If I'm on just a first date with the girl I probably don't know her that well and odds are I probably won't like her enough to initiate a kiss. I don't think I kissed my ex till our third date, and I was definitely interested in her by then.
Andy_K Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 I've occasionally kissed girls at the end of a first date just so they'd stop talking to me and leave But I've also not kissed girls I was really into, just because I didn't get the right signals, or it didn't feel right. What means a whole lot more is whether you get a text later or the next day asking you out on a second date. 1
sillyanswer Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 I've heard things that when guys decide to make-out/kiss on the first date it means nothing more. For me, when a guy gives "hugs" on the first date-I just think of it as a friendly gesture, I give family members hugs-that doesn't mean anything to me. But when a guy decides to move in on a kiss-that to me is intimate. Guys don't just make out with girls they aren't interested, do they? That just doesn't make sense-a guy that has no attraction/not slightly interested would kiss a girl. Then, I heard things from guys that say, if they are truly interested-they would hold off on a kiss until the 6th date??!?! And that guys just kiss girls they don't like? Doesn't make any sense. Any guys on here to clarify this? I don't think this can be clarified into a simple rule as everyone is different. I've heard women (here on Loveshack, and other places) say that it wasn't a date if there wasn't a kiss, and others say that they'll never kiss on a first date, so there clearly isn't a single right answer about kissing on first dates. Of all the first dates in the western world, I suspect that "making out" is not common although it may be more common in some age groups and in some settings. From my own experience, I find that it takes two to kiss... my own desire or attraction or interest isn't sufficient to make sure a kiss happens. Sometimes I try and get rebuffed, sometimes I don't try because the body language doesn't seem positive enough, sometimes I don't try because the opportunity doesn't present itself. I don't kiss people I don't find attractive, but I'm sure there are people out there who will kiss anyone willing.
d0nnivain Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 It varies for many people. Some people don't touch. Others have sex. Physical contact is an expression of physical interest. By itself it does not concretely convey emotional attachment; men & women are both capable of hugging, kissing, making out with & having sex with people they do not have any emotional connection to. On a date, I expect the evening will end in a good night kiss. My husband did not kiss me until our 3rd date. I was very annoyed & went into that date full prepared to break off with him for lack of kissing. I would not advise reading too much into the physical -- a little, yes but not as the sole basis for any analysis.
Rydo Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 Guys do kiss girls they aren't interested in. Actually plenty of guys will have sex with girls they aren't interested in. I have been guilty of this in the past. Personally I always kiss on a first date and if the girl doesn't want to then I assume they aren't interested and don't bother sorting a second date. Kissing is important to me, if someone is a bad kisser also there will be no second date. 1
mysteryscape Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 Yes, guys kiss, make out, have sex on the first date when they are not really interested in anything long term. Generally, I take kissing/making out very seriously and don't attempt it unless I am pretty sure that we are both into each other a lot. For one thing, there can be terribly hurt feelings when two people aren't on the same page. Now, something really interesting is when the girl kisses the guy on the first date!
MissBee Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 (edited) I've heard things that when guys decide to make-out/kiss on the first date it means nothing more. For me, when a guy gives "hugs" on the first date-I just think of it as a friendly gesture, I give family members hugs-that doesn't mean anything to me. But when a guy decides to move in on a kiss-that to me is intimate. Guys don't just make out with girls they aren't interested, do they? That just doesn't make sense-a guy that has no attraction/not slightly interested would kiss a girl. Then, I heard things from guys that say, if they are truly interested-they would hold off on a kiss until the 6th date??!?! And that guys just kiss girls they don't like? Doesn't make any sense. Any guys on here to clarify this? I look at the overall date. I've had dates where we didn't make out on the first date and things still progressed. So I wouldn't necessarily assume no kiss means disinterest, but would look at other aspects of the date, especially whether or not you planned to go out again. A man most likely will not kiss a woman he's not attracted to...but be careful of assuming attraction means he likes you and wants to pursue something serious. A man may find you attractive but not want to seriously date you. Also, lots of guys will take making out and sex from a woman they're not all that into but don't find disgusting. I've certainly had male friends say they've slept with women they didn't like all that much before. I've certainly had dates which ended up in heavy making out but later on the guy didn't want anything serious. So if you are looking for a relationship you have to pay attention to more than that and also look at consistency. A lot of men just interested in sex may come on hot and heavy with nothing to lose while a man who is more serious and plans to stick around may be able to hold off on that knowing he'll have time. Point is: pay attention to the date as a whole and how things felt and if you've planned for the future and not just whether or not there was a kiss or making out. Edited December 9, 2014 by MissBee
Danda Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 I think something like this could really vary from guy to guy, so I wouldn't try to use any blanket rule for it. Some men might think it would come across as disrespectful if they try to make out with you on a first date, even they really like you. Some men will go nuts on your face even if they don't like you, in the hopes that they can get a blow job or something out of you. Some men will really want to make out with but will be really shy/nervous, and/or your green light signals won't be as clear as you might think they are. Some men will be going through an experimentation phase and will try to kiss you as long as they don't find you off-putting, just to get the practice under their belt. And some men will be confident and like you at the same time, and will go for it, and it will be a very straightforward thing. Etc, etc etc. I'd never pass any judgement or predictions based on how physical a guy gets on the very first date (unless he turns into a drunk octopus and is just way over the top, but that aside). My second boyfriend and I went on five dates and he was still too scared to kiss me, just kept getting really close to my face and then saying something random and pulling away lol. I finally just asked him straight up, "Do you want to kiss me?" We made out for about an hour and it was great. I know some women would be put off by that level of shyness but I really liked him a lot, so don't judge me too harshly.
PogoStick Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 If I kiss a girl on a first date then there is probably at least some initial attraction. If I skip on a kiss it doesn't mean it's missing though. I could be into her but she isn't giving signals that she is attracted to me, so I pass and give her a hug instead.
acrosstheuniverse Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 I've heard it's common although I've rarely done it. I don't like to kiss until the second date at least, mostly because of how many first dates I've been on with someone I don't end up liking, and know there won't be a second date with! It would be so awkward to kiss them knowing I don't fancy them and will never see them again. At least by date two you both know you're into each other to at least some extent. I had one guy kiss me just to get back at his ex and use it as ammo to win her back over. I wasn't bothered because I wasn't into him either and only accepted the kiss so that my own ex wasn't the last person I kissed. Just because you kiss doesn't mean a thing.
mysteryscape Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 If I kiss a girl on a first date then there is probably at least some initial attraction. I would certainly think so!
Darren2013 Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 I suppose making out is a common thing on a first date but that doesn't mean I have to be a part of it. I will make out with a woman at my own pace and ideally it's better that the woman initiates any sexual contact. I'm a believer that as a guy my role on that first date is to keep conversations light and funny and make sure she's doing 70% of the talking. My job is to do more listening and less talking and ask her questions on what she's talking about. Leaning forward, looking into her eyes, etc. At the end of the first date I won't be doing a hug or a kiss but a handshake. Other than that I'm keeping my hands to myself. If she feels comfortable enough to molest me on the first date then fine. That's on her but I won't encourage it. When it comes to sex I feel it's better to play it safe and let her come to me with that. I consider myself a gentleman by nature and show manners and class by opening up her car door, walking her to her front door and then quickly get out of there. No accepting of invites into her house in the early dates even if I legitimately have to go to the bathroom. I can hold it until I drive to the nearest gas station or 7 eleven or Walmart or whatever. If I can't hold it that long then I really have a problem and shouldn't be dating until I see a doctor about bladder problems.
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