How Much Does Money/Being Established and Stable Matter to Women?

[NotUnlikeWaves]

I see a lot of guys claiming that it's very important to women as they get older (mid to late 20s and 30s) for a man to be established and successful. Where does this come from? I see tons of guys who are broke as can be, living paycheck to paycheck who are dating nice looking and pleasant women

 

 

I'm kind of the flipside of this. I'm incredibly successful for a 26 year old man - honestly I almost make more money than I know what to do with while living in a very reasonable cost of living area - have a beautiful luxury condo, drive a Lexus, really have no budget, just an awesome lifestyle, always dress nice and I am just absolutely horrendous with women. The only women I ever get is ones that I'm not really attracted to who throw themselves at me because they find me incredibly handsome/gorgeous. I've never been able to get or maintain anything with a decent looking girl (only been on dates with 2 decent looking girls my whole life)

 

 

Note: I'm honestly not saying this because I feel like I'm entitled to women at all. I don't even want women to like me because of my money (I don't care for gold diggers one ounce). This thread is just more out of curiousity. Have others here experienced a similar thing? Am I just not successful enough for the true gold diggers? I'm making around 150K. Do you have to make millions for it to be considered a significant income nowadays?

Edited December 9, 2014 by NotUnlikeWaves

[90s kid]

Every woman is different. For some women, having a man who makes a lot of money is a priority. Other women will gladly marry a starving artist as long as she loves him. At the end of the day, having a ton of money usually isn't enough. Ask yourself what other factors may be responsible for why you're not attracting women.

[NotUnlikeWaves]

Ask yourself what other factors may be responsible for why you're not attracting women.

 

 

I've been trying to figure that out for a while

 

 

I'm a little negative/defeatist when it comes to even trying with women but I know plenty of guys more negative than me (who are much less attractive and much less successful than me) who have stumbled into relationships so I guess it baffles me in some ways.

 

 

I feel like my package to offer is excellent. Beyond the superficial traits, I'm very caring, warm, affectionate, loyal, etc... I take as much pride in my character as I do anything else but maybe I'm not presenting it all in a good way? I dunno.

Edited December 9, 2014 by NotUnlikeWaves

[PogoStick]

Are you in the US? What kind of work is making $150k?

 

$150k happens to be around my target number in a few years. I expect it to certainly be a positive factor in dating. I don't think it can make up for bad traits, but it can enhance positive ones.

Edited December 9, 2014 by PogoStick

[shet]

Increasingly as I've grown older and not attained financial success, I have seen firsthand how often it's a monumental dealbreaker for women, and been told so directly. It's frankly been very hard these last few years not to dismiss all women as small minded grasping materialists, and it's almost entirely on faith I don't.

 

I once actually read a thread on this forum, some years ago, about the question of careers/employment/occupation etc. In that thread about two thirds of the women claimed that as long as a guy wasn't just unemployed and doing nothing, as long as he was working for himself, whether a creative type or college or crap job, regardless of income, they were happy.

 

I've found the opposite. Which just shows you how much of what people say on this forum is bull**** aimed at their own psyche, to pose as better people than they are even to themselves.

[GSP21]

Increasingly as I've grown older and not attained financial success, I have seen firsthand how often it's a monumental dealbreaker for women, and been told so directly. It's frankly been very hard these last few years not to dismiss all women as small minded grasping materialists, and it's almost entirely on faith I don't.

 

I once actually read a thread on this forum, some years ago, about the question of careers/employment/occupation etc. In that thread about two thirds of the women claimed that as long as a guy wasn't just unemployed and doing nothing, as long as he was working for himself, whether a creative type or college or crap job, regardless of income, they were happy.

 

I've found the opposite. Which just shows you how much of what people say on this forum is bull**** aimed at their own psyche, to pose as better people than they are even to themselves.

 

This this this. When women are generally younger (under 25) they don't care so much, but when they are looking to settle down as they get older, income is one of the main factors when looking for a guy, at least from what I've seen. People posting online are probably just trying to be nice/not seem materialistic. I can't really blame women too much, they're just looking for financial stability that secures their own life and the life of the potential children in the future. Honestly, if you're making $150K at 26 and you're not getting quality women, you probably have severe character flaws or are hideously ugly (no offense).

[endlessabyss]

This this this. When women are generally younger (under 25) they don't care so much, but when they are looking to settle down as they get older, income is one of the main factors when looking for a guy, at least from what I've seen. People posting online are probably just trying to be nice/not seem materialistic. I can't really blame women too much, they're just looking for financial stability that secures their own life and the life of the potential children in the future.

 

 

Good news for OP than! He should be expecting a gold digger right around the corner lol.

[NopeNah]

Besides car/housing appearance... I, personally, never discuss my finance's with anyone who's not responsible for them. I have to KNOW you before I divulge that info..otherwise..i'm dressed nice,my car's clean and I live with my mom.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I see a lot of guys claiming that it's very important to women as they get older (mid to late 20s and 30s) for a man to be established and successful. Where does this come from? I see tons of guys who are broke as can be, living paycheck to paycheck who are dating nice looking and pleasant women

 

 

I'm kind of the flipside of this. I'm incredibly successful for a 26 year old man - honestly I almost make more money than I know what to do with while living in a very reasonable cost of living area - have a beautiful luxury condo, drive a Lexus, really have no budget, just an awesome lifestyle, always dress nice and I am just absolutely horrendous with women. The only women I ever get is ones that I'm not really attracted to who throw themselves at me because they find me incredibly handsome/gorgeous. I've never been able to get or maintain anything with a decent looking girl (only been on dates with 2 decent looking girls my whole life)

 

 

Just curious, NotUnlikeWaves....do you not have any college loans you need to pay back, as most people your age do.

Man, I was still living with my parents at 26 after I got out of college. Was in debt in college loans mostly at the time obviously. I was employed, building up my funds, but wasn't living "high on the hog" either.

 

I'm making around 150K

 

Wow, which relative/friend hooked you up with that position. I sure could use one. :-)

[Haydn]

Only ever met on girl who cared about fiscal success. (The one that brought me here). Morally and financially bankrupt to a degree at that time.

 

With my BH, we split most things. Never any issues. (Apart from a heated debate about my rather expensive `man bag`

[d0nnivain]

It depends on the woman.

 

 

I was always financially stable. I expected a guy would at least be hard working.

 

 

I did have a LTR with an unemployed actor for a while. He was a good house husband. My house was spotless. He ran all my errands. There was a hot meal on the table every night when I walked in the door from work. I paid for everything. The money isn't what broke us up.

 

 

DH was under-employed, going to school & working a PT job to make ends meet when we met. I admired his determination

[Rydo]

Women tend not to like guys that refer to themselves as incredible at anything, wether that's successful, good looking, rich etc. That might be where your problem lies. I'm not sure how pay scales work where you are from but if its US dollars then 150k is enough to be comfortable where I live but is not going to attract gold diggers etc. Though I haven't looked at the GBP to dollar exchange rate for a while. I'm guessing about 95k gbp which is well above average but not enough to really make a difference when you take tax into account.

[MissTrudy]

Sounds like you live in an area where you're an outlier. What is the male:female ratio like in your town? What are the females like in your town (that is, are they successful, independent types)? Are you kind of geeky/nerdy? (I don't mean this to be offensive, as I am a proud nerd myself).

 

How do you meet women? How many female friends do you have? These are things you should consider; you might need new ways to meet potential partners. When I was single I tried meeting people through activities but it was difficult because the men here are workaholics and it turns out that OLD is successful in my area because everyone's lives revolve around working on computers.

 

I live in an area with lots of successful, wealthy men, and many of them are single. It's mostly because they don't know a lot of females (they work in male-dominated fields). They're arrogant or awkward when they meet women, which is an instant turn-off.

 

The women here tend to be on equal footing with the men so they're not necessarily looking for someone who can take care of them. I have a few friends who've actually considered marrying down, and date accordingly!

 

Because I am nerdy I have a lot of cute nerdy guy friends. Most of the single ones fear rejection so they don't approach girls. They also don't know many girls and they don't know how to relate to a woman who is not their mother. I think knowing how to relate to women is extremely important in dating and is often underrated.

[Eighty_nine]

For me, it matters very much that a guy is stable, able to afford his own place (rent or own), has a car, and makes enough money to join me for dinners and comedy shows and fun stuff. (I let them pay sometimes, but often split things). Like I said, all this is very very important to me. But anything beyond that? Not important at all. So a minimum wage job wouldn't be acceptable to me, but whether he made 40k or 140k wouldn't matter regarding my romantic feelings toward him.

[PogoStick]

On the flip side, even when living with my parents with only a part time job I was able to have a serious relationship with: an aerospace engineer, a college professor, and a hospital nurse, ages 25, 45, and 31. All of them make above average income, probably $60k or so. I also met a cute blonde special ed high school teacher who said she wouldn't fault me at all for living with my parents because life is difficult and expensive, or something like that.

 

Maybe they felt I had potential, or a plan for the future, or were giving me credit for the past when I was on my own and had a house. Yes, money would keep away some girls, but not as many as I would have expected.

 

Anyway, as someone else said, if the above can be done when broke, you should be wondering why you can't do at least that well with a considerable income.

[Standard-Fare]

Just being blunt here. Something about the way you describe your lifestyle (the "luxury condo," etc) is a turnoff. It sounds like you're not shy about showing off your financial success, and that you expect this to be bait for women. If you're giving off even a whiff of that vibe in person, it's probably not working in your favor.

[Rydo]

Just being blunt here. Something about the way you describe your lifestyle (the "luxury condo," etc) is a turnoff. It sounds like you're not shy about showing off your financial success, and that you expect this to be bait for women. If you're giving off even a whiff of that vibe in person, it's probably not working in your favor.

 

If I could like a comment more than once I would. I agree totally with that, if you can come across this conceited in writing I imagine its much worse in person.. Err no offence meant just trying to be helpful.

[BikerAccnt]

It works both ways. For me, I don't wouldn't want to settle down with a woman who is constantly broke, or who earn significantly less than me. I don't care how beautiful she is.

 

 

I am not the sole provider type. I believe in equality of the sexes, that includes equality in being able to help the family unit survive, and that means income generation.

 

 

I think in long term relationships with family, houses, and shared bills, income matters.

[thefooloftheyear]

I dont care what type of fantasy romance you think you have, see if it survives if you cant earn enough to pay the bills...And I dont care how much things change, you still need money to live and if you want to start a family, then as a man, you better be prepared to be the heavy and as a woman you should expect no less that he can..Not everyone wants to drop infants off at daycare with a stranger to be raised...

 

I have always been the financial heavy...I make more than most and it gives me freedom in a lot of things...As a father of a daughter, I would expect that the guy can provide for her in the event she becomes sick and cant work, wants to have a baby, etc..

 

Most of the crying here come from guys that dont want that responsibility...Thats fine...But then dont complain if she wants someone that is more self sufficient...That doesnt make her necessarily a gold digger....It just means she is smart and is looking at the "big picture"...

 

TFY