Jasmine.k Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 I am 18 years old and so is my current boyfriend. Broke up with my boyfriend of 7 months around the beginning of november. This all lasted for a month. It all started by our 7 month relationship where he treated me very unfairly and he was very emotionally distant, and I couldn't take it anymore so I decided to leave him. After I left him I vented to this very close guy friend of mine whom I started to grow feelings for and he as for I. As my boyfriend, (or at the time my ex) tried to get me back by telling me things will change, and he really was trying I kept being hesitant to go back because I was talking to this new guy. I didn't tell my ex about it and when he found out, online he publicly humiliated me and called me a cheater. I was devastated. So for a week I dropped the new guy, and felt so guilty that I was there for my ex. I mean, I still loved him, I was just trying to ignore that feelings in fear. After a week of trying to talk to my ex again, new guy would text me about his feelings, I would reply. But after feeling guilty for replying i told the new guy i wanted to go with my ex and i cared about my ex more. The new guy ended up texting me things like, " good you guys deserve eachother. Go with that *******, you're a hoe. All you're good for is to f***." I tried hiding the convos with the new guy, and my ex who is now my boyfriend found out. I was scared to tell him the truth. So when he confronted me for the texts, I lied to his face. And came clean after. (Too late, right). I'm stupid, and dumb, and I feel more guilty than ever. I never meant to hurt anyone. I was just hurt and confused myself. I lost his trust. And i feel hopeless on getting it back. I'm at the point of going through pain from the past, self-guilt, and self-torture. What can I do? My boyfriend is telling me that we can work it out, although, the effort he put into showing me things could get better after treating me bad is gone. Now its my turn to be there for him, and I am willing to. I just dont know if im emotionally ready to be strong for both of us.
DrReplyInRhymes Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 I am 18 years old and so is my current boyfriend. Broke up with my boyfriend of 7 months around the beginning of november. This all lasted for a month. It all started by our 7 month relationship where he treated me very unfairly and he was very emotionally distant, and I couldn't take it anymore so I decided to leave him. After I left him I vented to this very close guy friend of mine whom I started to grow feelings for and he as for I. As my boyfriend, (or at the time my ex) tried to get me back by telling me things will change, and he really was trying I kept being hesitant to go back because I was talking to this new guy. I didn't tell my ex about it and when he found out, online he publicly humiliated me and called me a cheater. I was devastated. So for a week I dropped the new guy, and felt so guilty that I was there for my ex. I mean, I still loved him, I was just trying to ignore that feelings in fear. After a week of trying to talk to my ex again, new guy would text me about his feelings, I would reply. But after feeling guilty for replying i told the new guy i wanted to go with my ex and i cared about my ex more. The new guy ended up texting me things like, " good you guys deserve eachother. Go with that *******, you're a hoe. All you're good for is to f***." I tried hiding the convos with the new guy, and my ex who is now my boyfriend found out. I was scared to tell him the truth. So when he confronted me for the texts, I lied to his face. And came clean after. (Too late, right). I'm stupid, and dumb, and I feel more guilty than ever. I never meant to hurt anyone. I was just hurt and confused myself. I lost his trust. And i feel hopeless on getting it back. I'm at the point of going through pain from the past, self-guilt, and self-torture. What can I do? My boyfriend is telling me that we can work it out, although, the effort he put into showing me things could get better after treating me bad is gone. Now its my turn to be there for him, and I am willing to. I just dont know if im emotionally ready to be strong for both of us. Yes, you can.
d0nnivain Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 You need to get BOTH of these idiots out of your life. After you broke up with your EX for treating you badly, you were free to do anything you wanted. In that context you started to get close to another boy. You had every right to do that because you were a free agent. For your EX to publically humiliate you & call you a cheater was wrong. You were already broken up with him so you did not cheat. His actions were mean & he lied about you. Granted, he was hurt & lashing out but that doesn't change the fact that he tried to sully your reputation. I do not understand why you felt guilty instead of pissed. What was there for you to feel guilty about? Were you supposed to sit around for the rest of your life never dating anybody because of him? Puh-lease. Get real. You then hurt the other guy's feelings by pulling away from him. Understandable because at best he was a rebound. His angry, nasty reaction to curse at you & call you a whore also indicates that he has no character & you are better off without him too Do not define yourself by the men you date. Why is it your turn to be there for your EX-BF in order to work it out? You didn't cheat. He was awful to you. What is he doing to earn your trust back? If nothing, then you are better off single.
Lokin4AReason Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 sounds like something that i went through ( well, not the cheating part tho ) boy one ( the ex and current bf ) well, he put himself in that situation. he " treated me very unfairly and he was very emotionally distant " i quote. sounds like that he isnt so mature for his age. treat others at how you want to be treated ... those things ( and there are a few others ), kill relationships quick ... boy two .... he was the rebound guy ( as d0nnivain mentioned ). sounds like that you have mixed emotion(s). boy one, is hurtful and distance. while boy two, got hurt and that bridge is burned ... unfortunately to say, some things are better left alone and move on ... ( trust me, take it from experience )
lonewalker Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 My advice is a bit different. Just apologise to your bf that you are sorry. And you are equally emotionally hurt that time and not sure what to do. Whatever he decide to do is his call. Just apologise. And if he is willing to trust you again, you are willing to work with him and put all behind you and start new.
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