bigtrouble Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 Thanks big trouble - appreciate it. I just felt like if there was ever any hope at all of her coming back, she would have to get over her ex fully first. And this clearly is not going to help her get over him! Everyone says the same thing and has said the same thing for almost 2 months now - I just have to move on and accept it. And while I fully agree with it, I can't help but feel like **** for getting invested emotionally in something where I wasn't getting much in return no matter how hard I tried. And in hindsight I never should have even committed to this girl given how soon she was out of her relationship and how clearly not over him she was even though she said she was. Don't feel that way (don't feel bad about it), she gave you the full cup, and you gave her too, she tasted it and you did so, but it was not the wine that she wants, it may have been what she needed at the time. She loved and cared for you in her own little way, but she has to go back now to where she feels she belongs. I know its hard to let go, when you are emotionally invested and even if you saw the red flags, you really can't help falling for her, I know how you feel, The best way is never to regret it, just be glad that you had good memories of her, and heal. You're doing great with NC just keep it up....
Author leafsfan1967 Posted January 17, 2015 Author Posted January 17, 2015 Don't feel that way (don't feel bad about it), she gave you the full cup, and you gave her too, she tasted it and you did so, but it was not the wine that she wants, it may have been what she needed at the time. She loved and cared for you in her own little way, but she has to go back now to where she feels she belongs. I know its hard to let go, when you are emotionally invested and even if you saw the red flags, you really can't help falling for her, I know how you feel, The best way is never to regret it, just be glad that you had good memories of her, and heal. You're doing great with NC just keep it up.... The thing is, she never actually did give me the "full cup". She was emotionally unavailable, hot and cold, half there and half not. That's the part that hurts even more because I know if she was over the guy and gave herself to me fully, she would probably feel things with me she couldn't feel when she was still emotionally connected to him.
Nolan 93 Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 The thing is, she never actually did give me the "full cup". She was emotionally unavailable, hot and cold, half there and half not. That's the part that hurts even more because I know if she was over the guy and gave herself to me fully, she would probably feel things with me she couldn't feel when she was still emotionally connected to him. Don't they always do that? I noticed with my current ex she could not give me her all until about five months in. I understand she was afraid of me hurting her because of my flirty reputation at work. But she was the one I didn't want to play any games with, and her getting her heart broken. But i made sure to handle her with care, and I did. So she finally went back to the ex, shame. Hey man mine went back a week after the break up, how do you think I felt. Like **** thats what lol, you know tomorrow marks the two month mark. I don't know how she can sleep at night knowing she broke someone else's heart for their own gain, even after all I mended her heart back. Like she took my full heart and traded me her shattered one. Its a shame a damn shame, but some reason I think it depends how they were raised you know? I've always been raised to not be selfish, and care for others, just good morals throughout my whole childhood. Idk it makes me think man.
bigtrouble Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 The thing is, she never actually did give me the "full cup". She was emotionally unavailable, hot and cold, half there and half not. That's the part that hurts even more because I know if she was over the guy and gave herself to me fully, she would probably feel things with me she couldn't feel when she was still emotionally connected to him. She's hot it was the full cup, it was what she needed... She goes cold, she realize its not same wine she wants... Bottom line, you are a great guy, you would have done anything to keep her happy, you gave it all, you deserve better. Just NC and heal it will get better. 1
JonjMie Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 Thanks big trouble - appreciate it. I just felt like if there was ever any hope at all of her coming back, she would have to get over her ex fully first. And this clearly is not going to help her get over him! Everyone says the same thing and has said the same thing for almost 2 months now - I just have to move on and accept it. And while I fully agree with it, I can't help but feel like **** for getting invested emotionally in something where I wasn't getting much in return no matter how hard I tried. And in hindsight I never should have even committed to this girl given how soon she was out of her relationship and how clearly not over him she was even though she said she was. I was very similar mate and you are further down the line than me, investing emotion and time into someone who isn't giving it back is painful, especially when they kick you into touch and find someone else, my ex is dating a week into ending it with me, if you look at my posts you can see my story. I've found out the truth by snooping and she's not a cheat or a liar, I can't call her names, she just tried and wasn't into me as much as I was with her, like me you probably feel angry you didn't see any red flags, we should have protected ourselves but we didn't we gave ourselves in full and it didn't work. Be strong you gave her everything and that makes you a great person, things I find are helping, in fact I'm going to start a new thread of things to do. Good luck mate and keep posting, when you stop posting I'll know you've moved onwards and don't need to rely on this site.
Author leafsfan1967 Posted January 17, 2015 Author Posted January 17, 2015 Thanks JonkMie - appreciate your input. Posting here is definitely better than posting anywhere else (especially to her!). I was actually doing a lot better until I found out she went back to him, because it kind of confirmed what I feared all along which was that I was probably just a rebound and her heart was somewhere else. Sucks because I wanted her so so badly.
Eighty_nine Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 Thanks JonkMie - appreciate your input. Posting here is definitely better than posting anywhere else (especially to her!). I was actually doing a lot better until I found out she went back to him, because it kind of confirmed what I feared all along which was that I was probably just a rebound and her heart was somewhere else. Sucks because I wanted her so so badly. Actually, now you know it wasn't you. And I promise you, the ex will go back to his old ways and she'll eventually miss you.
johnson_j Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 Look bud we discussed this earlier. Just forget about this woman, forget about explanations, and realize that you deserve better. She messed up. If anyone is going to fix it, it needs to come from her. If it doesn't, see the second sentence above.
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