ThisisIt606 Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 I've been on 5 dates with this guy who is a busy 2nd year medical resident. His schedule is insane and he's constantly tired. He does make time for me however which I appreciate. He got off over a 12 hour shift and made plans to see me after. We live right next door to each other so it's most conveniet to meet up at one of our places since our apts are both close to each other as well as the hospital. These dates don't last too long (1-1.5 hours bc he's so tired) I had a performance recently that he was going to come to but work got too hectic. He told me he was going to have to miss it and apologized a lot. I could tell he felt really bad. He wished me luck mult times (early AM and right before I went on) and then texted me late saying he may now be awake but wanted to know how it went and hoped it went well. He also said he'd love to see a video. When I went over to see him after his 12 hour shift (he invited me) he wanted to watch my video right away and told me I did a great job, impressive, etc. We were cuddling and then we started making out as we watching 2 episodes of a comedy show. He kept saying I had "too many clothes on" (just had on 1 shirt and pants)... and he kept trying to get me to take off my pants. I kept saying no. I guess my voice was kinda playful at first , I said it more sternly and he stopped asking. He said I had "such nice underwear" and he wanted to see. I said you and LOOK but that's it. I went over looking nice and even though he showered/smelled good he was a bit deshevled in his attire (2 different socks one turned inside out for instance) His stomach was also grumbling and making all these weird (gas?) noises. He apologized and said it always does that. I've never heard it that bad before though. It was a bit distracting when cuddling/making out/watching tv. He apologized for not being more talkative and just lying there/cuddling me. I asked him a few questions based on the TV show to just learn more about him. He'd answer/ask me them back. But then he sounded like he got woken up out of a sleep "what? what?! I'm sorry... i think i need to go to bed" He said it was good seeing me even if it was short and he asked what the rest of my week looked like. We decided an early dinner at his place before my class. He also leaves later this week to go to his home state for 2 weeks/holiday break. I recently texted him asking if we were still on for dinner and suggested we just pick up some food as it might be easier. (he originally suggested he'd cook for me... but i don't see him having enough time/energy to do that. and i also don't want to make it too stressful for him. In addition, he told me he wasn't a great cook and I do want to have a good meal before my class.) I met him online and he still signs into the dating site. He told me to add him on FB and I saw he has a few more female friends around my age added to fb. (could be from dating site but idk) As we've only seen each other 5 times, and the latest have been very short in duration due to him being tired.... is it too early to ask "what are we?" I do NOT feel comfortable doing anything below the waist with him without being exclusive. But at the same time I don't feel i know him well enough to be exclusive. Should I just give up on him since his schedule is so hectic? It's annoying to have this tired guy always trying to get in your pants. I just wish he could be functional so we could talk. How do I handle this? When he's actually functional he's a nice sweet guy that I"d like to get to know more.
Gloria25 Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 Some one in school - especially medical and/or law school - especially if they go to school and work, IMO, are not gonna be much RL material. They barely have time to brush their teeth. But, I've heard some medical students get some chick to "support" them through their studies (be available to cook, clean, sex etc.) at the guy's convenience - and when they're done with medical school they "upgrade" and marry who they really wanted to be - especially by choosing a "trophy" wife. 2
stillafool Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 I've known women who were used for this purpose by guys who were studying for those professions as well (including musicians). This guy sounds like he wants food, sex and sleep. He isn't going to get serious with you. 1
elaine567 Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 This guy sounds like he wants food, sex and sleep. He isn't going to get serious with you. Sleep, sex and food in that order, I think. It seems he can hardly stay awake...
Author ThisisIt606 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Posted December 9, 2014 (edited) Some one in school - especially medical and/or law school - especially if they go to school and work, IMO, are not gonna be much RL material. They barely have time to brush their teeth. But, I've heard some medical students get some chick to "support" them through their studies (be available to cook, clean, sex etc.) at the guy's convenience - and when they're done with medical school they "upgrade" and marry who they really wanted to be - especially by choosing a "trophy" wife. Just to be clear (sorry if I wasn't), he's not in school. He graduated med school and he's a 2nd year resident doctor/just working (no school). But still a crazy/hectic schedule none the less... Edited December 9, 2014 by ThisisIt606
Author ThisisIt606 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Posted December 9, 2014 Also I texted about dinner plans and he responded with: hey- I think it might be kinda tight actually, I've got a bunch o things I need to get done. I think maybe we should reschedule for another time, soon though for sure! hope you're well. ^ My first reaction, yes i know he's busy (always) but he seemed so sure about TUesday before. But I feel as though now that he doesn't seem to be getting any (after I told him no last night) he's given up on future dates? He know's he leaves this Friday for 2 weeks and there's really no other time before then. Unless he's magically "not busy" wednesday.
PogoStick Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 Yes give up on him like all these other jaded people suggest. Just don't complain later that "all the good ones are taken". I'll laugh if the next guy you're complaining about is living in his parent's basement or as all the girls LOVE to say: If you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. 1
Standard-Fare Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 He genuinely sounds very busy and very tired. Which sucks for both him and anyone he's trying to date. He probably needs to be with a low-maintenance girl who is cool with keeping things fairly distant and casual. If you think this situation is just going to make you feel constantly frustrated and disappointed, do both of yourselves a favor and step out of it. Assume by default that his schedule won't get much better anytime in the forseeable future.
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