Sort of just friends but unsure?

[atedeschi]

Ok so this is actually my first post on this website and I am kinda lost since I am inexperienced with dating. To start off I am 20, a junior in college and have known this girl for 2 years since the actual first day of classes my freshman year. I immediately thought she was very attractive but barely talked to her. Fast forward about a year and we start talking more through mutual friends and get very close, problem being we are both with people and so I am sorted into the just friends category and since I was dating someone I distance myself about 8 months ago and barely speak for about 5-6 months.

 

 

Now, about 3 months ago I broke up with my gf at the same time she breaks up for a second time with her ex. We start hanging out a lot more, going out, etc and I realize I still have a lot of feelings for her. We end up kissing at a party and I ask her on a date. also find out she was interested when we first met but since neither of us were single she ruled it out a For about 3 weeks until the date (the first time we were both free on a weekend to go out) we are acting very pda, kissing, holding hands, all that good stuff. Date comes and it goes very well, the affectionate behavior continues and she makes it obvious that she is interested. We go back to her dorm, end up sleeping in the same bed but going all the way.

 

 

Now here is where I lose some understanding. She ends up telling me she isn't sure there is enough there to build a relationship on and that, since she has been single for at most 3 months since she was 14, she needs to stay single for longer and learn how to do her own thing. On the one hand I agree, she has a habit of being dependent on guys and she has had problems with that in the past. On the other, it seemed like it was more that she wasn't interested in me.

 

 

Honestly, I am super confused because there are signs that point to both. She showed interest, admitted it was a great date and that there were sparks and said that she had started looking at me as more than a friend. However, then she says she isn't extremely interested, doesn't want a relationship and does not want to lead me on.

 

 

What I am wondering is, is there hope? From what my friends who know her think, they suspect she is afraid of committing so soon after being hurt by just about every one of her exes and that while she is interested she genuinely needs time. My plan is to do just this, we go on a month and a half winter break, during which I do not plan to contact her and am going to focus on myself, go out, work out, maybe go on a few dates myself so I have options and I can keep myself from being too wrapped up with her. My hope is that improving myself into a more attractive guy, coupled with her missing me over break and having a few more months to be single may help build up interest but I would love second thoughts, advice and any experiences. Thanks!