lostnadrift Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 It's how it starts, always just a friend. Then slowly she'll begin to "see his sincerity". Then they'll bond and he'll be her escape. By then the amount of infractions against you will be so much you won't be able to look at her the same again.
road Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 Expose this affair to all. WW family and your kids. OM family as well.
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 I was OW. I will tell you the same thing I tell everyone else who comes here with a story like yours. You are in deep denial. My guy lived 1700 miles from me. He had no problem having an affair. We had a private email, we had an untraceable cell phone. He and I spoke, emailed, sent texts pretty much all day every day and nobody knew a thing. He traveled for his business and every time he went, so did I. Then, be left his wife. I moved across the country to be with him and we have been together ever since. You don't know WHAT she is doing and if she is involved in an EA,Jesus. It is the MOST intense relationship i was ever a part of. If you want to save your marriage, stop this now. There will come a time that it will be too late. Trust me. I know how it works, the depth of deceit to which one will go in order to fulfill needs that they feel are not being met, real or perceived. And out romancing.the other guy? Not a chance. The longer this goes the harder it will be to stop. Don't rest on your laurels. Good luck to you. Best post on here and one that comes with first hand knowledge. Wise words that need to be heard. 1
goodyblue Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 Expose this affair to all. WW family and your kids. OM family as well. Omg. No. Keep the kids out of it
spanz1 Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 (edited) She has not password protected her computer nor has she encrypted her phone. In fact she just let me wander off with it for 45 minutes today while we were out at the store. I love her very much and she is always very loving and squirmy when I give her compliments. . I personally do not mind much about a wife chatting online, or viewing porn, or reading erotic stories online--JUST as long as there is a benefit to me. Like kinkier sex at home, her trying new sex acts she saw online, etc. And chatting with a guy many states away, even if it is erotic texting, can be ok too. the danger is if she has poor boundaries, and you think she might actually fall for the guy, and go visit him while she says she is visiting her long-lost girlfriend instead. She seems to have such boundaries, as she not trying to hide things on her computer and phone. If it were me, I would sit down with her, discuss this guy, her relationship to him, and what strict boundaries she has to maintain with him to satisfy you. I think of this a lot like a woman picking up a trashy romance novel at the supermarket checkout line. I want to encourage their fantasy life, but like I said only so much as it benefits OUR relationship one boundary might be NO DELETING of any messages, ever. and you having all passwords to allow you to check on messages anytime you wish Edited December 11, 2014 by spanz1
jackslife Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 And chatting with a guy many states away, even if it is erotic texting, can be ok too. I disagree totally with this. This isn't a couple who want to do a bit of light swinging or have talked about involving others, she is doing this on her own. Reading erotic literature together or watching porn and exploring a sex life is fine. But a spouse doing sex texts with someone else - no way. 2
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 I personally do not mind much about a wife chatting online, or viewing porn, or reading erotic stories online--JUST as long as there is a benefit to me. Like kinkier sex at home, her trying new sex acts she saw online, etc. And chatting with a guy many states away, even if it is erotic texting, can be ok too. the danger is if she has poor boundaries, and you think she might actually fall for the guy, and go visit him while she says she is visiting her long-lost girlfriend instead. She seems to have such boundaries, as she not trying to hide things on her computer and phone. If it were me, I would sit down with her, discuss this guy, her relationship to him, and what strict boundaries she has to maintain with him to satisfy you. I think of this a lot like a woman picking up a trashy romance novel at the supermarket checkout line. I want to encourage their fantasy life, but like I said only so much as it benefits OUR relationship one boundary might be NO DELETING of any messages, ever. and you having all passwords to allow you to check on messages anytime you wish This is all fine and dandy in THEORY but it RARELY works out this way. As Jackslife said, it's one thing to read erotica and watch porn be it alone or as a couple and it's a WHOLE other thing to play out those fantasies with another person regardless if they live an ocean and two time zones away. Trust me. And I'm going to hate myself for saying this but this kind of attention is particularly hard for WOMEN. We not only fall harder then most men and tend to get more emotionally invested in men who feed our need to be desired but we also can't compartmentalize as well as men can. Basically, this ends up being a recipe for disaster if you're not careful. But hey, if you're perfectly fine with strange men warming your woman up for you so she can f*ck your brains out better then so be it. To each their own
goodyblue Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 I personally do not mind much about a wife chatting online, or viewing porn, or reading erotic stories online--JUST as long as there is a benefit to me. Like kinkier sex at home, her trying new sex acts she saw online, etc. And chatting with a guy many states away, even if it is erotic texting, can be ok too. the danger is if she has poor boundaries, and you think she might actually fall for the guy, and go visit him while she says she is visiting her long-lost girlfriend instead. She seems to have such boundaries, as she not trying to hide things on her computer and phone. If it were me, I would sit down with her, discuss this guy, her relationship to him, and what strict boundaries she has to maintain with him to satisfy you. I think of this a lot like a woman picking up a trashy romance novel at the supermarket checkout line. I want to encourage their fantasy life, but like I said only so much as it benefits OUR relationship one boundary might be NO DELETING of any messages, ever. and you having all passwords to allow you to check on messages anytime you wish You may want to rethink the stance of bolded. This happened with my guy. Years later he has left his wife, divorced, moved my gaggle of small children and me across the country, we are in the process of buying a home and his ex wife still wonders where the truck is that hit her. Something to consider. And women are particularly susceptible, but for me, it was my guy more than me. Once that connection was made there was no stopping him.
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