Rik777 Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 I have been dating a female I met on a dating website for about a month. In that time, we have had four dates. She shows signs that she is interested when we are together. The last date (last week) ended with me asking her what she thought about being exclusive. However, she never gave me an answer. She tells me that I am the only person that she is dating. My issues is, to date she has not once initiated any contact. If I don't contact her, I don't hear from here. At times when I call her she doesn't answer, only to then message me few hours later apologising for missing my call. I have never experienced anything like this and find it odd. What do you peeps thing, especially her failure to initiate contact??
Redhead14 Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 I have been dating a female I met on a dating website for about a month. In that time, we have had four dates. She shows signs that she is interested when we are together. The last date (last week) ended with me asking her what she thought about being exclusive. However, she never gave me an answer. She tells me that I am the only person that she is dating. My issues is, to date she has not once initiated any contact. If I don't contact her, I don't hear from here. At times when I call her she doesn't answer, only to then message me few hours later apologising for missing my call. I have never experienced anything like this and find it odd. What do you peeps thing, especially her failure to initiate contact?? In the first month, a woman generally appreciates when the man is showing serious interest. You should at least text her a light message each day. Just once. Wait for her response and respond in kind. You should call her at least once a week to set up a date. As for her asking about exclusivity after only one month, I'd hesitate a little but open the discussion about what each of you is looking for in your dating experiences. 1
venusishername Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 I have been dating a female I met on a dating website for about a month. In that time, we have had four dates. She shows signs that she is interested when we are together. The last date (last week) ended with me asking her what she thought about being exclusive. However, she never gave me an answer. She tells me that I am the only person that she is dating. My issues is, to date she has not once initiated any contact. If I don't contact her, I don't hear from here. At times when I call her she doesn't answer, only to then message me few hours later apologising for missing my call. I have never experienced anything like this and find it odd. What do you peeps thing, especially her failure to initiate contact?? I think that's she's not so sure about you. If she really liked you, she'd be initiating contact, at least some time. If you call her and she texts back hours later, she's lukewarm. If she liked you she'd answer the phone, or at least call back, not text. Women are careful about initiating contact in the beginning because we have been told to not be too eager and desperate. But the fact that she NEVER initiates is an indication of a dim interest. 1
Author Rik777 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Posted December 8, 2014 Thanks for your thoughts. What would be the best way to confront her about this?
Frank2thepoint Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 Hmmm, four dates in is a bit too soon to be asking to be exclusive. Have you guys gotten physical, such as kissing, but not necessarily sex? But on the other hand, her not initiating any contact, is lukewarm interest on her part. At four dates, she should be reaching out to you as well, even setting up a date too. Sadly I don't think she is too interested in you, especially if you guys haven't gotten physical. 1
GSP21 Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 I literally had the same problem as you just last week - I would always initiate. Fortunately the girl invited me to lunch a few days ago. You might just have to wait a little longer before she feels comfortable. However, even though I would initiate before, she would always reply to my texts right away. Maybe this girl just isn't the type to have her phone around her all the time, but she might be "lukewarm" like everyone else is saying. I typically don't check my phone all the time (it is on vibrate always), but if I really like someone, I make sure to answer back as soon as possible. 2
Author Rik777 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Posted December 8, 2014 Yes we got physical on the last date. Like I say, she shows interests towards me when we're together, hence I am confused why she does that. Perhaps she is being given advise to do this by her friends to keep me keen. The only logical thing I can come out with. But I think I will ask her.
Author Rik777 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Posted December 8, 2014 GSP21, i hope it going well with yours. I think 'Lukewarm' is a word that has been mentioned repeatedly on this thread. Most likely culprit.
GSP21 Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 GSP21, i hope it going well with yours. I think 'Lukewarm' is a word that has been mentioned repeatedly on this thread. Most likely culprit. Thank you for your encouragement. We're basically in that transitioning stage of "exclusive dating" to "in a relationship" at this point. The problem is that we both have exams soon and then she is leaving for Korea during the Winter Break so we won't have much progress anytime soon.
Author Rik777 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Posted December 8, 2014 Thank you for your encouragement. We're basically in that transitioning stage of "exclusive dating" to "in a relationship" at this point. The problem is that we both have exams soon and then she is leaving for Korea during the Winter Break so we won't have much progress anytime soon. If I was in your shoes I will make it official before she goes. But that's just my opinion. But whatever you decide to do, I hope it goes well.
Author Rik777 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Posted December 8, 2014 Thank you for your encouragement. We're basically in that transitioning stage of "exclusive dating" to "in a relationship" at this point. The problem is that we both have exams soon and then she is leaving for Korea during the Winter Break so we won't have much progress anytime soon. If I was in your shoes I will make it official before she goes. But that's just my opinion. But whatever you decide to do, I hope it goes well.
Blakely Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 I'm a firm believer in letting a man lead the first few months. That's really the only way I can gauge a guy's true interest. She told you she's not seeing anybody, so trust her and take it easy. Too much "label pressure" can be a turn off in the early days of a relationship. Sounds like your doing your job by not giving her mixed signals...maybe wait until she comes back from her trip and take it from there.
Author Rik777 Posted December 11, 2014 Author Posted December 11, 2014 I am fair for letting the man lead. But, not initiating contact since late October and over four dates? How's the man to know she is interested?
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