SethDamien Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 My gf broke up with me 10 months ago, were still friends. But after all these months, im still having a hard time accepting our break up. (now i see the value of NC), even when we were still in the relationship, she'd keep telling me how im the worst person she's ever met, and how i keep on ruining her life. that i'll never amount to anything because im useless, and stuff like that, she'd call me names, and she would curse me alot. This is how the break up began... me and my gf's cousin were pretty close... Everytime my gf and i would fight, i could count on her cousin for me to vent out. I guess it became habitual that every time me and my gf would fight, i'd keep on chatting her cousin out of spite and reprisal because she also knew how verbally abusive my gf is, so i felt she was the only person i could relate to my situation. Through time, im just stockpiling all the negatives my gf has, while i was starting to have a crush on her (very understanding) cousin... but im still madly in love with my gf and i never have any plans of replacing her for her cousin... i started to say things to her cousin of how pretty she is, and how lucky her bf is, etc2. Perhaps her cousin felt it was becoming too personal so she told my gf everything... Tell me, did i really cheat if we only had a conversation, and only talked about my gf? my GF seemed to think so... She called me more names and said that im like a dog trying to hump every female i see, that im a "whore" (wtf!), and that i was a stinking liar... i do agree, my lie made everything worse. if i could have just told her the moment it happened, she would have been more understanding... any opinion would be appreciated... i have very low self esteem and she's making me feel she's right on everything about me...
Yankee99 Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 No it wasn't cheating, but you shouldn't be involved in an abusive relationship. The verbal insults your gf hurls at you are unacceptable and you shouldn't tolerate it.
Chi townD Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 Technically, yeah. You did cheat. It's called an emotional affair. You crossed the line with the cousin. Telling her that she's pretty (well, that's not a bad thing) but when you compound it with telling her very personal stuff, stuff that should be reserved for a loving and caring relationship, that's when you crossed the line. You don't have to be physically intimate to cheat, you can still be emotionally intimate and still be considered cheating. You let yourself get emotionally invested in her cousin. But, on the flip side. Your Ex is abusive. You need to let that one go. You need to let go of your Ex and let go of her cousin and start walking down your own path. Start NC, start making positive changes in your life and move on. Time to heal and start fresh.
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